aibu - supposedly left wing parents in London

[jimmyjoejamtoe]

Who run screaming to the home counties "because of schools?"

You know the type, having moved FROM the home counties after uni to London, then spend the rest of their twenties in London feeling smug at how "wonderfully diverse, edgy" everything is in London with a sneer at "middle England" but then...

..they go private...
...move to somewhere bland and safe...
when kids their kids arrive.

Hang on, you've changed your tune.

Aibu to feel a little peeved at these metropolitan types as they empty smugly from my area/go private?

[ollieplimsoles]

[Andrewofgg]

You only get one chance with your children and I can't blame anyone who does their best. Not even Diane Abbott.

My sister and BIL were teachers, retired now, and while they did not go private - never on the cards - or move - their local schools were excellent - they brought up their DC to value learning, the house was full of books, no TV in bedrooms, all the things that people like that do. It's no different.

[MrsSteptoe]

No, you're not really unreasonable to pick them up on it, but you would be unreasonable to really genuinely dislike them because lots of nice people have gone through precisely this transition and can laugh at themselves! We're all nobs in our twenties and suddenly realise that we might have to make compromises in our thirties... or should i now be saying I'll get my coat?

[jimmyjoejamtoe]

"you know this area, is just like sooo awesome. It's a real community with such diversity, so many different kinds of people. We all help and support each other its just so much more interesting and vibrant than most places in England."

"sounds great. So, what school will your kids go to locally?"

"LOL - we'll be long gone by then. You have to think of their future, after all".

Yuck.

[EverySongbirdSays]

That isn't the sole motivator for a lot of people though. I'm a Northerner, but my friends left London to rent a better place, then to be able to buy. Buying in London is near impossible and buying is part and parcel of putting down roots alongside choices of school.

[Dapplegrey1]

You are nbu!
Have you asked them how they square their left wing views with educating their children privately?
We know someone who stood as a candidate for the Green Party - whose education policy is to stop all selective schools and remove public schools' charitable status - and his son is now at one of the most famous and elite boys public schools.

[MrsSteptoe]

Lots of places that I enjoyed living as a young woman were not places I'd particularly want to raise children. I don't really see that an urban, interesting, vibrant place where I had a good time when I was 25 by definition has to then be the same place that I'd commit to raising a family. I do understand the point you're making, OP, but I think it doesn't really hold water.

[bonnyisfat]

Love it Jimmy!

[bakingaddict]

Why the fuck do you care where and how people choose to educate their kids. You seem overly emotionally invested in this. People change with time and circumstances it's up to them

[Arpege]

Why do people have to live in the same place all their lives?

What you want in your 20s isn't the same as what you might want in your 30s or 40s is it?

[MrsSteptoe]

I think I'd prefer Labour voters with children in private education to continue to vote Labour than not. Frankly, I'm not so squeamish or particular that I won't take votes for Labour where I can get them.

[MrsSteptoe]

*Sorry, badly phrased. I'm not a politician, obviously. I mean I'd prefer to see more votes for Labour irrespective of the educational choices of those casting them.

[ApocalypseSlough]

It's certainly a massive disconnect. London schools across the board get better results than home counties ones yet still people
move out. London is tiring though. Unless you have a very good income life's easier just outside. I think the schools thing is a bit of a red herring.

[thecatfromjapan]

By default, I have met very few parents like this.

I suspect you are in the grip of a cliche.

Far, far more common is the modern, real cliche of people having to move because they can't afford to rent/buy.

Seriously, people who can afford to buy in 'edgy' areas of London are pretty well- off these days. There are very few poor schools in London - as a whole, it performs above the national average.

You need to update your cliche.

[ApocalypseSlough]

^^ mrs educating your children privately is sudden death for any political aspirations. Moving to a £million pound house in the country where the schools are monocultural goes unnoticed.

[Maudofallhopefulness]

I loved living in London. I'd still be there now if I wasn't a parent. As soon as children arrive, unless you're loaded, you soon get over living in a shoebox flat with no room for buggies and no parking anywhere nearby.

[AMouseLivedinaWindMill]

We know someone who stood as a candidate for the Green Party - whose education policy is to stop all selective schools and remove public schools' charitable status - and his son is now at one of the most famous and elite boys public schools

Doesn't surprise me, I know champagne socialist campaigned HARD for comps, then sent all his DC to private BOARDING SCHOOLS.

[gameofhighchairs]

jimmyjoejamtoe
Welcome to London.

[LynetteScavo]

Hmmm....I dunno.....I was happy to live in London in my 20's, but the moment I got pregnant with DC one I was back in my home town, which I had declared only a few years earlier tragic and sad. At one point I even considered it cruel on my parents to raise me in a town with no cinema.

But with houses at a fraction of London, but still within 50 minutes by train, and a plethora of "outstanding" primaries I wasn't actually going to raise my DC in London. We get far, far more for our money 70 miles away.

I do know a lot of people who sold up or are now renting their london flat and live comfortably in the suburbs with me. It's a mother duck thing. You look for the best place to raise your ducklings.

[DontCareHowIWantItNow]

Have you asked them how they square their left wing views with educating their children privately?

Maybe start by asking the Labour MPs that do this the question first?

[SqueegyBeckinheim]

I live in (and come from) one of the towns all the London "refugees" run to. House prices are though the roof and school places are at a premium. It's a grammar area so private is usually the second choice, only considered if the child doesn't do well enough in the 11+.

Seeing it from the PoV of what's happened to my town YANBU.

[KathyBeale]

I live in London and my kids won't be educated privately (easy to stay true to my socialist principles when I am skint). But just wanted to say I am v left wing and growing more so with age and I could not care less about private schools. Don't care if they exist, don't care who sends their kids there. It has nothing to do with me. I do care about state faith schools, I am sickened by all schools becoming academies, and I am currently wrestling with my mixed feelings about grammars. But private? Meh. It's irrelevant. If people can afford it, good luck to them. Not all private schools are better than state schools so why should I care?

[thecatfromjapan]

I wonder where affordable, really edgy London is these days? Not Peckham. Croydon, perhaps?

[Arpege]

then spend the rest of their twenties in London feeling smug at how "wonderfully diverse, edgy" everything is in London with a sneer at "middle England" but then...

they go private...
move to somewhere bland and safe...
when kids their kids arrive.

I'm a bit confused by this as you need sooooo much more money to live in London than everywhere else that then by definition your London remaining left wingers are lots more loaded than you're ones who have moved out. So how does living in a million quid house make you more Left?

My brother is a left wing London living family man. Except his family home is frigging tiny and is worth more than half a million. Not very down with the suffering masses is it? He can reckon he's as edgy as he likes but he's the tosser buying spelt bread and spending £50k on a loft conversion, not me

[Kennington]

Er yes I did this - from se11 to bucks. It was actually for work but I did go private so I meet your criteria perfectly.
I don't know what to say really as am a leftie too.
I miss South London a lot and would move back if I had a job there again.