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to not want to learn to swim?

(71 Posts)
VelvetSpoon Tue 22-Mar-16 18:10:51

And also to want not to be pestered about it?!

I'm in my 40s. Never been able to swim. Don't particularly like water. Not an issue. Both my DC are great swimmers and learnt in primary school.

However my boyfriend thinks it's important i learn, and often prompts me about it. How it's good exercise etc. Now he also nagged me about learning tp drive which i have given in about and am having lessons.

But I don't want to be pestered about swimming, either by him or his DC who also comment about the fact i can't swim and don't like water.

I feel like this doesn't impact anyone else and is my business...aibu??

KathySelden Tue 22-Mar-16 18:13:13

It depends are you going on any boats soon?

PacificDogwod Tue 22-Mar-16 18:15:26

YANBU to want him to mind his own bees wax.

YABU to not want to learn to swim grin

I know, I am not helping, am I? I admittedly love water and swimming…
I think there are 2 questions here: one about swimming, and one about your relationship. Tricky one.

lljkk Tue 22-Mar-16 18:19:01

Are you getting regular exercise?
Wouldn't you feel safer if you could basically tread water or swim 50m?

Sparklingbrook Tue 22-Mar-16 18:38:04

I think everyone should learn to swim.

But it sounds like you have a boyfriend that nags.

trixymalixy Tue 22-Mar-16 18:46:09

I also think it's important to learn to swim. What if for example you're on holiday and one of the DC gets in to difficulty in the swimming pool? You wouldn't be able to help them.

newmumwithquestions Tue 22-Mar-16 18:51:17

Holiday swimming pools are often shallow so if OPs children were in trouble OP could still jump in, or throw line/inflatable, etc.

I also think everyone should learn to swim smile but I'm not you and youre entitled to your opinion. Your choice. YANBU

Greydog Tue 22-Mar-16 18:53:00

I can't swim, and part of me is sorry that I can't, but I hate swimming baths. The smell makes me sick, and I think it's the result of being forced into swimming lessons from school. Obviously they never worked and just gave me a fear of water. I took my son to classes, and just watching him from the side made me feel sick. Happily he never picked up on it and is a good swimmer

VelvetSpoon Tue 22-Mar-16 18:53:12

My DC are 15 and 17. Both are excellent swimmers so unlikely to get into any difficulty. The elder is much bigger than me so if he did I'm not sure I could help him anyway.

No plans to go anywhere on a boat. If I did (I've been on many boats over the years, including speedboats, dinghy's, little rowboats etc) I'd just concentrate on not falling in.

Would I feel better? Not really. It's like any other skill you don't use or need to use daily - it doesn't assume much importance. I've never wanted to learn, nor never thought how amazing it would be if I could swim.

I go to the gym for 2 hours a week currently. What with work, driving lessons, counselling, I don't have time to do more than 2 hours at present - previously I was doing 4-5 a week. Which i think was enough.

Cutecat78 Tue 22-Mar-16 18:57:04

Everyone should learn to swim - it's the only sport that if you cannot do it you could die (fall into a river - going on a boat - swept out to sea).


VelvetSpoon Tue 22-Mar-16 19:00:54

I've lived 43 years not being able to swim though.

I don't want to learn. Is it not up to me if I do or not?

Sparklingbrook Tue 22-Mar-16 19:06:02

I would like to be able to think if someone got into trouble in the water I could try and help them because I can swim.

You can concentrate on not falling off a boat but doesn't mean it won't happen.It could sink on its own.

You seem to have made your mind up though so it's all academic what anyone else thinks.

LifeofI Tue 22-Mar-16 19:22:11

You better hope you arent ever stranded in the ocean

EastMidsMummy Tue 22-Mar-16 19:25:30

I learned to swim in my early 30s when my youngest son was learning. I'd never mastered it as a kid and suddenly it seemed bizarre that my 3 y.o. could do it and I couldn't. I was so proud to finally be able to do it, I love the exercise and all the burden and embarrassment of a childhood not being able to swim melted away.

However, if my holiday ferry sinks in the middle of the Channel, there's no way I will reach dry land. There's really no need to worry about swimming for safety if you don't do water sports or live next to a canal

lljkk Tue 22-Mar-16 19:26:01

are you just generally stubborn about a lot of things, Velvet?

ctjoy103 Tue 22-Mar-16 19:28:41

Yanbu, I can swim but as soon as I enter the water I immediately just panic and forgetconfused
Have been on many beach holidays and saw no need to venture far out into the water.
I have a pool at home and never really appealed to me to go swimming.
Some people just don't like the water, I don't think swimming is something that's absolutely necessary.

MatildaTheCat Tue 22-Mar-16 19:32:11

YANBU. I am a very strong swimmer and under no illusion that woman vs sea is ever a contest won by woman wink . Those who think they will manage to swim ashore from a shipwreck are mostly kidding themselves.

However it might, just might be something you could enjoy if you opened yourself to the experience. Clean, quiet pool with warm water and no kids is bliss IMO so I can't really understand how anyone could hate it but each to their own.

RortyCrankle Tue 22-Mar-16 19:32:16

So don't.

trixymalixy Tue 22-Mar-16 19:33:14

Newmum I would say at least 50% of the pools I've been in recently have had a part that's out of my depth. And even though they're 15 and 17 and strong swimmers, they could still do something like diving in and hitting their head.


LetThereBeCupcakes Tue 22-Mar-16 19:36:31


I can't swim. DS loves his swimming lessons so he's sorted.

If you want a useful, lifesaving skill do a first aid certificate. Far more useful in my opinion.

LetThereBeCupcakes Tue 22-Mar-16 19:38:37

Life what are you going to do if stranded in the ocean? Swim to sure? Really? How far can you swim in freezing water?

LetThereBeCupcakes Tue 22-Mar-16 19:39:07

Shore! Not sure. blush

MamaMary Tue 22-Mar-16 19:43:00

A baby's life was saved this week because a man knew how to swim.

Not saying you're BU though OP. For centuries, most people couldn't swim.

SewButtons Tue 22-Mar-16 19:44:14

Yanbu, I also can't swim and although I would like to be able to in theory I have no actual inclination to take lessons and learn.
I do think it's an important skill though and will be making my children learn (dp is a strong swimmer so that'll be his job when on holidays etc with pools) .
If neither of us could swim then I wouldn't be comfortable and probably would take lessons so that I could supervise children in the water because I wouldn't want them to miss out on that.
But as your DC are older then yanbu to not want to learn. Tell your DP to mind his own business.

VelvetSpoon Tue 22-Mar-16 19:45:44

Not sure if I'm stubborn but I do know my own mind. Not sure that's the same thing.

I understand the reasons why swimming could be useful. However, I also don't want to.

I've started driving lessons after much asking. Although not convinced I'll ever pass, I can see the point of it. And learning keeps the peace, not sure how long our relationship would have lasted if I hadn't conceded this one.

But having done so, I think he should give it a rest about swimming. It should be my choice and I shouldn't have to be nagged about it. Surely that's not U?

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