Should I be upset?

(17 Posts)
greatscott81 Sun 27-Mar-16 18:26:37

So I have had two wonderful days with my DD. We've been to the theatre, we've been to a theme park, we've been for long walks with Gruffalo hunts . . . and now, on Easter Sunday I've had to drop her off at her Father's house. We were meant to go to one but the weather was so horrible and I didn't have her wellies. I know he isn't going to do anything like that for her - I doubt any member of his family has even bought her an Easter egg. So I now feel horrible that she missed out because I was unprepared. I hate having to give her back on days which are meant to be family days and I'm here alone. I miss her so much. Sorry, very self-indulgent.

greatscott81 Sun 27-Mar-16 18:27:38

Sorry that was unclear - we were meant to go for an Easter Egg Hunt . . . but didn't have wellies

OneLove10 Sun 27-Mar-16 18:31:32

How old is she? If very young, She probably doesn't even know about this Easter egg hunt and all that so its only you who will actually be upset. You can always do it when she gets back and she wouldn't know.

Cocochoco Sun 27-Mar-16 18:33:11

It's just what happens sometimes - things go wrong. My chocoholic dd is poorly - can't eat her eggs and our family lunch out ended up being lunch out for DH and ds while I stayed home with dd and held the bucket.

There will be cancelled Easter Egg hunts all over the country, too. It sounds like you had a fab couple of days with your dd so just pour a glass of wine and put the TV on. Maybe you could organise a mini egg hunt in your home that she can do as soon as she gets back?

Vintage45 Sun 27-Mar-16 18:35:13

Totally sympathise having to "share" children.

To be fair to your ex though, little kids don't need to do a million and one big things to be happy.

Stratter5 Sun 27-Mar-16 18:35:25

Err 'family days', her father IS family.

Just because he's not doing what you'd want, doesn't make it wrong. Mine have never been on an Easter egg hunt, or a Gruffalo walk. It wouldn't have occured to their v loving GPs to do anything either. Kids love days snuggled up on the sofa watching cartoons every bit as much as exhausting organised Days Out.

HackerFucker22 Sun 27-Mar-16 18:45:35

I think you just have to take a deep breath and move on. You did some nice stuff, you had your family time and now she is going to spend some time with the rest of her family.

I did naff all 'Easter-y' and it doesn't mean I don't love my kids.

Witchend Sun 27-Mar-16 18:52:23

We never had Easter hunts growing up. We. Only usually got one egg. Never felt we missed out.

But her father IS family...just because his idea of a "family day" is different from yours, doesn't mean she's missing out

I don't think I've ever done an Easter egg hunt and I've never felt like I've missed out

Queenie73 Sun 27-Mar-16 19:04:34

Of course you miss her, that's perfectly normal. I assume she's safe and happy at her dad's house? If so then you just need to relax and let go. Perhaps the days you don't have her would be good times to catch up with old friends, take up a hobby or visit relatives. Some time to focus on your own needs could be really good for you.

Newes Sun 27-Mar-16 19:05:11

You've done a lot together in the last couple of days. Try not to dwell on the one thing you missed out on and that was down to the weather really, not you.

MelanieCheeks Sun 27-Mar-16 19:08:42

I think you're unreasonable in being upset. It's not compulsory to partake in an Easter Egg hunt, and I bet many of us on here have survived without having had that experience.

Focus on the nice times you had with her this weekend.

Ditsy4 Sun 27-Mar-16 19:10:53

Do you have her tomorrow? Take her on one then. Coats and wellies at the ready and if there isn't any on make your own. Pack of small eggs, tiny basket, paper and pens. I used to try and write rhyming ones. If you don't have a garden take her to the park. Hide some behind trees, in the grass. If you don't have her just now make it now it will help you to stop missing her. It must be hard for you but why not plan things for her on those days so you are doing things for her although most mums would be glad of a few hours off.

Binders1 Sun 27-Mar-16 19:11:07

I hate having to share my son but that's because every day he spends with his dad is a wasted day for my son.

However, its not necessary to plan a million things to do with your child and it seems a bit daft that you feel upset that you didn't do yet another activity on top of all the other things you have done. As pp said, it doesn't make someone a bad parent or love their child any less if they don't fill their child's every waking hours with days/trips out and activities. If you live where I live its a total washout with the weather so no egg hunts going on here. Doesn't sound like your child is missing out at all.

lavenderhoney Sun 27-Mar-16 19:34:20

Your dd sounds as if she has had a lovely time with you and is now with her df also having a lovely time. An Easter egg hunt isn't all that thrilling and I expect she'll enjoy some quiet time with him.

My DC aren't in even in the same country as me, atm, and much as I love them I assume ex dh is working hard to make their time happy, or his parents are hmm

I have no plans to spoil it or make them feel bad about whatever they do, which I don't think will be much. In fact, I look on the bright side and I don't have to fuck about with crafts or trek round yet another farm park in the pissing rain pretending to be having fun.

You need to organise yourself a back up plan for times like this, for you. Mine is to run bloody miles and not cooksmile also I read books without having to worry DC will spot said book and ask about it ( it's for grown ups) and no one nags at me wanting snacks or to play Board games etc.

ClarenceTheLion Sun 27-Mar-16 19:44:43

Look around the shops for Easter stock on sale and plan your own Easter egg hunt for the next day you have her. It doesn't have to be on a specific day.

WorraLiberty Sun 27-Mar-16 20:01:06

I can genuinely say I never went on an Easter egg hunt as a child. I'm not entirely sure I know anyone who did?

You've had a lovely couple of days, just chill now and let her enjoy time with her Dad too.

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