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AIBU to want to change jobs after 3 weeks?

(29 Posts)
passmethehoover Sat 19-Mar-16 11:20:48

I recently started work at a veterinary surgery as a receptionist. The other receptionist who has been there donkeys years decided on the hours so I work Wed 1-7pm Thurs 8.30am - 7pm and Friday 8.30am - 7pm plus every other Sat and Sun 9-12. I don't mind working long days but my issue is when I get home (around 7.30pm ish) I am then expected to cook a meal for everyone. DH is an arse to cook for he hates curry, chilli, stew etc so the slow cooker is a no go. Last night I got in to find my DS (12) hadn't even had a drink and was complaining of a headache! I have been offered an interview on Monday for a regular 9-5 job but for some reason my DH is kicking up a fuss at me saying he hates his job but he has bills to pay and can't just leave etc. I'm not looking to just quit without another job in place so I really don't understand his attitude. I was really pleased that I had got an interview but he put a total downer on things and didn't speak to me for the rest of the night.

ReturnoftheWhack Sat 19-Mar-16 11:22:17

Your husband sounds like an arse and your 12 year old can get themselves a drink.

MamaLazarou Sat 19-Mar-16 11:25:54

Your DH is your problem, not your job. Why does he expect you to feed him? Is he paralysed from the neck down?

LIZS Sat 19-Mar-16 11:26:44

The issue your lazy family not the job! If your h is fussy best he cooks. Or he has what is in the slow cooker/oven. Most 12 yo could start off a meal or cook a snack let alone find a drink if thirsty.

I have a ds the same age and he's a lazy bugger at times but can get himself a drink, the bigger picture here is your dh. Would the new job involve a pay cut or similar?
Just wondering why he's got such a problem with it, it's not like you would be jumping ship if you didn't have another job ( good luck with interview btw )
He sounds extremely childish.
Is it just ds or are there other dc?
He may resent having to "mind" his dc, been through this myself, thankfully hes now an ex.
Sorry if I'm totally off the mark...
Whatever you do, do it for you and not him, nothing worse than being miserable

tangerinesarenottheonlyfruit Sat 19-Mar-16 11:28:41

Your problem is your DH. Go for the interview and see what happens.

DementedUnicorn Sat 19-Mar-16 11:29:51

Doesn't sound like the job that's the issue

Laidupwithabrokenleg Sat 19-Mar-16 11:30:00

Do you like your job at the vets? If so, don't change.

Crispbutty Sat 19-Mar-16 11:31:57

Your family are the problem and if I were you I would stay in the job and let them learn to look after themselves. They are both capable of getting dinner ready for when YOU get home. You could prep it before you go and they can finish it off.

My ex husband was like this. Note "ex" and his attitude towards me working and him having to do any work in the house was a main issue.

littleleftie Sat 19-Mar-16 11:34:10

I am also struggling to understand what is going on here.

Do you like your job at the vets? If so, why are you leaving?

Don't cook for DH - he can learn - so can DS. As for DS being unable to get himself a drink, unless there is a massive drip feed, this is laughable! Eat at work and let them fend for themselves. They will not starve, I assure you.

Your DH sounds like a total dick to be honest.

passmethehoover Sat 19-Mar-16 11:35:32

DS is my son and DH has 3 children but only one lives with us. She is 24 (he was 17 when she was born) and can just about manage to make toast. You are right they are all lazy. Slightly off topic but I am a cancer survivor (8 years this month) and used to always say life is too short to be miserable but after two years of marriage it's slowly dawning on me that most of the time I am miserable.

bakingaddict Sat 19-Mar-16 11:44:01

Listen to what your instincts are telling you .......on a separate note go for the job that will give you most satisfaction not the one most convenient for your DH.

Anniegetyourgun Sat 19-Mar-16 11:57:02

You need to get the title of this thread changed to "AIBU to want to change marriages after 2 years?"

