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Not to cater for sister's --'faddy'-- sorry, restricted, diet?!

(186 Posts)
nappyrat Tue 15-Mar-16 11:41:47

I invited my sisters and a couple of friends round for a celebratory dinner the other night. I made spag bol.

I know my sister is pretty 'faddy' with her eating - she follows the FODMAP diet, 'tries' to avoid dairy (expect when she really facies filling her face with chocolate or cream or cheese) but it's all a bit 'on / off' and her Ok-foods seem very complicated (to me at least!), and restrictive.

She arrived at my house last night (I am a lone parent and had been at work all day just to set the scene!) and pretty much the first question she asked as she came in the door was whether or not I had catered to her dietary requirements(!!). Which I hadn't with the spa bol, but then swapped the accompanying side dish to suit her. to She ate everything up, had seconds but the next day, sent me an email to say 'no onion next time please'

AIBU to be pissed off!? hmm

Corygal1 Tue 15-Mar-16 11:43:28

Rude. YANBU.

DreamingofSummer Tue 15-Mar-16 11:43:48

and the second word is "off"

Coldtoeswarmheart Tue 15-Mar-16 11:43:55

Depends on why she follows the dairy-free/ FODMAP diet, really.

FauxFox Tue 15-Mar-16 11:44:39

Just tell her to bring her own food as you don't feel confident you can get it right for her and you would hate to make her ill grin

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Tue 15-Mar-16 11:44:52

YABU. You knew her dietary requirements beforehand. If you felt unable to cater for her you should have either not invited her, or asked her to bring her own food.

I'm sure she assumed that as you had invited her, and that as you were aware of her needs you were going to cater for her - a perfectly reasonable assumption.

IdaJones Tue 15-Mar-16 11:45:51

Off to google FODMAP

IdaJones Tue 15-Mar-16 11:47:25

Have googled it. Does she have bowel problems?

ExitPursuedByABear Tue 15-Mar-16 11:47:37

DH's sister can't eat onions. It makes cooking for her a bit difficult - I usually do her something plain.

DonkeyOaty Tue 15-Mar-16 11:49:20

Yes yabu.

BarbaraofSeville Tue 15-Mar-16 11:49:51

Your sister is very rude to email you with requests and feedback like that.

Is there a genuine medical reason for the FODMAP diet? Clearly the dairy avoidance is a fad if she eats chocolate, cream and cheese.

It sounds like my SIL, who claims to be allergic to egg, but eats it in cake and puddings without an issue. Why she can't just say she doesn't like boiled eggs or whatever, I don't know.

If she had a genuine medical reason, she explained her needs nicely and followed them consistently, fair enough. She should also bring some food that she normally eats, rather than expecting everyone else to fall in line with her requirements. Because from what you've said, she sounds to me like an attention seeking control freak.

nappyrat Tue 15-Mar-16 11:50:43

I think the suggestion of suggesting she brings her own food next time makes good sense. Don't think it'll go down well! ;)

Coldtoeswarmheart Tue 15-Mar-16 11:51:35

MIL follows a GF diet and tends to bring her own food possibly because she doesn't believe me capable of catering to her needs even though I've never given her any cause to think otherwise but on the occasions when I do cook for her, I do accommodate. But it's easier to do that when the needs are clear.

I understood that the FODMAP thing is tricky to get right and needs a dietician's advice, really.

theycallmemellojello Tue 15-Mar-16 11:52:26

Depends if you knew about the dietary requirements beforehand? If you did - yabu. You don't have to approve of her diet (though I don't see the point of judging myself, lots of people are trying to lose weight and try various different diets), but there's no point inviting her to dinner and serving something she can't eat on it. If you don't want to cater for it - don't invite her to dinner (fine to ask her over and bring her own food etc). If you didn't know about the ins and outs of the diet and she complained that you'd served onions (rather than just pointed out that next time she didn't want them) Yanbu. But it sounds like she broke the diet to eat what you served, so she's not being wholly unreasonable herself.

oldlaundbooth Tue 15-Mar-16 11:54:34

Your sister needs to have more respect for you as a sister and as a person who is kind enough to cook her dinner.

'No onion' = no next time.

WorraLiberty Tue 15-Mar-16 11:55:36

I think the suggestion of suggesting she brings her own food next time makes good sense. Don't think it'll go down well! ;)

Give her plenty of water with it then wink

oldlaundbooth Tue 15-Mar-16 11:55:59

P. S. Congrats on whatever you're celebrating! flowers

nappyrat Tue 15-Mar-16 11:57:00

Barbara - I think that is my issue, it's not done particularly nicely. If it were another friend and they said 'sorry to be a pain, could I trouble you...blah blah' and 'would you like me to make something instead if you are pushed for time' I wouldn't mind, it's just done so rudely!!!

She could have done a 'thank you for a lovely evening, am suffering a bit for the onion though, can I remind you of the no-go items for next time please?'

I have to admit, I genuinely forgot (oops, my bad) about her dietary requirements when I was making the meal.

Oh well!

acasualobserver Tue 15-Mar-16 11:57:18

Ask her to suggest a few dishes she enjoys eating. Next time, make one if those.

nappyrat Tue 15-Mar-16 11:59:56

theycallmemellojello - I was brought up to bloody eat what people put in front of you. I would never DREAM of sending someone a list of foods I can and can't eat (and trust me, the list is EXTENSIVE!) if they were having me over for dinner. I just think it's rude. You deal with it!

oldlaundbooth - thank yoU! smile

nappyrat Tue 15-Mar-16 12:00:48

Ask her to suggest a few dishes she enjoys eating. Next time, make one if those.

yep good idea too

CurbsideProphet Tue 15-Mar-16 12:03:27

I followed FODMAP for medical reasons and with HCP advice/guidance. If I was your sister I would have checked with you first and brought my own food. YANBU as if she was serious she would have made her own arrangements and not moaned afterwards.

Arfarfanarf Tue 15-Mar-16 12:04:30

How funny that she thinks there'll be a next time with behaviour like that!

MyFavouriteClintonisGeorge Tue 15-Mar-16 12:07:37

my SIL, who claims to be allergic to egg, but eats it in cake and puddings without an issue. Why she can't just say she doesn't like boiled eggs or whatever, I don't know

Some people are allergic to a specific egg protein that is broken down if the egg is cooked longer than 20 minutes or so. That means they can have cakes, but can't eat things like omelette. DS's best friend is like this.

JuxtapositionRecords Tue 15-Mar-16 12:08:05

I didn't know what this was until I just googled it, and the first thing I found said onion is the number 1 thing to avoid. She obviously had a bad night after eating it. There must be a reason she is on this diet as it looks awful, I can't think why anyone would do it for a fad. IBS is absolutely terrible and if you had it you be prepared to try anything to help too.

I think YABU - you have obviously felt this way for a while, you say how awful it is to cater for her but then "forget" when it comes to what you are cooking?? hmm Just don't ask her for dinner anymore if it is that much of a bother.

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