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To think that I have odd parents?

(48 Posts)
Igottastartthinkingbee Sat 26-Mar-16 21:13:02

They have been staying over at ours for Easter. DH away with his hobby so me, 2 small DC (18months and 4) and grandparents are to have a few days of trips out/Easter egg hunts/ general hanging out.

DH has decided to cut his trip short because of the weather. So him and his friend are coming back here tonight and will probably do their hobby somewhere more locally tomorrow. We have lots of room for the extra guest to stay over.

I finally get downstairs after settling DCs to bed and DM and DF inform me that they're going home! And mention that extra guest is the reason why. Feel that they're 'crowding us out'. They're not. DF has an issue with plans changing at the last minute. He cannot cope with dealing with anything unexpected.

So I'm pissed off that they've gone because:
1. They haven't said goodbye to the DCs who are expecting them to still be here tomorrow
2. They'll miss the excitement of the egg hunt (and it would've been more exciting with them here instead of just me)
3. I have an extra day on my own with the DCs.
4. It was quite nice having some adult company with DH being away and I'm sat here like a lemon on my own. DH and friend aren't back till quite late.

I'm sure DM would've stayed when I tried to talk them round. DH and friend will be gone after breakfast and not back till teatime. I cannot see the issue but DF had made his mind up so off they went. I am now eating a massive chocolate egg all to myself tbublush.

btw my parents mainly DF are odd in other ways but I haven't the will to go into everything!

edwinbear Sat 26-Mar-16 21:17:07

Do they know the friend who is staying? I expect they were looking forward to a family Easter with their daughter and grandchildren and are worried about making conversation with a stranger if it's someone they don't know.

KimmySchmidtsSmile Sat 26-Mar-16 21:19:04

That sucks sad
Ah well more chocolate and wine for you.
Was your Dad scared of small talk? Do they get on with DH?
Given that the two coming back was not going to impinge a lot on their visit, it is strange that they are 'put out' enough to leave on Easter Saturday without thought to the GC. So yes, strange, rude, sulky, attention sweeping, no longer feel welcome/special snowflakes or whatever or just very antisocial/not okay with 'strangers'/undiagnosed on the autie spectrum.
Have as good a two days as you can love xxx

KimmySchmidtsSmile Sat 26-Mar-16 21:19:52

seeking, obvs!

absolutelynotfabulous Sat 26-Mar-16 21:28:34

Perhaps they didn't fancy staying and the "guest" gave them a convenient excuse?

Igottastartthinkingbee Sat 26-Mar-16 21:29:36

Thanks for replying. They have met the friend a couple of times but don't know him well. He's a nice, chatty interesting bloke who's quite normal really! I was taken aback because in reality they'd only have had to make small talk over breakfast as DH probably won't be back till gone 11pm when we'd have all been in bed. But now they gone they'll be missing what will hopefully still be a lovely day with their grandchildren (who they don't see regularly as they live two hours away).

Igottastartthinkingbee Sat 26-Mar-16 21:32:17

Well absolutely they haven't given me that impression in the last two days. They brought an Easter egg hunt kit with them so obviously intended to stay on Easter Sunday. Oh well, back to the chocolate tbuconfused

absolutelynotfabulous Sat 26-Mar-16 21:36:38

Oh I dunno...people can be a bit strange. Maybe they're making a point about them not being the centre of attention now the guest is there? It may sound a bit bonkers, but my mother would've been like this.

TheBouquets Sat 26-Mar-16 21:41:10

Maybe there is some feeling that they have not discussed with you. Or that you have not picked up on. Perhaps they had hoped to spend the weekend with you their daughter and the grandchildren without even your OH being there. The hobby friend was just one step too far for them.
It could be undiagnosed ASD. They have decided to undertake a two hour journey which was not planned, which makes it look like they or DF can change plans at a moments notice.
Give it a few days and then try to ask them quietly and without putting forward any suggestions of excuses why they left so suddenly. Explain that you and DCs are disappointed that they cut short their weekend with you.