InsufficientlyCaffeinated Sat 19-Mar-16 12:04:45

I think you need to fix the problem of your marriage not your job. Go for the interview anyway and decide what works best for you but don't let the criteria be whether or not you'll be home to make tea. If you're only home late 3 days a week the least I'd expect is for him to make tea for you for a change

Good luck OP

OzzieFem Sat 19-Mar-16 13:02:57

So you have two adults and one almost teenager at home, all incapable of cooking? Buy a basic cooking book (preferably with pictures), show them where it is kept, and tell them all to grow up, and get off their backsides, or buy takeaway on the evenings you are working.

If you like the vet job I would keep it, it may make things difficult at home for a time, but do you want to be a general dogsbody for the rest of your life?

BlueMoonRising Sat 19-Mar-16 13:15:45

Oh my!

I work long days. Sometimes I can be out from 8am till 9pm.

I have two children at home (both late teens).

They will always cook for themselves when I am working late. Without any complaints. They almost ALWAYS get their own drinks (mainly because I don't drink tea/coffee). Without any complaints.

You need to stop doing everything for them.

I'm so sorry you feel like this op, sounds like you've been through a lot sad
Please for once think of yourself, easier said than done I know but I've had to recently due to health issues, your ds will not starve.

Sounds like a talk is in order... With dh. Please do not settle for this if you're unhappy, you deserve betterflowers

Zaurak Sat 19-Mar-16 14:55:03

Go for whichever job YOU find most fulfilling

I'm sure your dh 's possession of a penis doesn't prevent him from cooking the family dinner. He needs to stop whining and get on with it.
12 year old should be able to prepare drink/snack/something simple for dinner as well. I was cooking, helping out with laundry, ironing, sorting out own uniform and packed lunch before that age.

Whoever gets in first puts dinner on.

laceylou25 Sat 19-Mar-16 15:53:12

I'd definitely go for the interview and ignore your sulking DH.

mumofthemonsters808 Sat 19-Mar-16 16:08:00

Have I read this right ?, everyone sits there, waiting for you to come home from work because they are unable to feed themselves ?. I didn't think this type of thing happened in 2016, I think we are going back to the 1950's in your house. I would not give a toss if my Husband did not like slow cooker meals, 'Id prepare something and if they decided not to eat it, tough titty. At High School, your son will have studied Food Tech, which teaches basic cooking skills, surely he can make cheese on toast and even my 5 year old can get himself a drink. You sound like you are very down trodden and two males are taking the piss out of you. Your son has no great male role model in his Father, that's for sure.

You make the decision about the job interview, don't seek your Husbands advice or opinion. He's probably thinking about which job suits HIS meal arrangements. I think this is perhaps the most depressing and frustrating post I have read on here for a while.

SquinkiesRule Sat 19-Mar-16 17:33:55

Tell your family 1950 called and wants them all back.
Get them all in the kitchen and show them where everything is, let them know you might go away for a week and they will all starve to death if they don't learn some skills.
I think I'd stop doing anything if my 11 year old couldn't get herself a drink, they are pathetic.

gottachangethename1 Sat 19-Mar-16 17:44:46

I could have written your post 6 months ago, then I changed career. Longer hours, more responsibility but I love the job. My dh who did very little had to learn quickly, as did my lazy 17yr old. They survived. Wished I'd let go of the responsibility years ago. Think of yourself for a change.

WeAllHaveWings Sat 19-Mar-16 18:01:39

Tell them when you are working late you expect them to fend for themselves, make their own dinner and tidy kitchen when they are done.

If they don't, then don't feed them when you get in, just sort out yourself.

After a while tackle them making you dinner when you get home from a long shift.

if the other job is what you want go for it, but not just because the working hours are better for feeding them.

Euphemia Sat 19-Mar-16 18:04:14

Keep the job, get a new DH. Or have a nice mature discussion with this one. smile

Damselindestress Sat 19-Mar-16 18:06:09

Your DH sounds like the problem, not your job. Please reconsider this relationship. Life is short and precious and you know that more than most, you don't deserve to be miserable.

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