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To think there's got to be more to life??

(9 Posts)
Prettylittleliar99 Sun 20-Mar-16 14:44:04

Bit of a rant, I so need to vent. Im early 30s not working currently (although I am a pt student) I have a teen with moderate asd, and tbh life is hell. Not sure what's going to happen financially with the benefit cuts, currently live In a poor area (local auth housing) and also currently single. I feel absolutely bloody stuck. My daughter has few friends as do I, I have one friend and he currently can't do an awful lot due to a limiting medical condition, so I can't see him that much but without him I'd go mad as he does support me. My X partner is/was abusive, he was my only relationship and I don't have that healthy model as my father was also abusive/ alcoholic. I only get limited time to myself as my X only has a one bed so when she stays she's on the couch which isn't fair as she's growing. It's draining with a child with Sen, it feels she will always be childlike when you see other children the same age becoming independent . Also I have no family support. I'm trying to alleviate myself out of poverty by studying and I'm looking at all my assignments in tears as I don't know where to start. I would love to have a career, a nice home (even if it was just a rented one, I don't feel safe here crime is high) and a loving partner/husband. Instead I have been used for sex. Feels horrid. All my friends are coupled up and either don't go out, or they go out with friends of their partners. I'm literally left behind and Facebook only makes it worse with that reposting thing that's doing the rounds, if you have a guy that's perfect for you etc etc. Thanks for reading any thoughts considered.

Prettylittleliar99 Sun 20-Mar-16 15:23:34


Sidge Sun 20-Mar-16 15:32:44

I really feel for you. Life can be difficult and it's not helped by being a single parent, having a child with SN and being broke. flowers

What are you studying? Will it lead to employment or further prospects? If so try and look at the bigger picture (easier said than done, I know). Think of life like a ladder - at the moment you may feel like you're on the bottom rung but the only way is up.

Get your qualifications.
Get a job.
Get some money in the bank.
Move into a nicer area.
Aim to meet people through a club or activity, or by volunteering or getting involved in your child's school for example.

I understand feeling overwhelmed, I really do (I was a single parent of 3, one with significant SN, an enjoyable job but limited by my commitments, no support, only one weekend a month "off", renting, watching the pennies and to be honest quite lonely.) Try and look at what you do have, rather than what you haven't and make the most of opportunities that come your way. I don't mean to sound patronising, honestly, but try and look at the long game and not just the here and now.

mellowyellow1 Sun 20-Mar-16 15:36:15

Sorry to hear you're struggling so much, life does sound pretty tough for you at the moment. But things can only improve. You're already making steps by studying, even if you think you can't do it you must have been accepted on the course for a reason. Why not try and tackle the first assignment in small steps? You won't know if you can do it until you try....

As for Facebook, ignore it, people only post about the good stuff in their lives! It's not an accurate representation of real life.

Do you get time to exercise? I know it must be hard with a teen, but can improve your mood so much and gives you a chance to meet other people through a shared hobby.

I really hope things pick up for you, it sounds like you deserve for things to turn around.

Nothing is ever perfect obviously but if you can find a few good things in your life then you can build from there.

TwentyCupsOfTea Sun 20-Mar-16 15:53:33

flowers well done in studying, focus on that - it WILL provide a better life and you are being a great role model to your daughter!

Prettylittleliar99 Sun 20-Mar-16 16:01:17

Thanks for the responses, to answer some questions:
When my course ends I will have a uni place providing I meet the expected grades.
Exercise- as limited childcare not done this maybe in summer.
Not a response to a question but further info- I did try online dating a bit I met some ok guys, but was rejected for date 2 by all of them. Recently had another try but put off, as the only one I liked turned out to have a fake profile with a photo stolen from an actor sad

mellowyellow1 Sun 20-Mar-16 18:05:12

A uni place is great! Keep going. Imagine how amazing it will be when you get your degree and how many different people you'll meet on your course!

And with regards to the second dates sounds like you had a lucky escape, would you rather have gone on a date knowing that they weren't that into you? You deserve a lot more than you give yourself credit for!

Sidge Sun 20-Mar-16 18:16:06

You're doing more than most people do, so give yourself a big pat on the back. Uni will hopefully open up some doors for you and things can only get better.

And I too think you had a lucky escape with those guys - no settling for second best!

Prettylittleliar99 Tue 26-Apr-16 05:00:57

Hi all... Wanted to update. Feeling very low hence why not asleep yet at 5am. Well not much has changed since the thread was started except one of the core requirements of the uni course, I had a much exam for and I got much lower grades than expected so it may be I'm not going anywhere in September. I know there's still time to try fix it but it's so disheartening. Feel like giving up . sad

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