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To snap his game in half?

(10 Posts)
artlessflirt Sat 26-Mar-16 19:20:01

DP works full time and I am, at present, SAHP to our 5 month old DD. She's quite a demanding baby (aren't they all?) so come bedtime (7pm) I'm quite naturally shattered and ready to drop.

DP for some reason struggles with bedtime and with DD teething it's become even more difficult. So I put her to bed every night unless I'm not there physically to do so.

DP NEVER does anything while I am doing this, other than play stupid fucking FIFA on the XBox. So I come down and have to tidy up the bedtime chaos, and then wash up, get dinner on, etc. If I express that I expected him to do SOMETHING, anything he says I'm shouting at him, getting aggressive or for god's sake he's having a sit down for 2 minutes...OH REALLY?! What does that feel like then? All the while he's tap tap tapping away on that game reading emails about transfers or playing a match. He does it on his day off too. He claims he will do XYZ after he's finished the match he's playing, during which time I've already fucking done what needs doing while having a Velcro baby attached to me!

WIBU to snap the fucking disc in half, hide the Xbox power cord and tell him to get off his arse and do something?

Don't get me wrong, I get he works but my work never feels done! I don't mind him playing later on when I'm reading or something but seeing him on that game when the house is in chaos makes me want to shove the controller somewhere unsavoury.

OneLove10 Sat 26-Mar-16 19:21:20

He obviously didn't become this selfish overnight so why didn't you tackle this before?

YouAreMyRain Sat 26-Mar-16 19:22:26

I divorced my Fifa obsessed husband

Arfarfanarf Sat 26-Mar-16 19:27:16

If he wont accept how much time is wasted with him on that game, how about keeping a log for a fortnight. Show him the stupid number of hours wasted.

Or ask him if he thinks it is fair that you do x, y and z while he plays that game.

Or say to him do you want to put the baby to bed while i tidy or would you prefer to tidy now while i put the baby to bed.

Tell him that adults dont get to opt out of chores and it is not fair of him to steal time from you, which is what he is doing by playing games like a child while you get stuck being the grown up.

Tell him that you would quite like some relaxing time but you cant because someone has to be the adult.

It's really unacceptable behaviour.

Purplepicnic Sat 26-Mar-16 19:28:13

Have you tried telling him what you want him to do? Some men don't notice stuff.

'DH, I'm going to put the baby to bed. Could you please wash up the cups and start peeling those potatoes?'

ShamefulPlaceMarker Sat 26-Mar-16 19:30:22

Was he like this before you had a baby?

artlessflirt Sat 26-Mar-16 19:31:45

Before DD came along I never really realised it, to be honest. We both worked but I can't ever recall being this exhausted or the chores feeling like such a big deal to me.

I think I have changed in as much as I can't stand stuff being all over the place or stuff not done, so it very much winds me up. Now, it seems, these little things irritate me and I'm always thinking of what needs doing next.

He also hardly played the Xbox until DD arrived, either, so never anticipated this.

MairzyDoats Sat 26-Mar-16 19:32:51

Definitely at the beginning of bedtime you need to specify exactly what needs doing and give him the choice of bedtime or chores. If he chooses the chores (he will) and you come downstairs and they are not done, rip him another arsehole. It's a sorry state of affairs but I live with a man child and the 'either/or' choice works (sometimes.)

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay Sat 26-Mar-16 19:33:36

How many hours a week does he work? Work out how many hours alone you are with the baby - that's your work hours. Tell him what the difference is and tell him to get his fucking finger out and pull his weight. I am so sick of reading about immature useless husbands. Stand your ground.

artlessflirt Sat 26-Mar-16 19:36:06

Arf, that's good advice, thanks.

He probably doesn't understand the urgency I feel to get things done so I can just relax once the baby is in bed. He is, obviously, happy to sit amongst the chaos whilst I can't switch off unless I know the bottles are sterilised and the kitchen is clear of baby debris!

I mean, even just pouring me a glass of wine or making a cup of tea would be a start so I can be greeted with something nice rather than a bunch of stuff to do.

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