to not like being called by my first name?

(119 Posts)
bbcessex Fri 25-Mar-16 12:50:44

Went into the bank during a work break to pay a cheque in. The cashier processed the cheque, then said "Thanks for that Jane*, all done."

Bank in question has done this before, must be their protocol.

I don't like it - it seems very over familiar to me. I don't mind being called 'Mrs. Smith*', or being called nothing at all, but I don't like being called by my first name in these situations. If its designed to make me feel more loved and welcome, it has the opposite effect on me.

AIBU or just plain weird?!

* not actual name grin

LionsLedge Fri 25-Mar-16 12:52:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Paulat2112 Fri 25-Mar-16 12:53:10

Yanbu unless they have asked if they can call you by your first name I think that's strange.

curren Fri 25-Mar-16 12:53:12

Is it not your name?

antiqueroadhoe Fri 25-Mar-16 12:53:16

I don't like it either.

I also don't like it when the bank ask if it's OK to call me "Antique". Sounds prissy to say, "No, could you call me Ms Roadhoe" but then they keep calling you Antique throughout the call and it really sets me on edge.

Next time I think I might say, "you don't really need to call me anything, I'm just sorting out a direct debit" ...

00100001 Fri 25-Mar-16 12:54:07

Most customer service people call me "madam" or ask what my name is to which ill reply "Mrs Smith" or they ask if its OK to call you "Jane"?

antiqueroadhoe Fri 25-Mar-16 12:54:31

It's like they're forcing a relationship which isn't there. Why don't they just call you Ms Essex and wait for you to invite them to call you by your first name?

Muskey Fri 25-Mar-16 12:55:47

I have the same feeling. Although for me I have the additional complication that I go by my middle name (not my choice) rather than my first name. So if somebody does use my first name I then have to explain that I use my middle name and quite often I have to explain why. I have got to the point where I just smile sweetly.

usual Fri 25-Mar-16 12:56:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DropYourSword Fri 25-Mar-16 12:57:41

I think it's actually quite old fashioned and stuffy to expect to be called Mrs / Miss Sword. Much prefer to be called Drop.

It's your name. I don't see the issue.

BlueCheeseandcrackers Fri 25-Mar-16 12:59:19

I find it very forced when they keep repeating your name "is there anything else I can do for you Jane?" "Thanks then Jane" hmm

antiqueroadhoe Fri 25-Mar-16 13:00:24

I think it's the regularity with which they use it. They don't need to use your name at all to complete a business transaction. Once you've gone through all the security questions they just need to ask "good evening, how can I help you this evening?"

Grannyspantry Fri 25-Mar-16 13:00:28

For some reason a while back my mobile phone bill is SMITH, Jane.

When I ring them they used to say 'hello Mrs Jane, may we call you smith?'

I just used to say yes ... grin

GabiSolis Fri 25-Mar-16 13:01:04

I really can't get annoyed by things like this. It's a bit of a nothing issue to me.

EssentialHummus Fri 25-Mar-16 13:03:21

I dislike the, "Good afternoon Hummus. Now, the reason we're calling Hummus, is to offer you a special blob on your thingamajig. We're offering this to you today Hummus, because we see you Hummus as a really valued customer to Blobs R Us, and we want to show you our true gratitude for choosing us as your blob supplier Hummus."

And so on. I presume they are sitting in front of some computer system that has inserted my first name into their script. Which is fine, but it makes me want to actually give my name as Hummus, or LadyFanjo, or MrsRaRaCupcake, on every online form etc I fill in. It doesn't make me warm to them.

Whether they call me by my first or last name doesn't really register TBH. They tend to mispronounce both equally, though. :/

RockUnit Fri 25-Mar-16 13:04:28

I think it's nice to address customers as Mrs/Ms/Miss/Mr. I don't find it stuffy, it feels respectful to me.

CosyNook Fri 25-Mar-16 13:06:32

I came on here to accuse you of being precious, but actually I totally agree.

It's over familiar, even rude.

If I'm a customer I want to called Mrs CosyNook.

CakeNinja Fri 25-Mar-16 13:06:42

I quite like it! Although strangely enough, i really hate my name and cringe when I have to say it out loud.

When I go to the gym, I swipe my card and often, whoever's on reception looks at the little screen which tells you who has just buzzed in and says "good morning Cake,* - I think it's nice! I always chirp back to them grin

Katedotness1963 Fri 25-Mar-16 13:06:53

I prefer my first name being used. My last name is, apparently, difficult to pronounce. If we go anywhere where the name has to be called out and see people looking at the book/computer/screen looking confused and asking someone else something, we know it's our turn.

Purplepixiedust Fri 25-Mar-16 13:07:26

I agree although I don't really like being called by name whether first or surname! I only use names to refer to people or get someones attention. I wish they woukd do the same to me! I know it is suposed to be polite to use a persons name but it sounds odd to me when people throw it into the conversation every two minutes!

Thewolfsjustapuppy Fri 25-Mar-16 13:08:57

I dislike being Mrs Puppy, I do not wish to be known as my husbands wife. So I always introduce myself with my first name only and prefer to be called that. I agree that using it once in any transaction is enough.

lalalalyra Fri 25-Mar-16 13:15:41

I hate when they use your name more often than necessary. Nobody needs to says "Hello Jane, how are you today Jane?... Do you have plans this evening Jane? What about in the holidays Jane? I'll just take this cheque from you now Jane and I'll get it processed... Right Jane that will be ready in 5 days, anything else I can help with Jane? No, ok, have a nice day Jane!"

It makes me shudder as one of my brothers had a girlfriend that did that when I was 13. Your name was part of every single sentence and it drove me insane.

Pipbin Fri 25-Mar-16 13:16:47

I hate it too.
But then I am old fashioned like that. I was always taught to call people older than me Mr, Mrs/Miss Lord or Lady whatever until they tell you otherwise. But then I think maybe we were old fashioned.
I've been married for 15 years but I still struggle to call MIL by her first name. To me it's as rude as not saying please or thank you.
It jars when I hear DC refers to friend's mums by their given name. Any adults that I was close enough to to call by their given name were always given the honorific title of Aunt and Uncle. In fact I call MIL's best friend Aunty.

angielou123 Fri 25-Mar-16 13:19:22

I don't think i'd mind that so much but what I hate is when I tell people my name is Angie (christened Angie) they then call me Angela like i've said my own name incorrectly. Also when a form is bein filled out and I say 'Angie' I can guarantee the next question is 'Is that short for Angela?' ARRRR

PuppyMonkey Fri 25-Mar-16 13:20:57

Those of you complaining that you hate the "yes, Jane" "anything else I can do for you today, Jane" types do know that it would just get turned into "yes Mrs Smith" "anything else I can do today, Mrs Smith?" confused

There are lots of things to get annoyed about in life, somebody using your actual name really shouldn't be one of them.

First names also avoids all that "call me Ms/Miss/Mrs" controversy.

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