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to prefer to talk to a woman

(13 Posts)
girlfrommars33 Fri 18-Mar-16 01:13:40

I've had two experiences recently which have been made easier by speaking to a woman. I needed to call Samaritans on Tuesday and I called twice and the calls were answered by men who did nothing wrong but in their greeting sounded young and slightly tired/sharp. I called a third time and spoke to an amazing woman for about half an hour. She was supportive and I felt comfortable and non judged.

I was called twice today by a product helpline. The first call was from a man and I said I couldn't speak. The second was a young woman who was helpful and pleasant and I felt treated me well.

I'm not at all anti men - I have a wonderful brother, some great male friends, and several of my female friends are married to good men. I also work in a male dominated industry. But Ive started to realise perhaps I feel more comfortable talking to a woman. AIBU?

cleaty Fri 18-Mar-16 01:32:02


NewYearNewToads Fri 18-Mar-16 01:39:30

If that's how you feel then I don't think YABU.

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 18-Mar-16 01:43:23

The first example, YANBU. The second I think you are. No idea why I think that!

girlfrommars33 Fri 18-Mar-16 01:46:22

Thanks all. No MrsT I don't know either. I guess that's why I don't know if IABU.

MsMims Fri 18-Mar-16 02:43:14

YANBU, if that's how you feel then you can't help it.

I called Samaritans once, after experiencing rape. A man answered but I have to say he was very kind and got me through the current moment of crisis. Sorry you had to call a few times before you got through to someone helpful, that must have been very disheartening flowers

girlfrommars33 Fri 18-Mar-16 03:53:26

Thanks Ms am pleased you found support flowers As I say, I'm sure the men who answered did nothing wrong so I think it must be me.

jlivingstone Fri 18-Mar-16 03:58:44

If you need to call the Samaritans then you're in a situation where you're allowed to be 'picky' (for want of a better word).

ICJump Fri 18-Mar-16 04:26:21

I think it's pretty reasonable. I prefer talking to women too

curren Fri 18-Mar-16 05:45:56

If that's what you are comfortable with Yanbu.

But the product helpline shows it may become an issue. Was there a reason other than he was a man, that you didn't want to talk on the first call.

When it's the Samaritans or similar you definitely have the right to talk to someone you feel more comfortable with.

But I am wondering if a man took a call from a product helpline and said 'oh no I am not talking to her I only want to speak to man' , would be ok too.

I don't think you are particularly wrong, but I am wondering what would have happened if the next call was a man too. The man that called could have been as equally helpful.

girlfrommars33 Fri 18-Mar-16 07:32:03

Yes curren that's it. Because I'm sure the men in both cases were doing their job properly so that's why I wonder if IABU. Perhaps I am.

Sorry - drip feed, I've just started counselling (it's been a long time waiting on NHS ans glad it's here) and have a male therapist too.

Andrewofgg Fri 18-Mar-16 08:19:59

My father was a Samaritan volunteer for a time. The men were trained that if they got the slightest vibe that a female caller would rather speak to a woman they asked and offered to transfer the call, and vice versa. It occasionally happened both ways.

That was 1967/8 and practice may have changed.

girlfrommars33 Fri 18-Mar-16 15:33:57

Thanks Andrew. I spoke a couple of words to one man and couldn't speak to the other but that wasn't suggested.

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