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To expect to XH to be prosecuted over the £80,000 he owes in child support?

(348 Posts)
CreviceImp Tue 22-Mar-16 09:09:30

Bit of background. My XH has refused to pay child support for years. The CSA have been ineffective to say the least. There have been a couple of occasions whereby he has had some attachment to earnings made and payments have happened but not for years. I have given up my career as a teacher because I have a severely disabled child (and two others to care for) and have been her carer for years.He currently is self employed as a haulage driver.

The last conversation I had with the CSA (or whatever moniker they are currently using) I was told they couldn't find a firm address for him. I found one and passed it on but they said they needed absolute confirmation and they couldn't get it. I received a letter last week stating they had written to him to let him know he no longer had to pay <cough> child support but his arrears still stood. Seems they have an address after all.....

Having got my MP involved to no avail and written/contacted them numerous times AIBU to expect that he now be imprisoned for the years of what amounts to child neglect? He has refused to share the care let alone the financial burden.

AIBU to ask what this government is going to do to deal with this ongoing inequality towards women and children? I see no social justice.

VertigoNun Tue 22-Mar-16 09:11:13

It's child abuse. I will sign a government petition if you start one.

scarednoob Tue 22-Mar-16 09:16:57

My uncle, who continued to pay child support despite being denied access by a vindictive ex for years, maintains that the CSA only chase easy cases.

flowers for you. Your ex is despicable not to support his children.

FayKorgasm Tue 22-Mar-16 09:22:24

Its about time parents who do not pay child support are severly punished. I don't think prison would work as it would affect ability to work and thus lowering the possibility of repayment. Maybe some sort of community service where their friends and neighbours could see that they are deadbeats would work. A public shaming.

LettingAgentNightmare Tue 22-Mar-16 09:29:03

The CSA is useless. They chased my Dad for every penny despite my 'Mother' refusing to let him see us.

It's not pay per access by any means, but it's funny how they manage to get the money off a man who didn't get to see his children but can't manage it with parents who still have regular contact with their children, but go self employed.

Mellowautumn Tue 22-Mar-16 09:48:22

Its theft and and child abuse and should be treated as such. We need a seachange in society around this.

novemberchild Tue 22-Mar-16 09:58:48

I haven't seen a penny for disabled DD 19 since she was 7. The old self-employed trick.

Eliza22 Tue 22-Mar-16 10:00:47

Despicable. Clearly, has no moral conscience.

My ex lied for 8 years about his salary having never increased. He was happy to have conned DS out of cash so he'd have more to spend on his lifestyle.

startrek90 Tue 22-Mar-16 10:01:46

Deadbeat parents should be charged with child neglect. It's disgusting what they can get away with. You try not repaying a bank or the government 80 grand and see what happens to you but these wankers can squirm out of paying their kid?

Nope when I rule the world every deadbeat parent will be sued for the missing money and failure to repay will result in criminal convictions for child abandonment and neglect and a permanent mark on credit record. They should be forced to declare that they are scum who starve their kids every time they want credit.

Scumbags the lot of them.

My dad was ordered to pay £20 a month for three kids (1 with disabilities) and he never bothered once. Left my mum working three jobs and let her nearly kill herself to provide for us.

VertigoNun Tue 22-Mar-16 10:03:23

BoatyMcBoat Tue 22-Mar-16 10:11:17

FayKorgasm, bring back the stocks? It would be fun to throw rotten veg at a deadbeat parent....... grin

Seriously though, I would certainly sign a petition to make absent parents pay the child support they owe. The Gov needs to 'man up' (huh!) and we do need a sea change in society as a whole. The attitude to women is shocking in the 21st century.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Tue 22-Mar-16 10:12:06

100% agree with you. It's all too easy for those that can go self employed to do so simply to shirk their responsibilities.

CreviceImp Tue 22-Mar-16 10:17:53

Thanks everyone for your support flowers

I am thinking about going down that petition route but am struggling on how to phrase it and would welcome some suggestions.

BitOutOfPractice Tue 22-Mar-16 10:19:47

I think it's a national scandal that so many parents fail to pay for their kids. It must cost the country millions to help support the resident parent as well.

I am always amazed that a government doesn't really get to grips with this. They are so keen to chase, vilify and punish "benefits cheats" aren't they - but I'd wager that this is a far bugger problem

Realfootyfan Tue 22-Mar-16 10:26:57

Surely it needs to be connected to the tax system. He should just be taxed more to cover the arrears. Then the CSA would just need to be an enforcement body to bring prosecutions.

As for vindictive exes, they are just as bad and should lose child support. Obviously there can be problems with abusive exes but that's a separate issue.

So sorry you've had to manage all these years OP.

VertigoNun Tue 22-Mar-16 10:28:14

Have an attempt at the three sections and we can help amend your words.

TwoKettles Tue 22-Mar-16 10:31:43

I'll sign too, and know that most of my facebook contacts will too - this could change lives halo

Fratelli Tue 22-Mar-16 10:38:41

I would definitely sign and share a petition. It's disgusting that people get away with not paying for their children. You would be in jail if you hadn't have clothed or fed your children, why should a punishment not apply to him for effectively doing that? It is neglect.

peggyundercrackers Tue 22-Mar-16 10:42:14

is there going to be a petition to punish vindictive ex's for the many things they put some fathers through?

DelphiniumBlue Tue 22-Mar-16 10:47:13

Yes to RealFooty 's idea of attaching child support to tax. The inland revenue seem to have no problem chasing people for unpaid tax, to the point of bankruptcy. I feel sure they could get reluctant parents to pay.
And yes, I would sign a petition, how can people get away with abandoning their children?

Pootles2010 Tue 22-Mar-16 10:47:36

peggy well volunteered. Perhaps you could start your own thread?

0dfod Tue 22-Mar-16 10:50:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Duckdeamon Tue 22-Mar-16 10:54:00

That's a separate issue, and there is legal recourse.

VertigoNun Tue 22-Mar-16 10:58:01

It is because of our sex.

OP, you need five to help start the petition and I am happy to be one.

BlackeyedSusan Tue 22-Mar-16 11:05:45

If I were to stop paying anything for the children social care would be round here quicker than a rat up a drainpipe and I would be prosecuted for child neglect.

Yet some absent parents can get away with it for years.
(dc's dad does at least pay)

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