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To be hurt that two of my friends have become best of friends and have no time for me now?

(12 Posts)
PrettyFakeLily Thu 17-Mar-16 21:06:00

I have known each of them, I'll call them A and B, for around 5 years. A has children at the same school as my children and we have been good friends for several years.

B is an ex colleague, but we have always stayed good friends.

In September last year, B's child started at the same school that mine and A's children attend. I introduced them to each other, and they got along well, which I was happy about. We met up a few times as a 3, just for coffee at each others' houses.

After about 3 months I started to notice that both of them were being quite 'off' with me. They started ignoring my texts at times, and both were always quite busy whenever I suggested doing anything. I saw, via Facebook, that they were seeing quite a lot of each other. There was, and still is, a lot of tagging of each other and saying what a great day they'd had out with the kids, or what a good night out they'd had, or what a laugh they'd had on a run together that day. And lots of sharing photos and captions about friendships and tagging each other and saying what good friends they are. I never get invited to any of these meet ups, and neither ever initiates any contact with me now.

I've basically been completely frozen out by the pair of them. I'm polite and friendly when I see them, and they are with me, but it's obvious that they don't really want to speak to me or associate with me in any way. I was walking to the school today to collection and B suddenly ran past me, said a very unfriendly 'hi' and ran to catch up with A, who was walking quite a way in front of me.

I know it all sounds rather childish but I honestly have no problem at all with them being friends, I am just really hurt that I have been frozen out and I can't see why they cannot still be friends with me even if they do want to be best friends.

These are women in their late thirties/early forties btw.

AIBU to be hurt?

ABitSensible Thu 17-Mar-16 21:08:03

YANBU, I dont get bitchy behaviour like this. Its sad that its so common.

KERALA1 Thu 17-Mar-16 21:08:25

Yanbu. Holds your hand - happened to me too. Sod all you can do really. It's shit.

TheDuchessOfArbroathsHat Thu 17-Mar-16 21:08:47

YANBU to be hurt. You've been 'wendied' I'm afraid. It's a thing, it happens, it hurts like hell.
Nothing you can do really except stand back and wait for it to implode - which it will. As for you - freeze them out right back. Dignified smile when you come across them and NOTHING more. Fuck 'em - sorry you're hurt over this. It's happened to me so I know how it feels.

bibbitybobbityyhat Thu 17-Mar-16 21:12:37


The80sweregreat Thu 17-Mar-16 21:15:34

I am sorry, i genuinely believe we do not leave the playground behind as adults. Agree with the duchess, head up, you have nothing to feel bad about at all. You will make new friends im sure. Its happens, its not nice, but best to try and move on. You will, just takes a bit of time.

Aeroflotgirl Thu 17-Mar-16 21:18:03

What awful behaviour, they were not good friends in the first place with you. Ignore and move on.

DancingDinosaur Thu 17-Mar-16 21:22:12

Yeah, its spiteful op. No need for it at all.

Happyat40 Thu 17-Mar-16 21:22:16

Yanbu .

This is happened to me too.

I generally stay well clear of playground friendships now - I don't enjoy the dynamics at all.

Empathy from me.

PrettyFakeLily Thu 17-Mar-16 21:23:13

Thanks all!

I'll be steering clear of any school based friendships from now on too, can't be bothered with the hassle of it all.

plantsitter Thu 17-Mar-16 21:30:15

Happened to me too. The worst thing is knowing that you ought not to care, and you could never say anything without seeming like you were about 6, but it really really hurts.

Dump 'em and move onflowers

KERALA1 Thu 17-Mar-16 22:46:42

Strange plant sitter just typed a response literally the same as yours!

Hate that you are made so powerless you cannot say anything to anyone without sounding needy and loser ish. I have removed myself from Facebook.

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