To hope these parents are Mumsnetters so I can actually say what I think to them

(270 Posts)
Northernlurker Sat 26-Mar-16 18:28:46

I found your small child in the car park at Waitrose today. I think he was no more than 4, if that. Dh and I saw him as we drove in and when I realised he was alone I leapt out of the car and went to speak to him. The first thing he said was that Mummy had 'gone'. He was scared and bewildered and had clearly made it all of the way out of the shop and around 150 metres across the carpark to your car looking for you.
So what I want to know is why you weren't looking for him? Because I stood talking to him for a good two or three minutes and then I sent dh in to the shop to get an announcement made. When the assistant came out at speed a minute later I thought it was because you had already reported him lost but no, she was just following procedure. I saw you when you 'found' him though you can't really call it that because you clearly hasn't registered he might have wandered. The assistant told you he was found in the carpark and you didn't seem bothered at all.
He is a very sweet child. I could see that from the couple of minutes I had with him. I think he deserves parents who notice when he disappears don't you?

angry

I should have told you what I thought there and then. But I was being terribly British about it and I couldn't really believe what I was seeing tbh.

I really hope you see this and do things differently because he won't always make his way safely across a busy car park and he won't always run in to nice Mumsnetters like me.

neonrainbow Sat 26-Mar-16 18:31:27

Maybe dad thought mum has him and mum thought dad had him. No harm done.

neonrainbow Sat 26-Mar-16 18:32:15

What has you being a mumsnetter got to do with anything?

magratsflyawayhair Sat 26-Mar-16 18:34:06

Because thy might see this post and think harder about watching him next time?

Fivetoomany Sat 26-Mar-16 18:35:17

I completely agree op. You will get flamed. But most people realise within 30 seconds that there child is missing! Well done fore stopping and helping the poor thing smile

0phelia Sat 26-Mar-16 18:35:21

WOW
You are the most judgemental MNer I have come across.
How do you know Mum wasn't going frantic inside the store looking for her child.

0phelia Sat 26-Mar-16 18:36:33

The mum was most probably worrying and looking about for her child.

0phelia Sat 26-Mar-16 18:37:21

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Northernlurker Sat 26-Mar-16 18:37:36

I know they weren't going frantic because I saw them. They seemed oblivious. Too right I'm judgemental in those circumstances.

OneLove10 Sat 26-Mar-16 18:37:53

Do you want a medal? And what does you being a mn have to do with anything?

Ohfuckaducky Sat 26-Mar-16 18:38:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NerrSnerr Sat 26-Mar-16 18:39:45

Heaven forbid the person who found him wasn't a mumsnetter. I can't imagine what would have happened then hmm

You have no idea whether she was looking or not. Some kids are blooming lightening quick at getting away. I assume you have never made a parenting mistake?

Floggingmolly Sat 26-Mar-16 18:39:50

No harm done, when he was found in a car park?? This time, maybe. They got lucky...

MammaTJ Sat 26-Mar-16 18:40:00

You have clearly never lost a child in a busy place! Well good for you.

It is the most scary experience a parent will go through in normal life. Most of us suffer it t some point.

Mine was at an adventure type place where there was so much to explore that my DD wandered off to do so!

I felt like I was having a heart attack, my heart was pounding so much!

She was found very quickly by the well trained staff, but it still scared me witless!

I'm sure you will do better when you have DCs old enough to actually do a runner though!

ALemonyPea Sat 26-Mar-16 18:40:30

Most dramatic MNer you've come across? Really?

I can see why it's upset you Northern, I'd have been the same.

Felyne Sat 26-Mar-16 18:40:41

Maybe she was internally freaking out but managing to hold it together so as not to upset her kid?

Northernlurker Sat 26-Mar-16 18:43:49

My oldest is nearly 18 mamma. I've made plenty of mistakes believe me. I've also found lost children several times. Never returned them to parents who seemed oblivious and not bothered though.

bearleftmonkeyright Sat 26-Mar-16 18:45:02

I have been in this situation op, two little girls walked out of the car and into the Threshers I worked in. Mum was in the takeaway across the road. They were there for a good 10 minutes. No one was watching them and she was not bothered in the slightest when she came to collect them. The girls didn't have a clue where she was. Must have been aged about 4 and 2. She drove off with the two of them in the back. No car seats, not strapped in.angry

QuiteLikely5 Sat 26-Mar-16 18:45:49

I truly doubt that a mother did not notice her child was missing and also doubt that she wasn't worried.

RudeElf Sat 26-Mar-16 18:45:52

As the parent of a runner you can have a big ol' fuck right off from me. hmm

NerrSnerr Sat 26-Mar-16 18:45:59

You don't know if she was acting oblivious not to upset the child more though. You don't know anything about the situation.

My daughter kept taking her shoes and socks off in the bad weather today, she screamed every time I tried to put them back on. It's judgey threads like this that make me worry that every bugger is judging me and thinking I'm a bad parent when I am doing my best like the rest of us.

leelu66 Sat 26-Mar-16 18:46:14

Unfortunately OP, this comes across more as a stealth boast rather than a plea to the parents.

Why would you stand talking to the child for 2 or 3 minutes instead of taking him straight into the store?

You sound annoyed that you didn't get a thank you from the parents.

Agree that parents need to keep a close eye on kids, but most know that, and kids can still escape you sometimes.

MollyRedskirts Sat 26-Mar-16 18:46:40

I'm with you, Northern. I would have judged too - and yes, I've lost one of my own children inside a shop - but I NOTICED. It didn't take a few minutes either.

Floggingmolly Sat 26-Mar-16 18:50:08

Most of us have lost a child in a public place, actually. When ds2 disappeared in the supermarket, I made a holy show of myself...
I was at the checkout; and he disappeared from sight in the 5 seconds it took to key in my card number.
I ran the length of the shop screaming "anybody seen a little boy in a red tshirt" "someone call security" into the faces of everyone I sprinted past - my one goal was to get to the doors before he did.
By the time I'd actually reached the doors the security guy was pointing back to where I'd just ran from; ds had literally walked behind a large cardboard advertising board about 2 feet from where I'd been standing blush
Everybody within a radius of 2 miles 100 yards were aware, though.

3littlefrogs Sat 26-Mar-16 18:51:02

My 2 year old was almost killed on a busy main road because my stupid MIL left him to make his own way back to me when she left the venue we were in to go back to her car and drive home.

I am sure the lady who saved him thought I was a dreadful parent, but I thought MIL was looking after him. I had no idea that he was alone, let alone anywhere near a busy road.

He is 27 now and I still get flashbacks.

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