I might be overreacting but I've just come to the end of my tether. I recently gave birth to my second child so my Mother has come to spend a week with me helping out. She came from two days the day after DD was born, I had been apprehensive as she has established views on how to manage a baby which I knew had caused some tension when my DS was born a couple of years ago. Anyway during those two days I found her to be very supportive and was surprised when she didn't say anything which I felt was judgemental, patronising or too controversial.
Cut to three weeks later and I have been really struggling to absorb all the remarks she keeps making about how I should do things differently from how often I feed DD to the cot she's sleeping in (she thinks she should be in a much smaller one until she's older) etc
I should say before I continue, for the sake of a balanced argument that she has been incredibly helpful from a practical perspective and has done so much to help around the house.
Anyway, tonight DD was really crying hard and we were contemplating what could be the matter. It seemed to early for another feed however I said I was going to make up a bottle (unfortunately BF was cut short due to a series of unfortunate complications). So I went to get one of the formula bottles from the cupboard and because DD was going berserk by the stage I didn't hear it up. I believe it's fine to give it to get at room temp when necessary.
Well my mum almost lost it. I gave her the bottle to give to DD and went into my room to get myself dressed for bed. The next thing I could hear DD screaming again. Then my mum came storming into my room shouting at me that the bottle I had given her was cold. I calmly told her it was at room temp but she dismissed this and said again that it was cold. I tried to explain to her that the pre made formula bottles can be served at room temperature but she kept interrupting my saying things like "I can't believe you'd give her a freezing bottle" and "how can you expect her to be warm with a cold bottle in her".
This went back and forth for a few minutes with her becoming more and more emphatic then angry. I then told her to go get the hot water so we could warm it up. I was really trying to manage my emotions. When she returned she started saying that I was so pig headed and why couldn't I listen to her advice the way my older sister does.
I just felt like a child again. I told her at the end that she'd upset me accusing me of doing something to hurt DD and that she wouldn't listen to my explanations about room temperature. She then said she was only trying to help and stormed out if the room.
I feel really bad because she's right she has been incredibly helpful but I feel so frustrated that the only way I can keep the peace is to basically follow all her ways of doing things while she's here.
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AIBU?
...to not want my mother's advice
31 replies
Franny1977 · 15/03/2016 00:34
OP posts:
Alasalas2 ·
15/03/2016 01:04
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Alasalas2 ·
15/03/2016 01:06
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