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AIBU to be really cross with FIL for inviting people on our holiday?

(123 Posts)
SimileMilly Sat 26-Mar-16 12:12:25

We booked Centerparcs for later this year around 2 months after we are due or second child and have since invited FIL and his partner to come with us. They live about 2hrs away and we don't see them as often as MIL and my parents. It only cost £30 to upgrade our lodge to include them - they've not mentioned contributing to the overall cost but we invited them so I don't really expect it. FIL is not my favourite person but I like his partner and I'm sure I can tolerate him for the sake of a weekend.

FIL has just texted me to say they're really looking forward to coming and have invited his partner's two children too. Before I launch into a full on hormonal strop, that's not really on is it? They're 21 and 17 so not exactly children incapable of being left alone for a weekend. They have never come to any family events we've invited them to before. It will cost us an additional £460 to upgrade again to a 4 bedroom lodge and if nothing else DP has met them once and I've never met them! DP thinks I'm being unreasonable to say no. I don't think I am, but I understand my hormones might be impacting on my decision!

PennyHasNoSurname Sat 26-Mar-16 12:14:13

That is incredibly UR. I would ask him what arrangements he has made for their accomodation as the Lodge booked us not big enough to accomodate them.

Siolence Sat 26-Mar-16 12:14:22

I think you need to find out if he knows there is no space for them. He might be assuming there is.

mummymeister Sat 26-Mar-16 12:14:49

just say no. its a complete sentence. if they want to bring the other 2 then suggest that they book their own lodge sleeping 4. sounds like a couple of teenagers blagging a free holiday to me. don't do it.

ScoutsMam Sat 26-Mar-16 12:15:35

Just text back and say sorry no room in our cabin, if you want to book them a cabin it'll be £x for Xdays but with baby on the way you're not feeling up to organising it so they'll have to do it themselves.

They are so unreasonable but if your DH isn't on your side you're humped.

3littlefrogs Sat 26-Mar-16 12:15:44

I would just say that is fine as long as they book their own, separate accommodation.

OliviaBenson Sat 26-Mar-16 12:15:46

Yanbu. Just respond and say that there isn't any room in the chalet you have booked. It's a bit off of them to just assume. Could they book a separate chalet for them all as a compromise?

Yambabe Sat 26-Mar-16 12:15:56

If FIL is paying for them YABU. They are family, and no reason not to include them and get to know them.

If he's expecting you to stump up the extra then YANBU. If he wants them to come he pays for them.

GabiSolis Sat 26-Mar-16 12:16:27

Definitely unreasonable of them. The reasonable thing to do would've been to ask first and accept any answer they were given. This would change the whole dynamic of the break and I wouldn't like it. Especially as no money has been offered.

VimFuego101 Sat 26-Mar-16 12:16:36

YANBU at all. Just do what ScoutsMam suggested and leave them to sort it out.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 26-Mar-16 12:18:06

Two of my ds's are around this age, hell would freeze over before they'd want to go on this holiday! grin.

FiL needs asking about him paying up to include them, these extra two shouldn't be paid for by you.

I'd be miffed fucking furious and I'm not pregnant or a hormonal new Mum.

Marynary Sat 26-Mar-16 12:18:29

There is no way you should be expected to pay extra to accommodate his stepchildren. Just say that there will no be enough room in the lodge. If he wants to upgrade to a bigger lodge he needs to pay for it.

YANBU. As he has invited them, he should organise their accommodation. They are his guests, not yours. No idea about your finances, but we certainly couldn't have found an extra £460 to accommodate 2 virtual strangers just after our DD was born.

LIZS Sat 26-Mar-16 12:19:26

Agree, tell them to book separate accommodation as you can't change plans again (at that age would they even want to come?!) If you check availability beforehand and reassure yourself there is none suitable available so much the better.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Sat 26-Mar-16 12:19:30

Have you text him?

SimileMilly Sat 26-Mar-16 12:22:45

We definitely can't afford it either. I've sent a reply stating it would be X amount to upgrade again or £100 less than that of they were to book a studio lodge for themselves. I'm a bit of a wimp when it comes to confrontation (probably why he texted me and not DP!)

QOD Sat 26-Mar-16 12:23:35

Tell him there's no room. Cheeky cock

Sparkletastic Sat 26-Mar-16 12:32:20

That's breathtakingly entitled of FIL. What was the plan for food / drink expenses when you are there? Was he expecting a free ride all the way. Your DH is being a wuss.

NotNowPike Sat 26-Mar-16 12:34:36

Good for you OP . He's a cheeky fecker

MrsKCastle Sat 26-Mar-16 12:40:11

It's not just the cost, although that is incredibly cheeky in itself. It's also the fact that you'll have a new born and these are two young adults that you've never met. You won't want to be sharing a lodge with them, it's not as though the centerparcs lodges have loads of space if you want some privacy or to go for a nap.

It wouldn't be so bad if they book their own lodge, but even so it changes the dynamics of the holiday and FIL should have asked first.

ProcrastinatorGeneral Sat 26-Mar-16 12:55:13

Wow, that man has some serious balls.

Hope you get a decently apologetic reply and they either rethink or rebook.

ClarenceTheLion Sat 26-Mar-16 12:58:56

I'd be inclined to withdraw the invitation altogether tbh.

Wolpertinger Sat 26-Mar-16 13:03:26

No self-respecting 17 and 21 yr old want to go to Centre Parcs on holiday. Suspect he hasn't even asked them - or if he has they are currently wondering how they can get out of it?

Also make him communicate with DP, his actual child not you. He a) knows you are a wimp and b) is expecting you to do all the wifework.

Witchend Sat 26-Mar-16 13:07:58

Has he been to centre parks though? He may be assuming they can bed down on the floor so not costing more. You need to spell it out that that can't be done.

Very cheeky even if it could be done anyway.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sat 26-Mar-16 13:10:21

I think its fine as long as they absorb the extra costs. It's not if they don't.

My 19 and 16 year old DSes would still love a Centre Parcs holiday - so people shouldnt assume that they wouldn't want to go. (My 17 year old wouldnt though)

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