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to ask why you quit Facebook?

(75 Posts)
FortifiedWine Mon 14-Mar-16 21:13:37

Wrong to post in AIBU? Probably.

History:

Severe Facebook addict from 2008-2016 - ( EIGHT years of doing nothing but endlessly posting shit about my dinner and other mundane events of my life)

First quit in December 2015, due to drama with XP's side of the family. The my side of the family. The friends. The other member of family. Petty stuff. Found myself drawn to MN (had been a lurker for a while) and personally I find I've interacted with more people on here than I ever did with my 'friends' on Facebook! I was sometimes on Facebook everyday - 12-15 hours a day, starting from the moment I woke up till the moment I fell asleep. And for no particular reason, just because simply - I am nosey and enjoy knowing every aspect of distant friends and acquaintances lives.

I am tempted to go back on there... many reason why... a few friends due to give birth and I'd like to see there photos. A few over dramatic friends statuses I've missed. A few support groups/people belonging to these, for personal issues in my life that I miss? It's not always easy to email people, especially if you are not close, just nosey... lol

It's been the longest I've ever been off there so far. No drama from the XP and his family. No drama from friends wondering why I didn't include them in my post. No drama from my mother (I'm late 20s) who is worried about me because I just checked into a Pret a Manger miles from home and mentioned a random guy was asking for my number.

Tell me your experiences. I'd love to know.

I like the quiet life, but still find myself typing it in the search bar after so many years of indoctrination. Does this ever end?!

Ps. have developed unhealthy fixation for posting on Mumsnet

MadSprocker Mon 14-Mar-16 21:22:29

I too have swapped FB for MN. Though I do like the lack of drama in other people's lives.

dudsville Mon 14-Mar-16 21:23:58

I hated fb, I found it too socially complex, didn't like it's layout, best decision every to come off it!

Gymboree567 Mon 14-Mar-16 21:24:42

Hi, I quit facebook for different reasons to you
My sister made me join as she was moving away and said I could see all her photos
I didn't like it, didnt understand it and didnt use my account for over a year
I started working at a big company, people started to ask are you on fb and started adding me, so I went on, got up to 500 friends
Then it started getting depressing, seeing photos of nights out I wasn't invited to
I realised these "friends" weren't friends at all, just people I had met, I stripped it down to 300 then 200 then 150
I found out my friend had been lying to me through facebook
Another "friend" blocked me so I wouldn't find out I wasn't invited to her birthday
I just got fed up of all the bragging posts, moaning posts and comparing my life to others
No one one facebook was my real friend, how many of these people could I call in an emergency
It was a depressing pointless waste of time

I set up a new one, fake name, no friends, just for buying and selling, when I'm bored I browse the adverts, don't miss my "friends" at all
Plus it's full of weirdos stalking your photos!!

AnchorDownDeepBreath Mon 14-Mar-16 21:25:58

Read the studies about people who are happier away from Facebook. That should motivate you to stay away!

In all seriousness, if you're addicted to such a degree that you crave Facebook even when you've been off it for years, I wouldn't feed the addiction. You've lost eight years to it and you could easily lose eight more...

Wait until December 2016. Then the craving is likely to be gone and you'll feel much better.

FortifiedWine Mon 14-Mar-16 21:27:27

Yes, the invitations you aren't invited to are the worst! Don't miss that at all. And people tagging their 'best friends' (of which you are not included even if you've known them 20+ years...)

You find out who your friends are when you quit Facebook. Four people have text me since. Four out of 100!

Littlefluffyclouds81 Mon 14-Mar-16 21:30:02

Someone I know quit Facebook because he said "I don't care that some cunt from the past is having a sandwich". Made me laugh and I can see his point.

allegretto Mon 14-Mar-16 21:31:14

Same as you. I couldn't stop checking it and it was making me miserable.

HoneyBooBooChild Mon 14-Mar-16 21:31:41

Been lurking for such a long time but as I could have written your post I had to comment!

Moved away from Facebook as I was sick of the bragging posts and felt myself dropping to that level too blush I.e pics of new car, having to check in where you're going on holiday etc etc when I thought fuck this I'm off! Feel so much better off without keeping up with the Joneses.

also hate watching SIL plaster her 'perfect' life over fb and arse licking strangers when her real life is far from it!!

FortifiedWine Mon 14-Mar-16 21:34:35

I can see his point too Little - but still, nosiness gets the better of me. Well, it did. I know some (very few) people who have never made an account on there, and there is an aspect of mystery which is also quite nice.

Though I found that reading back the verbal diarrhoea and messages to all the wrong people after three glasses of wine from the previous night was enough reason to quit.

bloom7 Mon 14-Mar-16 21:36:28

Had it for a little while a couple of years ago.
Honestly think I just realised that I'm quite anti social and am only genuinely interested in the lives of a few people who I see anyway.

FortifiedWine Mon 14-Mar-16 21:37:15

Honey I too was sick of the bragging posts... one woman on my friends list listed all SEVEN holidays she was going on this year, UK and abroad, and how many days till each. I mean, dear lord. Also the professional engagement photos from various people, holding each others' glasses to drink out of... yuck ;)

Littlefluffyclouds81 Mon 14-Mar-16 21:39:44

Should have added that I can see his point BUT I'm a hopeless FB addict!

