Aibu over weekend away or are my friends?

(71 Posts)
Underdogsbollocks Thu 24-Mar-16 12:40:15

Me and my friends are in our last year of uni and to celebrate the end of exams decided to book a weekend away in a holiday cottage. There's 20 of us altogether so from the start we knew it would be hard to find a weekend we could all make it. As it turns out the one weekend the other 19 can do is the one weekend I can't as I go away with my boyfriend on the Monday (could do fri-sun). So I said it was fine just go without me, and that was that. They finally got round to booking the cottage last week and were told they would now have to vacate by 12pm on the Sunday, not the Monday thus meaning I could go as I would be back home by Sunday night. The accommodation has cost each person £38 for the two nights so I asked the group if they would all be happy for me to pay them back £2 each so I could come and we all will have paid the same (well I would have paid an extra £2 which I'm not bothered about). Everyone was happy with this arrangement apart from two of the girls who have said I made my decision not to come and I need to stick to it as it is going to mess up how much everyone has paid. Now I could understand this if it meant I had to pay everyone £20 or something but it's not, it's £2. AIBU in thinking they are being unreasonable for kicking up a fuss over £2 each or AIBU thinking I should be able to go?

Mari50 Thu 24-Mar-16 12:42:19

Those two girls don't like you!! Or they are just twisted.
Ignore them and go with the majority decision!!

AlpacaLypse Thu 24-Mar-16 12:43:05

Is there actually room for you there?

As for the money side of things - if one person is in charge of the booking and is happy with the maths, I wouldn't worry about what two people who appear to be clueless about sums think.

HackerFucker22 Thu 24-Mar-16 12:44:38

Are you sure it's just the accommodation costs? There were no other costs everyone had to absorb (travel? Hiring minibus for example?)

They didn't invite someone else to take your place?.

If it really is just for the sake of £2 per person yes it's very weird to object to you coming assuming there is room for you

AdrenalineFudge Thu 24-Mar-16 12:45:45

I don't think those two like you very much or either they've yet to calculate it so that they understand that your attendance wouldn't leave anyone out of pocket. These sorts of arrangements are always fraught when there's just a handful of friends let alone 20 people. Go with the majority.

BettyBi0 Thu 24-Mar-16 12:47:41

If there is room for you guys and they haven't offered your place to someone else then I can't see what their problem is.

Do you get on with these 2 girls normally?

Underdogsbollocks Thu 24-Mar-16 12:48:27

It's a cottage for 33 people so definitely room! And yes it is just the accommodation costs, 3 people are driving down (so 15 people across cars) and the other 4 are getting the train, I can drive so have said I come I will give the other 4 lifts to stop them getting 3 different trains. It is the two girls booking it who have a problem so can't really sort it without them being in agreement.

PegsPigs Thu 24-Mar-16 12:49:55

As others have said it's obviously not the money it's them/you (relationship) Ignore them because if 17 other people want you there then go!

Underdogsbollocks Thu 24-Mar-16 12:50:05

Betty, these two girls are supposedly two of my best friends.

Underdogsbollocks Thu 24-Mar-16 12:50:07

Betty, these two girls are supposedly two of my best friends.

BitOutOfPractice Thu 24-Mar-16 12:50:37

YANBU - they are though!

puddock Thu 24-Mar-16 12:55:01

Maybe they're just innumerate or have misunderstood.

WOuld they go for you giving them your £38 to spend on the food or drink kitty, would that make it more obvious that everyone's paying in the same for the weekend and nobody is losing out?

It's great that you can go after all, enjoy yourself!

londonrach Thu 24-Mar-16 12:56:30

Tbh although they being unreasonable (the two girls not you) i wouldnt bother going but i tend to avoid confrontation. Very strange from two of your best friends. Sounds like they dont like you, jealous etc.

Underdogsbollocks Thu 24-Mar-16 12:57:01

Puddock, that was what I originally suggested and they were against that so that's when I suggested I would pay everyone individually but apparently that still isn't good enough.

Imnotaslimjim Thu 24-Mar-16 12:59:59

They're being very peculiar. If you pay each person individually, what's the issue? It's not like you're making extra work for them. If anything you're making it easier if you're going to drive

MrsFrisbyMouse Thu 24-Mar-16 13:03:24

Organising a group trip is tedious.

They have probably spend hours trying to get people to agree to dates and then chasing for payments etc. Only for you to now try and change things at the last minute. This may well be the source of their annoyance,

Email them both - apologise and acknowledge all the work they have done so far and that you really would like to come.

Then instead of trying to give everyone back £2 - do what has been suggested above and suggest you put the money into a kitty to pay for things like drink/milk etc.

Underdogsbollocks Thu 24-Mar-16 13:03:47

So far, we have only talked in the big group message we have, do you think it would be worth messaging them privately or should I just leave it?

Purplepicnic Thu 24-Mar-16 13:05:35

Just reply and say 'what do you mean?' I'll bring a big old bag of pound coins and hand everyone £2, then we're all square. Seems dead easy to me?'

Can't argue with that, can they?

Underdogsbollocks Thu 24-Mar-16 13:05:45

X-post Mrs, if anything it is me who has done the majority of the hard work, I found the cottage (before realising I couldn't go) and I chased everyone up for their available dates, the only thing one of the girls has done is collected everyone's money.

Bluebolt Thu 24-Mar-16 13:08:03

Could it be that they are angry and they perceive that you put your boyfriend before them.

eddielizzard Thu 24-Mar-16 13:08:57

what purplepicnic said.

OnlyLovers Thu 24-Mar-16 13:09:29

Email them both - apologise and acknowledge all the work they have done so far and that you really would like to come.

Bollocks to apologising. Even if they had done the work, the OP isn't changing things in any way that's particularly inconvenient.

OP, I'd email them via the group email list. Shame them.

Fpmd1710 Thu 24-Mar-16 13:10:25

I think these other two are being extremely unreasonable, there is plenty of room for you and you're not going to be putting anybody out financially, if anything you being able to give the other 4 a lift down is actually a benefit. If these two were really friends they'd be happy you could now make it, and I think the other friends should be speaking up for you.
This is probably the last time you will all be able to spend time all together in a long while if it's your last year. Personally I wouldn't consider these girls very good friends anymore

MrsFrisbyMouse Thu 24-Mar-16 13:10:36

I totally get that Underdog - but it's all about perception. She thinks she has done a load of work in collecting the money - unless you can acknowledge that you are aren't going to get anywhere. And collecting money from x number of students is a pain in the arse I'm sure.

It doesn't matter who is right/wrong etc. Just acknowledge the hard work - take the wind out of the sails - and then you (should) be able to move forward.

otherwise you end up in entrenched you said/she said - I did more work than you/I did all the work type mentality.

OneLove10 Thu 24-Mar-16 13:11:32

I think they are being incredibly petty or just have some sort of issue with you.
If you are paying your way, there's more than enough accommodation and you are giving a few other girls a lift I can't see why they have a problem.

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