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AIBU to take what I paid for from cheating partner without discussion

(460 Posts)
Earworm Fri 25-Mar-16 16:09:51

My partner recently told me that he didn't feel invested in our relationship. I suggested that I move out for a short period to give us both some headspace. I suspected there was someone else involved and asked him, but he denied it. I found FB messages and photos that had been sent to him from this girl, and he still denied it. 4 days after I left (at this point we hadn't actually split up) I found out that he had gone out with the girl and slept with her. We went to a counselling session and he said he was committed to working things out, but he refused to cut contact with her, so I moved out permanently. I've arranged to move into an unfurnished flat.

His flat was a shell when I moved in. I bought a whole new freestanding kitchen to replace the 2 cupboards he had, got the bathroom tiled, had a shower fitted and got new lights fitted. I replaced his broken bed frame, we sold his sofa (he got the money) and bought a new one which I 'm still paying for. I lifted all the laminate in the living room and carried it down 3 flights myself and replaced it with carpet.

He's gone away this weekend with this new girl and when he comes back, he'll have relatives with him to stay as they have a family funeral. I feel like a heartless bitch to go in and take the sofa, the bed frame and a couple of the kitchen units. He'll have an armchair to sit on and a mattress to sleep on. And he also owes me £1500 for a credit card.

ImperialBlether Fri 25-Mar-16 16:11:40

Did you live there rent free and buy those things as an exchange for rent?

fuzzywuzzy Fri 25-Mar-16 16:11:41

I'd take every last stick of furniture I paid for without a qualm.

magoria Fri 25-Mar-16 16:13:00

If you have proof you paid for it all then it is yours to take with you.

Make sure you change all pins etc for the credit card & any other bank details you have just in case he knows them.

You may just want to send him a text while he is away to say you have moved out and taken all your stuff with you.


TubbyTabby Fri 25-Mar-16 16:15:16

oh mother of sweet divine jesus - i would swipe the whole lot.
all of it.
do you need help? i'll come round....

Birthgeek Fri 25-Mar-16 16:15:43

You still have a key? I would return to remove anything freestanding that I had paid / paying for by myself. I would let him know afterwards that this is what I had done though, ahead of his return, so he can make a plan for the relatives.

Though this is maybe at the risk of him refusing to pay back your £1500 debt you gave him...?

Earworm Fri 25-Mar-16 16:17:43

I paid half his mortgage every month, and paid for all the food and toiletries. He covered the council tax and other bills. And I cooked and cleaned for his lazzy ass

AdrenalineFudge Fri 25-Mar-16 16:17:55

I'm assuming your planning on taking the items because you don't think you'll get the £1500 payed back to you?

Fishface77 Fri 25-Mar-16 16:19:13

Fuck that!
Take everything you bought before he gets back and £1500 worth of stuff to cover the debt. You owe him nothing.

sooperdooper Fri 25-Mar-16 16:20:12

Do it, his lazy cheating arse issue, do you have anywhere to put all this stuff though?

JolseBaby Fri 25-Mar-16 16:21:00

Take it without a second thought. Just make sure that you have proof to show that you bought it (receipts, bank or credit card statements).

NeedsAsockamnesty Fri 25-Mar-16 16:23:03

Unless you purchased the items as gifts for him they belong to you

EatShitDerek Fri 25-Mar-16 16:23:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Earworm Fri 25-Mar-16 16:24:07

I've got the keys to an unfurnished flat. He thought I'd get a furnished one, but I don't see why I should sit on a scumbag sofa when I'm paying one up for him to sit on. I have the receipts for everything except the kitchen units as I got them on Gumtree/Ebay and I have keys to the flat.

19lottie82 Fri 25-Mar-16 16:24:55

OP, if I were in your shoes, it wouldn't even cross my mind not to!

Kelsoooo Fri 25-Mar-16 16:26:16


Seriously do it.

fuzzywuzzy Fri 25-Mar-16 16:26:31

Op do you have emails about the gumtree stuff? And corresponding bank withdrawals?

Take everything I would. You owe him nothing.

Fishface77 Fri 25-Mar-16 16:27:14

Do it quick before he gets back.

Eat shit! I like your style!!grin

Quodlibet Fri 25-Mar-16 16:27:57

Of course. Take the lot. I'd quite possibly take the whole of the kitchen and sell the bits I didn't need to go towards the £1500 debt that you are never going to see again.

PhoenixReisling Fri 25-Mar-16 16:28:15

Yep, take everything!

You paid for half the mortgage, food and cleaned for him......

You realise don't you that he was a cocklodger

Hissy Fri 25-Mar-16 16:28:23

Lids Derek? Leaving the kids is a
Little neglectful. 😂

Op, leave his house absolutely empty, no chair, no mattress, not even toilet roll or light bulbs.

Leave a note that says he's welcome to buy back his things on payment of £1500

EatShitDerek Fri 25-Mar-16 16:28:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sooperdooper Fri 25-Mar-16 16:28:48

If you bought stuff on eBay it's probably still showing in your items purchased, or you'd have got an email to confirm? In any case, you bought them and he's got nothing to show he did

nilbyname Fri 25-Mar-16 16:29:40

Do it, my god do it do it!

I'd strip the flat bare.

alltouchedout Fri 25-Mar-16 16:30:16

Take the lot.

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