EverySongbirdSays Mon 14-Mar-16 21:41:06

I would love to leave Facebook - but I have a sister abroad and a very good friend from school and 2 from uni have also emigrated. It's just the quickest way to get hold of them. It is also the best way to keep up with my cousins son since my cousin left his wife, and some other pals that I can't see on a daily basis. I hate it and often wish I could leave (I know I can iyswim). I find it all very fake, and I think that the reason it can upset people and make them feel that they or their lives are somehow inferior, when in fact what is being presented is a public face and the reality is often quite different.
In addition when people do try and reach out to others on Facebook they get shot down. There's a girl from my school on my Facebook who often talks of how hard her life is etc, and she will get messages underneath from people who say they are sick of such statuses from her and that she should stop posting messages like this..... I check it regularly, but I never post any updates or go round posting on other peoples. I much prefer Twitter, where people tend to talk about issues and films and books and telly as opposed to tweeting pictures of nights out and boasts about this that and the other, oh, and the worst various 'inspiration' quotes and slogans such as 'if you don't want me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best' and other such pukery. Stay away, unless it's essential.

theycallmemellojello Mon 14-Mar-16 21:42:35

Can you go in it without posting and obsessing over others posts? I have it but only use it for event invites and the private messaging app, I don't post statuses. I cast my eye down my newsfeed very day or two but I don't get fixated or upset by it. If you can do this, then I think fb is useful, if you know you'll obsess then don't go back.

HoneyBooBooChild Mon 14-Mar-16 21:43:07

It's awful isn't it! I must admit I do have a deactivated account that I sometimes re-activate to have a little nosey every few weeks/months and this keeps me satisfied. I do have the fight the urge to comment 'no one gives a shit!' 'Let me play my tiny violin' and that's when I know I have to deactivate and get on with my real life, not pretend perfect Facebook life..

fusionconfusion Mon 14-Mar-16 21:46:05

I think you can choose to use it more wisely, too. I don't really use it for personal things anymore - I made a lot of "friends" through professional networks/conferences and one set of them in particular I noticed using facebook to network and disseminate and share new information. I got to join a few groups discussing innovative practices in the field and it helped me professionally no end the next time I shored up at a conference - I had made impressions on all these bigwigs and there was a sense we "knew" eachother because I also saw their personal posts.

Previously I just used it for boring fuckwittery. Now, bar a few photos of the family at birthdays and Christmas, it's mainly a way of forging professional links... and I am much saner for it, and use it much less.

Out2pasture Mon 14-Mar-16 21:46:54

hubby deactivated his not long ago, he was tired of the constant links to people he didn't know. I find the housekeeping tiresome (I don't care what my friends like I just want to maintain contact with those few friends I have not their friends and their family IYKWIM)
not sure if I need to unfollow them. I want to see the status updated on my friends only.

Iliketeaagain Mon 14-Mar-16 21:49:23

I deactivate frequently... I don't miss much, except all my family live far away from me so I always end up reactivating.

What works for me is to be strict about friends - only family and very close friends plus my privacy settings are such that only friends of friends can friend request me and I'm not searchable (stops getting all the rubbish of randoms you've met once).

Also, I've deleted the app from my phone and tablet so only go on fb on my computer, so it's a conscious decision to turn the computer on and log-in.

Friends and family know this, so I get messages on whatsapp or text rather than using fb messenger for quick messages.

JCleRoux Mon 14-Mar-16 21:50:45

I left FaceBook about three years ago and I am so glad I did. I would look at other's people's lives and feel like I have achieved nothing in mine. And the constant looking at notifications after posting a status/photo to check how many replies and likes I get... It was becoming unhealthy and I honestly don't think I have a healthy amount of self confidence to be on there. I now have a handful people in real life who are friends, not the 200 odd so-called friends on facebook.

FortifiedWine Mon 14-Mar-16 21:51:05

Never really 'got' Twitter, so never bothered with it. Instagram was an issue for a while, but Facebook was huge for me. The funny thing is, after weeks of it, not once have I really WANTED to go back on there! (Except when one friend was near due date - but she was sending me photos via text anyway).

It's funny how you don't miss it when you're gone though. I appreciate that people need it to keep in touch with some people - but mine had become full of people I didn't want but couldn't delete from seeing my posts - ie. DC's friends mums who I saw everyday, my boss, my mum, my siblings etc.

It's quite liberating. :D I'm still only deactivated though. Not sure about full deletion due to years worth of DCs pictures on there, plus quite liked the 'on this day' feature that I can look back on, should I ever have the strength to go on once a month for an hour and no more.

We shall see ;) Good luck everyone attempting to go cold turkey. It really is easier than you think.

Mousefinkle Mon 14-Mar-16 21:52:31

The longer you stay away from it the easier it gets. I was on it 2008-2011 before I ended up having some wayyyy blown out of all proportions epic argument with some cunt charming woman whom I'd never even met IRL. Can't even really remember what was said now or how it all came about but I just thought nah, not sticking around for crap like this... Let's remain in the real present world. Didn't go back to it till this year for tinder purposes wink. I set up a new account though so I literally only have people I like on there (and there's only 30 of them!).

It's just not real life. Instagram isn't either but I absolutely adore Instagram. Very little drama, some pretty amusing memes and cute animals/babies so, what's to lose. Facebooks drama central.

FortifiedWine Mon 14-Mar-16 21:54:15

JCLeRoux - Can totally relate to that. I would feel shit if no one liked my status. But then after a period of abstinece if I posted, lots of people would like anything I posted, which made me more inclined to post and therefore stay on. This time.... I. WILL. BE. STRONG. I will... halo

Mousefinkle Mon 14-Mar-16 21:54:35

This year, I meant last year. I got it back last summer for tinder which I deleted after all of two months anyway. Now I just browse FB very occasionally but it's pretty pointless given the number of 'friends' I have on there anyway. Instagram wins social media for me personally

FortifiedWine Mon 14-Mar-16 21:57:48

Mouse - Tinder is a dating app or am I wrong?! Also agree Instagram is awesome - but stopped using it when a random weirdo messaged me about my baby photos. Freaked me out.

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