to expect 14 month old to be able to play at home just once!(31 Posts)
It's a bit lighthearted and just need a vent tbh!
I've got a cot being delivered today for 14 month old Dd's baby brother or sister due in July. Therefore we can't go out, not even for a walk as I don't know what time it's coming. Could literally be anytime before 5.
Every weekday we go out around 9 or 10 to various toddler groups, music groups etc. Tuesday's are the the only day we don't have anything on and I usually take her to the park or into town just to get out of the house.
It's not even 10 yet and so at she's been whinging all morning (which is the norm until we go out everyday)!
Aibu to expect dd to just play at home? I will play with her at various points before lunch and will try and think of a creative activity of some sort too. I just feel a bit hen pecked! How much stimulation do they need? Grr!
Not at all. Mine have gone through phases like this but the more you take them out, the more they expect it. Only go out if you want to go out
Without sounding bitchy here you have made a rod for your own back by constantly stimulating her.
Means she doesn't know how to be bored.
You will have to battle through it today and be firm to show no matter how much she whinges, you won't entertain her.
She needs to learn for when your baby is born anyway as there will be times such as feeding when you can't entertain her
You go out every weekday to a group?!
Christ my maternity leave of six months is over next month he will entertain himself with childminder and in the mornings with me and dog and garden that's it!
Poor DS goes to tescos and garden centres and tk max for entertainment haha!
It's probably because you do go out so much and do provide constant stimulation.
I say that like it's a bad thing
But perhaps build into the week times where she isn't doing much. Maybe dont go out to so much all the time.
It's important to do all this stuff of course but quiet time also has value dont underestimate the importance of teaching a young child to occupy themselves sometimes. It's important for their development, their imagination, not having to be entertained, iyswim.
Constant external stimulation and entertainment is not good. Never interacting is not good. Middle ground is good.
A vote for middle ground, it is a good place.
My first was like this. She needs constant entertaining and we went out to all the baby/toddler classes and she struggles to play by herself. With eh second I was running around trying to keep dd1 happy dd2 just fell in and got on with things. She can quite happily sit and play with toys herself for ages and would rather stay in than go out. I wish I wasn't so paranoid with the first. I felt I had to do EVERYTHING with her to be a good parent. Mind you getting out and about was mainly for my sanity!
Maybe set her up with some bits to do? Blanket on the floor and a few teddies and some playfood, kitchen type stuff?
They do get into a bit of a routine, I'd start changing it up now so she's not as set when your baby arrives.
If you're always stimulating her every second what do you expect
Probably worth getting her used to it given you'll have your hands full with another one soon.
It's just the mornings we go out! Then after lunch she has a long afternoon nap and entertains herself from 3pm until dinner time (usually)!
Ninja I would definitely put kids TV on if she was remotely interested!
I think you are getting a hard time here OP, getting out of the house most mornings doesn't sound like "constant stimulation" to me. Different if you are saying that she is entertained from dawn till dusk. I try to get out with my 2 year old every day, that still leaves plenty of hours left at home for him to entertain himself (and he is usually very good at doing so, but Sod's law is that when you have to stay in they are desperate to get out!)
The difficulty is that 14 month olds are not open to reason or anything but very short-term bribery, so if she wants to get out it is hard to explain to her why you can't. If she's driving you to distraction can you just stick on a bit of cbeebies?
I sympathise though, there's nothing worse than being stuck at home with a bored and whiny toddler. We moved house when DS was about 16 months and had a couple of months where I was constantly having to wait in for tradesmen in an unsafe house, it was very hard work!
Cross post! Shame cbeebies isn't an option. I once got about half an hour of peace and quiet out of my DS at the same age by giving him the contents of the cutlery drawer to play with (minus any sharp knives obviously). He spent ages tipping it all out on the floor and putting them back in the right compartments over and over again. Must try that one again actually!
I found getting out most days the key to my sanity on mat leave!
If you can't, we tend to do baking. Stock solution for DD whenever we're stuck indoors. Or messy stuff if you can bear it. Or make a den/tent/castle out of cardboard or a large blanket. Our go out into the garden with a ball.
Have you tried kids YouTube? It's a special app tailored for kids so safe etc. My DS is not interested in kids TV either, but KYT has very short little videos with songs and he can choose what to watch next and it's quite interactive. It's useful sometimes if I need to get something done. Also, the CBeebies app is good and there is a University of Sheffield study which found it educational and beneficial along with some other apps.
You can read more here:
I liked that study. Made me feel a lot less guilty!
They've got bugger all attention span at 14 months.
My DS is now 3 and loves a day with nothing on, just playing with his toys. It's a wind-down after a busy week.
At 14 months they don't have the same capacity for self entertainment though. Always easier to go out.
Sometimes if I have an all day delivery or appt I will ring them and ask them to give me a shorter time period or ask the driver to ring when there half an hour away or something, I know its not always possible some will give you a straight forward no if you ask this but worth a try ? At least if they can tell you will it be morning or afternoon.
I don't think going out every morning is a rod for your own back. It's certainly what i did for my pfb and dc2 for on as it was a great routine out in the morning and home for lunch and nap. DC3 attended far get groups but was still up and out daily for the school run. Mine definately needed the exercise of not the stimulation.
Messy play? depends how far along you are in pg and how much you feel like coping with the mess.
I'm glad she is absorbed in CBeebies. Long may it last
By the way, when the baby arrives you may find a moses basket within a travel cot to be useful. That way you can put baby down without bored older sibling assaulting him/her...... <bitter experience here>
Fill the sink with water and let her 'wash up', sit on the sofa and blow bubbles for her to pop, give her some dry pasta, a saucepan and a wooden spoon and let her 'cook', sing some action songs with her .... These are all things that worked for me when I was pregnant but also had toddlers as they mostly meant I could stay sitting down.
superking genius idea! I've just given DD aged 13 months a Tupperware box with all the plastic cutlery in and she is happily taking things in and out of it and taking the lid on and off....
Going out every day a rod for your own back? Come on!
My first was like this, very very active, and needed walking every day or I had a whinging mess. Even as a baby a walk out in the pram was a must. TV wasn't an option until 3 or 4.
There were days when I'd have sobbing by the door while trying to put shoes on at 8am.
They were actually capable of entertaining themselves, just not quiet, sitting type entertaining. In the park, garden, anywhere they could run round did the job. I'd park up in a cafe or on a bench while they burned their energy.
They are an athlete now and need 2-3 hours training a day- if they get that they are able to sit and concentrate at school or have quiet time with a book. No exercise and I'm back to a whinging 12 year old or one inventing sofa jumping games.
o/p- take the cushions off the sofa and play "ready steady go" jumping while you sit down
Is it dry and sunnyish where you are by any remote chance? Little pot of water and a paintbrush to "paint" the garden. I promise you it will take care of the summer as your toddler paints pics of snails/rainbows/bees on the ground which dry rapidly leaving a lovely blank canvas to start all over again
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