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AIBU to ask for her to pay?

(113 Posts)
Skala123 Tue 22-Mar-16 16:15:18

I have a friend with the same age DD as my DS. We are close friends. We occasionally help each other out by having the kids.
Recently she asked me to have her DD and on that day I had planned to take DS for a day out to a place with a pretty hefty entrance fee. I said of course I'd have her but could I have the entrance money and a packed lunch. I have been absolutely vilified! Who is being U?

0phelia Tue 22-Mar-16 16:16:49

OMGosh. YANBU Your mate is taking the piss.

DextersMistress Tue 22-Mar-16 16:17:39

She is of course! Cheeky mare. What did she say?

MrsBobDylan Tue 22-Mar-16 16:18:08

She is. I would find a new friend.

TealLove Tue 22-Mar-16 16:18:09

I woudn't ever ask for entrance fee if I was taking a child anywhere but that would be at my invitation.
Hmm she asked you didn't she? Little different circumstances. I would have probably expected her to offer.
Who has vilified you?

Uptownfuckuup Tue 22-Mar-16 16:18:10

she is
if she wants you to have her dd and you have plans with your ds and she is welcome to go and you are willing to take her along why should you be out of pocket

ollieplimsoles Tue 22-Mar-16 16:18:25

Well, you already had the plans, you are doing her a favour, if course she should pay for her dd to be involved or find other means of childcare.

Yanbu op and you know it

Collaborate Tue 22-Mar-16 16:18:28

It depends on what has gone on in the past, and how much the entrance fee is. Has your friend paid for your son to get in to places in the past?

Too little information.

bornwithaplasticspoon Tue 22-Mar-16 16:20:21

Yanbu if your friend hasn't treated your ds to a similar day out in the past.

Tinofsardines Tue 22-Mar-16 16:20:30

Wow she's cheeky blush

What did she say? I'd struggle to find fault with your reasoning there!?

AppleSetsSail Tue 22-Mar-16 16:21:39

How much is the entrance fee?

AppleSetsSail Tue 22-Mar-16 16:22:02

And, by whom have you been vilified?

MirandaWest Tue 22-Mar-16 16:23:47

Did she know that you were planning to take your DS out when she asked if you could look after her DD?

DancingDinosaur Tue 22-Mar-16 16:24:46

Its not unreasonable unless she has paid for your dc to get in expensive places previously and not asked you for money.

icklekid Tue 22-Mar-16 16:26:57

Could you give her the option of paying for her ds to come or not being able to help? If you did want to help could you take your dd another day? Hard without knowing if your friend can afford it or not I guess!

rollonthesummer Tue 22-Mar-16 16:27:10

Did she know you were planning to go to that event when she asked you?

Did she say-can you have Bob on the first Monday of the holidays? And you said yes. But then three weeks later you said-'oh, by the way, I'm going to Legoland-can you give me £35'

Or-did she ask you to have the child to which you you replied with-I'm actually taking X to Legoland that day, but if you pay his entrance costs, he could come with us?'

The devil is in the detail, I expect.

lessthanBeau Tue 22-Mar-16 16:27:56

Even when I've offered to take DDS friends to places, I've never had one parent not offer entrance fees even when I've said it's my treat!
Who are all these cheeky buggers? I've never come across such bad manners in RL as some of the stories I read on mn.

Cabrinha Tue 22-Mar-16 16:29:53

More info needed really.
On the face of it, sounds bad. But if you have a good income and she has previously taken your child to similar, could be a different situation.

I'm a bit confused that you asked for a packed lunch tbh! I'd always pay entrance and send some money for my child to treat everyone to an ice cream - and I'd ask what to do about lunch (money for café...) but if I was doing the childcare, no way would l ask a friend to send a packed lunch! I find that odd and makes me think there's more to this.

YakTriangle Tue 22-Mar-16 16:32:31

Sounds perfectly reasonable providing she isn't always taking your DC out and paying for everything.

Hissy Tue 22-Mar-16 16:33:17

Villified? By whom?

What has happened.

In your shoes I'd have said, no, can't have your dc as we are off to £xxx-land that day.

toobreathless Tue 22-Mar-16 16:37:52

Good friends of ours had my DD at very short notice as our nanny was ill.

They had planned to go swimming.

I sent admission money for DD plus her friend, a packed lunch and a post swimming snack for both children.


toobreathless Tue 22-Mar-16 16:39:20

Packed lunch for just DD! Nice snack for both, sorry not clear .

BabyGanoush Tue 22-Mar-16 16:41:00

I would always offer a child lunch/food.

But might have asked for entrance fee to theme park (or whatever it is)

Unless she has taken your DC out places loads?

OnlyLovers Tue 22-Mar-16 16:41:20

Vilified by whom?

And I don't know if you're BU or not, really. If you invited the child to come with you then I think you should pay and feed them. But if you said 'Well, it's just that we're going to x place that day' and she said 'Oh, that's fine, you can just take my DD with you' then it's perfectly reasonable for you to have asked for the entrance fee and packed lunch.

Although to save the hassle of it all, you could have just said 'I can't have her that day as we're going out.'

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon Tue 22-Mar-16 16:41:43

Who vilified you?

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