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Would we be unreasonable to take DCs out of school for a day for grandparents wedding anniversary?

(198 Posts)
iwouldgoouttonight Mon 28-Mar-16 19:27:45

Grandparents are having a party for their golden wedding on a Saturday. They live about three hours drive away. They've asked if we can help them get things ready on the Friday, which would mean the DCS (9 and 7) taking a day off school.

They've already had one unauthorised day off for another reason in this academic year, and DS has missed a couple of hours here and there for hospital appointments.

Would you take them out on the Friday to go down to the grandparents?

AgathaMystery Mon 28-Mar-16 19:32:30

Yup I would. Grandparents are important and they (DC) may never celebrate another golden wedding.

Some things are really important. In my family, GP golden & diamond weddings were huge huge events.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Mon 28-Mar-16 19:34:17

Any special weekend? Bank holiday or anything?

What would they miss?

I would probably do it, if they weren't more of a hindrance while I was helping! And they hadn't missed much already.

PunkAssMoFo Mon 28-Mar-16 19:36:06

If the party was on Friday I would take them out. As it's on the Saturday, I wouldn't. Is there no-one else to help? Perhaps they should hire caterers or the like if they are unable to manage alone.

iwouldgoouttonight Mon 28-Mar-16 19:40:35

It's a normal Friday in the middle of term, not a bank holiday weekend. Grandparents do have BIL there for the week helping to get things ready too so they're not managing alone.

ilovesooty Mon 28-Mar-16 19:56:58

I wouldn't, no.

Hairyfairy01 Mon 28-Mar-16 20:13:57

As long as it wasn't dc sats week then yes, no problems.

GabiSolis Mon 28-Mar-16 20:17:07

I would probably do it. That said, you say 'we' so is there any reason one of you can't go on the Friday to help and the other travels on the Saturday with the DCs?

Finola1step Mon 28-Mar-16 20:17:47

I would compromise. Send the dc into school. Pack up the car, pick up the dc at half one. Drive straight there. That way, they get their morning and afternoon marks in the register and you get a head start helping with the party.

mouldycheesefan Mon 28-Mar-16 20:19:02

It's not to attend the party though is it, it's to prepare for the party.
I think I would check with grandparents what prep they actually need doing the day before, if bil is belong for a week how much more helping is needed?
I would leave after school so be there about 6.30 and can help for rest of day Friday and until party sat.
I do take my children out of school for holidays, so I am not against it, but in this case it is unclear what is needed to be done and I wouldn't miss school for non specific vague "getting ready"

YellowDinosaur Mon 28-Mar-16 20:19:06

Do you have a partner? If you do is there a reason why one of you can't go up and help them during the day on Friday and the other take your children up after school?

I'd take them out for a party if it was on the Friday. Taking them out to help set up is taking the piss a bit tbh. Offer help that you can you at yours, like preparing some food or making phone calls rather than help that needs to be there on the ground. Surely your bil can do that

SolidGoldBrass Mon 28-Mar-16 20:19:18

I would, because the obsession with attendance is stupid (and damaging as well) . A golden wedding is a big deal for DC who love their grandparents, and of more benefit to them than a single day's primary schooling which will be easy enough to make up.

Muskateersmummy Mon 28-Mar-16 20:22:38

Personally I wouldn't. I would offer to help with the clean up, and to get down after school has finished so you'll be there to help sat morning.

iwouldgoouttonight Mon 28-Mar-16 20:33:58

Thanks all. Mixed responses! DP and I can't go separately as we only have one car and it'd be very difficult getting there on public transport, PIL live very remotely.

They are a bit vague about what preparation we need to help with. My suggestion was that we all go down straight after school on the Friday but MIL really wants us to go earlier. I just feel a bit unsure about taking the DCs out of school for the second time this year when DS has already missed some time for hospital appointments. If the party was on the Friday it would make sense but I'm not sure about missing a day for setting up.

monkeysox Mon 28-Mar-16 20:35:37

Save yourself some hassle and phone them in sick

YellowDinosaur Mon 28-Mar-16 20:37:44

Your mil is being unreasonable to ask this of you when she can't even say what she'd like you to do.

Go after school on Friday as you had planned and offer help you can do at a distance or cleaning up after

willowcatkin111 Mon 28-Mar-16 20:38:58

I'd do it. It's a big family occasion that may never happen again.

ilovesooty Mon 28-Mar-16 20:40:53

Save yourself some hassle and phone them in sick

That didn't take long.

Doilooklikeatourist Mon 28-Mar-16 20:41:10

It's one more day , it's important to the inlaws
Phone in sick , or write in amd tell them that the DC are unable ro attend school on that day

FullMoonDiva Mon 28-Mar-16 20:41:22

If the party was on the Friday then I would say yes take them out without a second thought but as it is she wants you to go and help with 'prep' despite the fact she has bil there? I wouldn't for that instance, at most I would have the car and as soon as I picked up the kids at 3pm I would drive down.

Hassled Mon 28-Mar-16 20:43:24

I'd go for it - you won't get a fine for one day's unauthorised. Write a vaguely apologetic note explaining and the school will take it on the chin.

starry0ne Mon 28-Mar-16 20:43:55

I would speak to MIL... say it is difficult and ask specifically what needs doing..Is it food you could cook at home?

I would maybe compromise go after registration in the afternoon.. I would go if it was the party but can't see what needs doing that requires so many people to help.

Drinksforeveryone Mon 28-Mar-16 20:47:51

I wouldn't.

Set off straight after school on Friday.

You will have Friday evening and Saturday until the time of the party to help out.

Tell MIL that DC cannot take time off school.

gamerchick Mon 28-Mar-16 20:50:36

No go after school. Your mil is being unreasonable.

toomuchicecream Mon 28-Mar-16 20:51:39

As starry0ne says - go after afternoon registration. That way they'll get their mark on the register and you can get ahead of the traffic. Everyone's happy (teacher writing...)

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