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AIBU?

...to report my friend for feigning disability?

68 replies

Longhorne · 17/03/2016 22:49

To cut a long story short - my friend is pretending to be visually impaired to get concert tickets and thinks it's no big deal.

Full story...

There's a concert in my city for which the tickets sold out really fast. My friend and another mutual friend wanted to go but didn't get tickets. The mutual friend works at a local college for people with disabilities and suggested that they get 'disabled tickets' which entitle a carer to go free of charge with someone with a disability (the carer friend has done this before for events with students of the college) and these tickets were still available. They have now got these tickets and my friend is going to pretend to have a visual impairment if challenged at the concert. This makes me feel so uncomfortable. I've mentioned this to my friend and she's laughed it off as though she's clever for playing the system. I've mentioned it to her again and made it clear that I really don't think it's right and she's acted like I'm the mug for not having thought of it first.

Would I BU for saying something to the venue or the concert promoters so she can't get away with this? Am I just interfering in something that doesn't really affect me?

OP posts:
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Buckinbronco · 17/03/2016 22:53

Blimey there aren't many decent friends on MN tonight! It's only a covert, it's not like she's trying to claim disability benefit. I wouldn't dream of it. What are you going to do, phone up the venue and tell them your friend bought disabled tickets from them but isn't disabled? Really?

Btw I worked for a ticket agency many moons ago which sold for big arenas and the disabled tickets were for wheelchair users. Not just someone with a disability. It was a space they could get their chair into, nothing more.

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MissAlabamaWhitman · 17/03/2016 22:53

Why would you even consider doing that?!?

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TremoloGreen · 17/03/2016 22:56

Am I just interfering in something that doesn't really affect me?
Yes.

The normal way to deal with this would be to distance yourself from this 'friend'. You clearly don't like her that much.

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manicinsomniac · 17/03/2016 22:57

No, I wouldn't tell. It's pointless. I use those tickets a lot with a friend who is disabled but it's bulimia/anxiety type MH issues. She doesn't actually need a carer to go to the theatre. But it's one of the extremely few perks in her life so we do it. Nobody ever checks, asks or seems to care at all.

I think it's a bit off of them to fake it completely in case it prevented a disabled person getting the tickets but, if they were still free so close to the event, I'd say that's reasonably unlikely. I certainly don't think it's awful enough to drop anyone in it for.

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NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 17/03/2016 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Caprinihahahaha · 17/03/2016 23:01

If she's going to pretend to have a disability then she's a fucking twat.

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DancingDinosaur · 17/03/2016 23:01

I don't know, I probably wouldn't say anything but it is pretty shitty behaviour.

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DancingDinosaur · 17/03/2016 23:01

Yeah I agree she sounds like a fucking twat.

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NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 17/03/2016 23:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

twelly · 17/03/2016 23:03

Obtaining the tickets in this way is dishonest, an sadly this example is a minor infringement. Although I would find it awkward and also wonder if I should say something. I don't believe that it is right to get abuse the system in the case mentioned where someone had issues but didn't need a carer, that is not what the system was intended for

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MissAlabamaWhitman · 17/03/2016 23:06

Personally I don't believe it's good form to report your friends for misdemeanours of the twattish kind.

Good talking to, yes.

Reporting her? Two twats don't make a right OP

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LogicalThinking · 17/03/2016 23:21

It removes access to the event from a genuinely disabled person.
It also makes more people suspect genuinely disabled people of pretending to be disabled.
It is utterly shitty.
Getting accessible tickets for events when you are disabled is a flippin' nightmare.

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lalalalyra · 17/03/2016 23:31

I think it's a really shitty thing for her to do, but I don't think it's worth reporting her because there's very little chance anyone at the venue is going to risk confronting her. They don't know you or her so they'll probably not take the risk of finding themselves in a sad face "X place accused me of faking my disability" DM story. What they may do is seriously tighten up their policy for future concerts which might deprive more people than your twatty friend is doing this time.

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EverySongbirdSays · 18/03/2016 00:16

I am somebody who genuinely needs accessible tickets for gigs/concerts.

I have missed out on concerts because of people abusing this system - it's a completely shite thing to do, utterly selfish.

After I failed to get tickets for 2 concerts I wanted to go to I suspected people were doing this. I was whinging about it to a colleague who then rather shamefacedly admitted to doing this to get Rihanna tickets.

More venues are asking for proof these days : DLA/PIP I wish they all would.

Unfortunately there's no one to report him to mores the pity. The venue won't do anything, I don't think, except maybe blacklist him from future tickets. And even then that's a maybe.

Just tell him that you think he's a shit and make it clear why.

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Trollicking · 18/03/2016 00:34

I'd call and tell the venue that you have heard that people are faking disabilities without giving further details - Then it's up to the venue to check or not check

I'd also make it clear to my friend that it's a pathetic thing to do. Faking a disability is twattery of the highest order.

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YellowBucket · 18/03/2016 00:40

Whenever I have taken advantage of this scheme I take the relevant paperwork for my disability. Other than at festivals I have never been asked for it. (I am always asked to bring it though)
More worryingly my bag has never been checked by security.
People who abuse this scheme really make me cross - but there are posts on various forums advising people to claim they have vertigo to get 'good tickets'.. Venues need to start taking more responsibility too. My worry is they may just pull the scheme.
Depending on the gig she may find herself apart from her friend, or hopefully being the only one to watch. On one occasion the platform was full and carers were asked to wait outside in the food area - my 'carer' was a child and could stay, as could the carers who were accompanying people with equipment etc. The small print of a free carers ticket doesn't guarantee them watching all or part of the show.

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YellowBucket · 18/03/2016 00:44

I lied! I recently had to provide proof of disability, along with a photo/blue badge for a gig at the Olympic Stadium in the summer. Failure to do so within 14 days would have led to my ticket being cancelled.

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MyFriendGoo52 · 18/03/2016 00:46

Yanbu.

Shit like this affects everyone who has a disability, eventually it will affect them........same as the silly twats who lend out or even sell official letters to prove disability so that people can pretend their kids are disabled so they don't have to queue at theme parks.

Yes really.

So now genuinely disabled people have to jump through hoops to get the passes, which are usually capped to a small number of rides because it got so out of hand.

Arseholes.

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LifeofI · 18/03/2016 01:15

Pointless because what will happen is you will lose your friend and she will still get into the concert because there is no proof she isnt visually impaired.

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LifeofI · 18/03/2016 01:17

Trollicking that's a good idea actually to phone the venue and say people are lying and they should check papers

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LogicalThinking · 18/03/2016 16:21

she will still get into the concert because there is no proof she isnt visually impaired.
But they could ask for proof that she is. I have no problem at all in showing proof of my visual impairment. I carry my registration card with me all the time.

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firesidechat · 18/03/2016 16:25

Both of my parents are blind and we've never used this perk. Yes, I would report them, but I would say that wouldn't I. Angry

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ElementaryMyDear · 18/03/2016 16:28

I agree that if you report it they'll probably still let her in because they won't want a nasty scene where they appear to be challenging someone's disability. But I don't that losing this person as a friend is a reason not to report, I wouldn't want arsehole friends like this.

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firesidechat · 18/03/2016 16:31

I'm willing to bet that it will be obvious to the staff that she isn't visually impaired. It's quite hard to fake a disability if you've had no practise doing it before, even the so called invisible ones. I would struggle to fake it and I've been around my parents the whole of my 50 plus years. She will look like a twat in any case.

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firesidechat · 18/03/2016 16:32

Hmm, not come back to your thread op and name changed too?

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