Igottastartthinkingbee Sat 26-Mar-16 21:41:59

Ughhh have you inherited any of your mother's oddness absolutely? I genuinely worry that I will turn out like my father.

CadleCrap Sat 26-Mar-16 21:43:02

You can get Easter egg hunt kits? < misses point>

Igottastartthinkingbee Sat 26-Mar-16 21:43:22

ASD? Is that autism bouquets?

Igottastartthinkingbee Sat 26-Mar-16 21:44:32

tbugrin cadle I already have the darn Easter egg kit, they brought another one with them!

Creampastry Sat 26-Mar-16 21:45:10

They are quite mean for not sticking around to say goodbye to their grandkids. Selfish of them and that speaks volumes IMO.

Katarzyna79 Sat 26-Mar-16 21:47:59

I think it's old age behaviour first signs of mental health issues, my dad does stuff like that a lot. Some folks don't like change, my dad is such a grumpy man. If someone comes that he only knows a little bit but not a complete stranger rather than making small talk for like 5 mins just to ask after them he will go hide in his room until theyre gone lol

when I used to visit after a 6-7 hr journey he'd open the door and rather than hugging me he'd say "why have you come for?" lool

i'll come to the egg hunt, I can roll over like an egg I'm such a lard ass pregnant ball right now ur kids will mistake me for a big easter egg

moreshitandnofuckingredemption Sat 26-Mar-16 21:48:12

I could see mine doing this. It would be my mum's concern about (for example) meeting friend on the landing without her teeth in. No point arguing really but I would be disappointed too.

Mishaps Sat 26-Mar-16 21:50:03

What a shame that you were happy to welcome them and they have rejected this. Speaking as a mother and MIL I love it when my children's friends are around - the way that they accept all generations is very heartening. When I was young it definitely was not like that.

Your parents are missing out by going home - what a wasted opportunity! Crazy!

YoureNotAlone Sat 26-Mar-16 21:51:01

It's your DC that I feel sorry for. I hope they aren't too upset when they wake to find their Grandparents have suddenly gone. I know my DD would be sad

MardyGrave Sat 26-Mar-16 21:55:09

This is something I'd do, I'd feel uncomfortable with the change of plans put upon me/wouldn't have accepted the invitation if I'd known that was the original plan.

Xmasbaby11 Sat 26-Mar-16 21:56:19

It is a bit odd to change plans for what seems to be no good reason. I'd be annoyed you're left with a free day at the last minute when you could have made plans.

Some grandparents forget that young children get upset with last minute changes and not being said goodbye to. They should have made their decision earlier - they are just being a bit thoughtless.

GreatFuckability Sat 26-Mar-16 21:59:38

i'd be inclined to want to go to , if i'm honest. because i'm so ridiculously socially awkward. but i recognise that i'm odd.

TheBouquets Sat 26-Mar-16 22:00:01

ASD is Autistic Spectrum Disorder. Or it could just be one person's foibles. We all have little habits and like to do little things certain ways. It is about how much the ASD affects everyday life. (Or so I believe I am new on this myself)

Witchend Sat 26-Mar-16 22:00:42

My df would probably do similar. In his case he's so keen not to get in the way he goes too far iyswim.

scarlets Sat 26-Mar-16 22:10:54

It could be that your father is pathetic and petulant, or that he's not up for being sociable with someone he doesn't know well, or it could be that he feels he made an effort to come and help you out with the children over Easter in your DH's absence only for DH to be there anyway, but mucking about with a mate rather than focusing on the kids.

AgentZigzag Sat 26-Mar-16 22:12:52

It's not on of them to up and leave without saying anything to their GC, but maybe they're leaving for another reason but don't want to say what?

It's kind of like you're guessing at a stranger's reason for going home rather than knowing what your parents are like and thinking they must have a good reason for going.

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