OK this is my first ever post. I've been lurking for a while to get a feel for what folk post about and what kind of reactions to expect.
I'm prepared to be flamed and/or told to grow up/grow a backbone, but it's not quite as easy as that, so please be gentle!! And apologies for the very long winded post!
I work in the public sector (11years) in a small team with 3 other colleagues all of the same level.
I enjoy my job as it's quite interesting and varied but I cannot stand the dynamics within the team, between our female boss and another female team member.
They hero worship each other, for want of a better description.
This is not about me or the other 2 team members being jealous that she is the favourite - they are both older women and are entitled to be friends, but the lines seem to be very much blurred in terms of manager/junior staff relationship - and the rest of us are similar ages and good friends, but are fed up being treated like dirt.
To give a bit more background as to why it's so perplexing for us that they're so close....favourite team member is an abrasive and aggressive woman with a smart, cheeky loud mouth, and who on several occasions, has had to formally apologise to other staff in the department for the way she has spoken to them. She shouts across the dept, interrupts and talks over folk when they are speaking, cracks racist jokes and swears like a sailor.
If anyone stands up to her to challenge behaviour, female boss turns a blind eye and/or claims she saw and heard nothing.
A recent occurrence was when a senior manager asked favourite to do something for him and she snapped his head off and spoke to him like a piece of shit, telling him she was far too busy.
Female boss was sitting right beside her but got up and walked away, leaving us and senior manager gobsmacked.
SM then emails female boss threatening to take things further as wasn't prepared to take that shit, and she leaps into action and sits with favourite to dictate a written apology, all the while maintaining that she heard nothing and didn't think an apology was necessary!
Going back a year or so, the morale within the team was at an all time low due their behaviour and while we were stuck in a very small office where you could cut the tension with a knife. Myself and other 2 got to the point where we couldnt be arsed speaking to favourite unless it was work related and necessary, as things were being twisted and shit was being stirred by her, when lo and behold we all individually get pulled up by female boss and accused of bullying favourite by excluding her!!
We've since moved locations and are now in a massive open plan dept, so there is no atmosphere now thankfully, but female boss decided the seating plan and sat the 2 of them side by side, and all they do is whisper to each other, give each other knowing looks and make reference to things that only they know about, that the rest of the team are excluded from.
Favourite seems to be of the opinion that she is somehow now deputy manager and speaks to us like we're idiots and if any of us dare to speak back to her, she looks at female boss for backup. Just waiting for the bullying card to be played again, when it's become blatantly obvious that the 'bullied' has very much become the bully...or one of them at least!
Starting to hate going to work which is really sad as I hoped it would be a job for life.
DP who also works in same dept and knows this pair, tells me to tell them to fuck off/threaten HR/grievance proceedings, but it's not easy when it's your boss you're challenging as she could make life (even more) unbearable...and also has pals within HR, so how seriously would they take it...just don't know how to deal with it all, as feel my card would be marked if I took it further.
Help!!
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
AIBU to be pissed off in work?
10 replies
JustineBeaver · 22/03/2016 20:55
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.