Need reasonable expressions of surprise and curse words

[FinallyFreeFromItAll]

I keep finding myself saying "oh my god" as an expression of surprise. I know IABU with this as it even irritates me! I blame too much Americanised TV. However the more I try to change it the dafter all the other options seem to sound.

So AIBU to ask you all to please help me by sharing what word you most commonly use as an expression of surprise?

I'd also be very interested in your "child friendly" curse words. At the moment I'm saying "oh fiddlesticks" but feel slightly daft.

[CoteDAzur]

"I'm saying "oh fiddlesticks" but feel slightly daft."

You don't say

[SummerTimeSoon]

Ive been irritating myself since Ds was born last year, saying 'cheese and crackers' instead of Jesus Christ and 'what the frick 'n frack' instead of what the fuck...there loads are more, I don't know what's wrong with me, it's embarrassing when they slip out in front of other people

[AdrenalineFudge]

"Ye gads!"
"Crikey!"

[SummerTimeSoon]

And instead of oh my god I say 'OMGEEEE' ...I'm so annoying

[Cabawill]

We use Oh My Gosh and instead of my usual "shit" I say "sugar"

[SoupDragon]

My mother uses "fish hooks" which seemed perfectly reasonable when I was a child but now, with adult eyes, seems absolutely bonkers.

I tend to go with "oh... Poopy parpy pants" which is equally bonkers, or "oh for... Sake" with a significant pause.

[KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes]

Child friendly? Lost me there.

My current favourite is, "That's the balls!"

It's a grown up version of "Totes Amazeballs!"

[ToastyFingers]

My child friendly exasperated curse is usually "for goodness sake"
I substitute goodness with fuck for after bedtime obviously.

People who'd usually get called wankers are 'silly billies'

When I'm surprised I usually just say 'oh, wow' so I'm not much help there.

[BillSykesDog]

Blimey.

[CruCru]

Gosh.

[IBelieveInPink]

I've switched to 'oh goodness'.

Still working on the others and need to come up with something soon as dd is an actual sponge at the moment.

[CaitSith]

We're big fans of "Gordon Bennett!" in our house. So much so that 3 year old DS now uses it too

[VoldysGoneMouldy]

"Sugar honey ice tea" - normally for when I've dropped something (happens a lot...) and am trying not to swear.

"Merlin's pants" - thank you JKR for that one.

"Poxy" anything. Normally muttered under my breath and exclaimed loudly.

[TheWitTank]

Just don't do a me and screech 'fuck my life!!!' when in a professional situation at work. To be fair, someone surprised me by walking around a corner at the same time as I was and made me jump and it just popped out, but I was and boss was not impressed uptight. I'm listening eagerly for new, unsweary ones!

[Astrophe]

Flipping Ada!
My giddy aunt!
Holy cow!
Crumbs!

[FinallyFreeFromItAll]

Still working on the others and need to come up with something soon as dd is an actual sponge at the moment.

This is the problem I'm having. DS won't stop saying Jheeeeezus because I went to say jesus christ, then tried to stop myself and came out with something that sounded like a mix of Jesus and cheese! I only said it once and now he comes out with it multiple times a day.

[Astrophe]

DH says bollocks, which I thought was ok until DC started saying it...now it seems less ok

[doughnutslikefannys]

I've recently being saying "Jiminy Christmas!" at work and I have no idea where it came from. I don't have kids and am free to swear as much as I like

[murphys]

Well now that the dc are teenagers, at home its:

Arsehole! (referring to myself if/when I drop something)
What an arse
Arsewipe
FFS - sometime said in full, sometimes abbreviated
WTF - Ditto

If I am really trying to be polite (ie we have company) its usually:

Flaming this
Flaming that
Fecking
Farking

You get the gist

Customers or clients:

Oh my gosh.
Goodness
Oh dear.

[doughnutslikefannys]

recently BEEN*

[FinallyFreeFromItAll]

My giddy aunt!

I quite like that actually.

[Narnia72]

My child friendly ones are

Holy Moly
Oh My Words
For Goodness' Sake

Necessitated after DC1 repeated some less child friendly phrases I'd used whilst driving.

I often think I sound like Mary bleedin' Poppins ;-)

[Myfanwyprice]

I really need alternatives to bloody and bugger - which I know aren't the worst swear words in the world, but I say them all the time and ds in particular really picks up on it - it's a bit embarrassing when your 9 year old tells you to mind your language!

A couple of weeks ago ds said to me that dd (6) had sworn at him; I said to her that I hoped she hadn't, she replied "well he is a bloody idiot!"

[acasualobserver]

Kinelle is useful.

[Astrophe]

I often use 'goat' or 'goose' as an insult eg when driving.
I do love 'arsehat' and the delightful Irish 'gobshite', though one cannot really pretend they are family friendly.