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136 Happy Birthdays

(26 Posts)
Stillbloodyfat Wed 23-Mar-16 19:38:51

Sil has had 136 happy birthday comments on her wall today all saying how wonderful and beautiful she is etc. Aibu for wishing I even knew that many people who cared enough to do that. She is so popular despite not even being a nice person. How do people do it?

I know it's silly to compare but I know I will possibly get a handful of messages from family and perhaps one or two old school friends but nothing like that. I'm a nice and friendly person or at least I try to be, where have I gone wrong?!! My closest friends have drifted off over the years and I have a few fellow mums who I get on with but that's about it. Is there a secret to being popular?

Stillbloodyfat Wed 23-Mar-16 19:40:23

Sorry the messages are on her Facebook wall!

embroideredbee Wed 23-Mar-16 19:42:03

you counted her Facebook birthday messages? hmm

MartinaJ Wed 23-Mar-16 19:42:38

Perhaps not being jealous of others? Spending time counting FB b-day wishes of somebody else does nothing for your own circle of people to love and appreciate.

Hamishandthefoxes Wed 23-Mar-16 19:44:24

I think it usually says 'you and 1.5m others have written on the wall' or whatever - not counting!

Op do tell me if you know the secret! I think it's mostly Facebook giving them reminders though, not actually them especially caring iyswim.

lessthanBeau Wed 23-Mar-16 19:45:18

You don't have to count them, it says on the post how many comments there are.

Stillbloodyfat Wed 23-Mar-16 19:46:06

I didn't count - Facebook said how many people had written on her wall - obviously they believe this is important information!

Patterkiller Wed 23-Mar-16 19:49:09

The popular people on Facebook are mostly that..popular on Facebook. They spend so much time being noticed on there that they aren't actually living in the real world.

YouMakeMyDreams Wed 23-Mar-16 19:49:27

You know what the majority of those 136 only know it's her birthday because Facebook told them not because she has a huge number of people that care about her. Honestly a few close friends are better than 1000 acquaintances.
I don't have my birthday visible on Facebook for this reason. I found the 100 happy birthdays a bit false. It wasn't because I'm popular it's because Facebook emailed all the people on my friends list and told them it was my birthday and I'm not bothered about the school mums or other less close people wishing me happy birthday they wouldn't even have known it was my birthday if they had to been told by Facebook anyway.
The people that did wish me happy birthday to my face were much nicer and that was most definitely just a handful of people.

Hamishandthefoxes Wed 23-Mar-16 19:49:28

It is - otherwise his could they make people feel competitive and inadequate.

I had no fb wishes. I was sulking until I realised I didn't put my birthday on. I've decided not to do I can use the same excuse next year!

Angelika321 Wed 23-Mar-16 19:50:00

Personally I don't get any birthday wishes on Facebook. But that's because I've intentionally hidden my birthday so no one gets the notification.

I find it almost embarrassing, but I'm not a birthday person and don't see the point of celebrating.

It's sad you feel she's more worthy than you just because she has so many messages. I don't necessarily think that's true though. It's more likely that she's very active on fb and all her friends list received the birthday notification which prompted the birthday wishes.

TheJiminyConjecture Wed 23-Mar-16 19:52:32

It depends how many friends she has surely? If she has 1000+ fb friends it's not as impressive as if she had 137. I'm not a big Facebook user, I don't often post and rarely write on people's walls. I know other people who use fb where I would send a text, they get messages on their wall. I get texts.

Also, fb isn't real it's better to have a few real friends who you can count on, rather than hundreds who you never talk to.

OneLove10 Wed 23-Mar-16 19:54:26

Fb does remind you about birthdays, it doesn't mean you have to 'like' it though.
I would say that 130+ made the effort to do that means she probably is a nice person and people do like her.

Gwenci Wed 23-Mar-16 19:54:35

Don't worry OP, it's in no way a true reflection of how liked or popular she is.

Some people will friend anyone and everyone on Facebook regardless of whether they'd actually speak to each other in real life.

Facebook then automatically prompts so-called 'friends' to write a birthday message. It takes all of 10 seconds to write 'Happy Birthday Hun!! xxx' (bet she got a lot of 'huns' right?!)

It's not real and definitely not worth getting even remotely worked up about.

IloveAntbuthateDec Wed 23-Mar-16 19:57:29

I have the grand total of 37 facebook friends. I only add people who realy are friends. No way on this earth do people have 3,000+ friends. Facebook should really have been called fakebook - People only add you to be nosy. They are not "friends".

gamerchick Wed 23-Mar-16 19:59:48

Facebook isn't real! If she had her birthday hidden she wouldn't have got so many.

Pico2 Wed 23-Mar-16 20:07:43

Some people feel obliged to post a birthday message to anyone they know on FB, others don't. She probably knows a lot of the former and does the same thing to them. You know more of the latter. You are just different types of people.

HanYOLO Wed 23-Mar-16 20:17:32

All this tells you is that she socialises on Facebook. And NOTHING about how much people care about her

Do you? If you've only got 43 friends on it and barely post anything then you will get fewer happy birthday messages than if you have 700 friends and you like all the nonsense they post.

Do not let this make you unhappy.

Cleebope Wed 23-Mar-16 20:28:09

Deactivated my account last week as I too was getting obsessed with birthday messages and likes and comparing myself constantly to others. And guess what? I already feel happier and more normal. And a few friends have actually texted me to make plans! And the sun hasn't fallen out of the sky. Your sil probably messaged those people on their birthdays so then people feel they have to reciprocate. It' s becoming too much. Try a deactivation for a while and see if you feel better for it like I do. I actually feel less stressy too.

likeawestern Wed 23-Mar-16 20:34:56

I only wrote birthday messages on fb to people I'm not close with. Good friends get a call or visit with a card. Fb birthday wishes mean nothing.

thebestfurchinchilla Wed 23-Mar-16 21:22:35

tomcruse Wed 25-Jan-17 11:54:07

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

amusedbush Wed 25-Jan-17 11:58:03

I always get dozens and dozens of facebook messages on my birthday. In actual fact, I have three real friends that I see with any regularity.

The facebook messages don't mean anything.

gamerchick Wed 25-Jan-17 12:02:18

Old thread bumped by a spammer

Paddington68 Wed 25-Jan-17 12:17:40

It's Facebook, not real life.
Maybe she has friended lots of people and spends time sending them birthday messages.
Would they do her shopping for her or let her spend the night if her house was flooded. It's not the number of friends, but the character that counts. So stop stalking her and get on with your day.

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