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To cancel DD birthday party?

(337 Posts)
TheresHopeYet Wed 23-Mar-16 07:15:59

DD is turning 4 and we have a party booked for her in two weeks time .

I handed out invites directly to parents 3 weeks ago with an RSVP date of TODAY!

I have not had a single RSVP. Not one . angry

It's school holidays here and I do not know the parents well enough to chase them up or have phone numbers etc .

The balance of the party is due today ; it's £140. I have already paid a £20 deposit which I will lose .

If I cancel after paying the balance I will lose the lot .

Would you cancel? I could use the money to take DD away for the weekend instead.

I am worried though that a load of people will turn up at the party and we won't be there blush

I need to decide today ! Help!

StealthPolarBear Wed 23-Mar-16 07:17:32

I suspect people will be going but school hols means they're being crap at replying.
I honestly don't know what to suggest sad do you not have any way of contacting any of them?

StealthPolarBear Wed 23-Mar-16 07:17:58

Oh and if rsvp was today I'd give it until the end of the day.

mommy2ash Wed 23-Mar-16 07:18:05

Have you any way of contacting any of kids parents? It's very rude to not RSVP but it happens a lot

TheresHopeYet Wed 23-Mar-16 07:20:22

No way at all of contacting them . sad

They don't really talk to me on the school yard (my child is the only one who doesn't have an older sibling in the school ). I don't know any of their names or which child belongs to which parent blush

ctjoy103 Wed 23-Mar-16 07:23:38

Oh no sounds like you need to cancel sad you won't be able to contact them anyway to confirm. And it being school holidays means most likely they are booked in somewhere already if parents are working.
Not nice to have ignored the invite.

DreamingofItaly Wed 23-Mar-16 07:24:26

It's a tough one. I'd be tempted to cancel the party too, it's so rude for people not to RSVP! It's a lot of money to lose that as you say you could use to go away with DD.

I'd suggest trying to contact the parents if there's any way you can, Facebook perhaps? If you don't get anyone then cancel and when you see them again, if anyone did go along, you can simply say you got no acceptances by the date requested so you cancelled.

Best of luck deciding!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Wed 23-Mar-16 07:24:29

If they turn up and you aren't there it's their own fault for not RSVPing, so if your DD will be just as happy to go away I would.

DreamingofItaly Wed 23-Mar-16 07:25:31

Cross post. You can't get hold of them so cancel. DD will enjoy the mummy time more I imagine!

Muskateersmummy Wed 23-Mar-16 07:26:09

Has she only invited school friends? Have you no outside friends which she has invited (or could be invited now?) seems a shame to cancel her birthday party.

skinoncustard Wed 23-Mar-16 07:27:43

Honestly---- if you could do it without upsetting your DD I would cancel it. If anyone turns up then tough! You are not a mind reader .
Extremely rude , but unfortunately it seems to be the way nowadays .

Only1scoop Wed 23-Mar-16 07:29:15

I'd actually be tempted to cancel also to be honest. Do you have any out of school friends going though? Does your dd know about the party?

I'd also be tempted to write some notes to ask teacher to pop in bags clarifying its cancelled.

lem73 Wed 23-Mar-16 07:30:06

If you handed the invitations directly to the parents, why do you think you can't go up to the same parents and follow up? I would be doing that today. If you're going to cancel it surely you'll have to inform the parents anyway. I always put a date by which I need the RSVPs btw. People might think two days before the party is ok.

Bunbaker Wed 23-Mar-16 07:33:25

I would cancel the party and leave a message at the venue to let anyone know who turns up to say the party has been cancelled as no-one had RSVP'd.

Not replying to an invitation is downright rude and thoughtless.

lilydaisyrose Wed 23-Mar-16 07:35:14

How did you hand out the invites if you don't know the parents and she's only 4? If you've no RSVPs, no-one has mentioned it to you and you have the invites to DD/nursery staff to hand out, I'd assume the invites are still sitting on a pile on someone's desk or in trays.

MattDillonsPants Wed 23-Mar-16 07:36:27

I wouldn't cancel OP. Have you checked on Facebook to see if there is a parent's group on there?

I have found that in SOME areas, RSVP-ing isn't seen as needed and people will just turn up.

DD knows about the party I assume?

Worriedlisa Wed 23-Mar-16 07:36:44

People are so rude.
I hate this party nonsense, children left out, ignorant parents.
Makes me v cross.
If I were you and your child won't be upset by you cancelling I would, imagine how upset she may be if you turn up at her party and nobody else does?

ThumbWitchesAbroad Wed 23-Mar-16 07:39:53

Cancel it.
If you can't get hold of them then you've no way of knowing if they're coming or not.

When does school go back? Before the party, I assume - so just make sure that you let them know in the playground that the party is not on due to lack of response. I wouldn't NOT tell them it's cancelled, that wouldn't endear you to anyone! So just let them know it's not happening now as no one replied.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Wed 23-Mar-16 07:41:11

Lem - the OP has said in her post that it's the school holidays, so no, she can't just go up to the parents as before.
She's also said that the RSVP date was today, so she's already done that and they still haven't replied.

goldensquirrel Wed 23-Mar-16 07:41:41

I would cancel and use the money for a treat. My Dd's 5to birthday is next week and we're using the money to have a short break in the Lake District and will be going to a specific attraction to do with Rabbits that she loves. Then again, my DD is very shy and was adamant she didn't want a party something I don't know if I should encourage her to overcome- I don't want her looking back asking why I didn't persuade her as the adult to get over this issue. Is your DD looking forward to it- she is young enough to put a spin on things and for you to make her feel a different day out is 'better' I think?

Yakari Wed 23-Mar-16 07:42:25

Hmm tough - if people do turn up and can't get in how will this impact your DD? I'm thinking of other kids who've been told they are going to her party, then when faced with being turned away think it's her fault. And yes I know it shouldn't been seen that way but it might be.
What's the party? Can you invite others from outside school and still be ok on numbers of everyone turns up? When are you back school will you have time to chase people up before the party?

lem73 Wed 23-Mar-16 07:44:46

Aah just re-read the Op. Still sleepy when I first read it. That's shitty behaviour from people. Ime there's often one who never replies but never this many.

MattDillonsPants Wed 23-Mar-16 07:45:55

Yakari has it in a nutshell OP.

TheresHopeYet Wed 23-Mar-16 07:47:10

I don't usually do pick up as DD goes to after school .

I had a rare day off so I collected her and handed invites out directly then - the parents definitely have the invites .

I can't wait until schools go back as the balance has to be paid today . I'll be livid if I pay another £140 and nobody turns up !

I don't have Facebook and I wouldn't know the parents names to contact them either .

I wish I'd never bothered sad

mummytime Wed 23-Mar-16 07:47:34

I would probably cancel. My DCs have had parties cancelled (which they had RSVPd to) due to ill health.

Do you not know anyone at the school? If you know one then you could see who they know and get the message out.
I would make sure that the reason you had to cancel gets out too.
But I would worry that the invitations hadn't made it, if you didn't hand them to the parents yourself (they could even still be in your DD's tray at school).

You do also really need to get to know the other parents, if only at a very superficial level.

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