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(42 Posts)
easydiy Tue 15-Mar-16 12:09:33

I have decided that I'm sick of life constantly handing me out the shitty bag of huge stinky shit. So I thought I would start this thread for anyone in the same state of mind as me at the moment and would like anyone or anything to simply KISS THEIR ASS!!

EatShitDerek Tue 15-Mar-16 12:15:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaucyJack Tue 15-Mar-16 12:16:59

Bit dramatic for me right now, but I'd like Someone Who Isn't Me to track down the perfect shade of wallpaper and do my lounge with it.

CantWaitForWarmWeather Tue 15-Mar-16 12:18:34

Depression can go and kiss my arse definitely.
Some people can go and fuck themselves to the far side of fuck, never mind kiss my arse.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Tue 15-Mar-16 12:19:39

Can my bills KMA please?
Actually having enough money to live on would be great.

And the 6 week minimum wait for benefits review. You suck too.

SalemSaberhagen Tue 15-Mar-16 12:21:47

Norovirus can kiss my arse. The whole household has had it now and it's really pissing me off. We have no shopping or tablets for the dishwasher left and the house is a mess 😭

CantWaitForWarmWeather Tue 15-Mar-16 12:24:30

Salem I feel for you. My household has just been through the same thing!

easydiy Tue 15-Mar-16 12:29:13

CantwaitForWarmWeather I hear you about the depression and I wish I could change the thread title for you to Some people can go and fuck themselves to the far side of fuck it has a much better ring to it than kiss my ass!

Bunkai Tue 15-Mar-16 12:32:13

I have no idea whether I have a job in a couple of weeks AND someone told me today I'm being paid far too much for the work I do.

Then there's my muscy cough that stops me breathing for a short time. I haven't had a night's sleep in a month because of it.

My DS being poorly. Other DS having an embarrasing medical issue that he's struggling with and will get worse because of the new meds.

The ex trying to screw me over in the divorce.

The ex abdicating responsibility of his children.

A new bloke that flirted constantly, then when he got my attention, disappeared (found out he's in a relationship already. Git).

All of the above can kiss my lily-white arse!

Bunkai Tue 15-Mar-16 12:32:55

I feel a bit better...

easydiy Tue 15-Mar-16 12:37:09

Bunkai thats it let it out.......

My DC's school can KISS MY ASS because I don't give a flying fuck anymore. I have faith in them do do well when they are ready.

stumblymonkey Tue 15-Mar-16 12:43:26

Work have just announced they are making 200 redundancies.

I will find out later whether I am impacted (I am pretty sure I am).

They can KISS MY ARSE if they think I'm doing any work today.

I'm working from home so once 'the meeting' has taken place I will go and get chocolate and watch a film.

stumblymonkey Tue 15-Mar-16 12:44:28

Anyone have any film recommendations where a big corporation gets royally fucked over for my amusement?

Probably not, because that hardly ever happens

Bunkai Tue 15-Mar-16 15:15:10

Erin Brockovich may be worth a watch.

wasonthelist Tue 15-Mar-16 15:30:30

Op why would anyone wish to kiss your donkey?

wasonthelist Tue 15-Mar-16 15:31:54

Stumbly Office Space is the one you need.

MadameCholetsDirtySecret Tue 15-Mar-16 15:31:54

Dementia can kiss my arse and fuck right off. My DDad deserved better.

DingbatsFur Tue 15-Mar-16 15:31:59

Dear colleague with the shitty report and new project with a further shitty report. I am off on holiday now HAHAHAHAHAHA!

easydiy Tue 15-Mar-16 15:37:29

Because wasonthelist it's freshly shaven grin

Yoksha Tue 15-Mar-16 15:41:42

Cadbury's chocolate can Kiss My Ass! I've just vommed entire contents from stomach after eating 2 x small chocolate cream egg biscuits. I've read heaps about how rubbish the chocolate is, but this takes the biscuit ( pardon the pun ). grin

SiencynArsecandle Tue 15-Mar-16 15:51:12

Mental illness - kiss my arse
DWP - kiss my arse
Shitty village inbred cunts - kiss my arse
DD's shitbag teacher who picks on her constantly but wont say anything to me - go to the fuckiest side of fuck and fuck off

Great thread cake

MERLYPUSSEDOFF Tue 15-Mar-16 17:00:46

Bereavement - KMA

Cancer - KMA

Cunty builders who take your money and do nothing - KMA

SpanielLedWeaning Tue 15-Mar-16 17:13:35

Ulcerative colitis can kick my arse

Being stuck on steriods and a multitude of other drugs with a list of side effects as long as my arm can kick my arse

Being immuno-compromised can kick my arse

And whatever illness that has left me feeling like shit today can just Fuck Off

easydiy Tue 15-Mar-16 18:38:06

Dam I'm really starting to wish I had consulted you all for better titles for my thread!

My DH whom always thinks the world revolves around him can actually take a running fucking jump and kiss my ass on the way down!

GingerMerkin Tue 15-Mar-16 19:49:51

The shit who cloned my credit card and then spent hundreds on an online gambling site can as my old neighbour used to say 'hit the ceiling and kiss my arse'.

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