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Or is DH about snack food?

(100 Posts)
BloodyPlantagenets Mon 14-Mar-16 19:42:00

This is petty, you have been warned.grin

We are skint (not on the breadline, but one income at the moment) and trying to cut back on things. We used to top the teenagers' lunch money up with £50 a month but this was unsustainable so now they take a packed lunch. Part of the lunch is a kit Kat or similar. So obvs we have these in the cupboard. Dh also takes a packed lunch.

I was at home with the preschooler today and after a big breakfast and lunch he was still hungry this afternoon. Our shopping day is tomorrow so there were slim pickings in the house, we'd run out of bananas and apples and there were only prawn cocktail crisps left so I gave him a kitkat.

Dh got really pissy about this when he got home, even though I'd made sure there were enough left for tomorrow. He says that I shouldn't let ds2 have the packed lunch food, I said that he's a growing boy and needs to eat between meals (he's a bit of a grazer anyway).

So the upshot is, I've ordered plenty of snacky things for everyone this week which means the food bill has gone up slightly. AIBU to think food is the one thing I'm not prepared to scrimp on, and dh needs to be a bit more accommodating about the whole 'snacks' issue? He thinks we should all be eating three meals and that's it except he eats at least four bowls of cereal a day.

He's just nipped out and I've put the online shop through, which he will check when he gets in and query all the snacks. So do I stand my ground or not?

MoreGilmoreGirls Mon 14-Mar-16 19:44:30

He checks your online food shop? Stand your ground. Are you allowed snacks OP? He is being unreasonable.

MrsHathaway Mon 14-Mar-16 19:45:17

If he wants a bottomless snack shelf for less money, he can spend his weekends baking.

If he delegates to you completely, you get the casting vote.

Re: cereal, did you see in the news that a food factory worker was caught pissing into the cereal before it was boxed?

Porridge is cheaper and more filling. He needs to learn to make it.

Penfold007 Mon 14-Mar-16 19:45:44

He sounds financially abusive if I take your post at face value. That said if your pre-schooler has had breakfast and lunch they don't need Kit-Kats.

BloodyPlantagenets Mon 14-Mar-16 19:45:46

Only to see if I've missed anything, or to make sure I haven't snuck in forty bottles of prosecco.

RubbleBubble00 Mon 14-Mar-16 19:46:07

If there was enough for work tomorrow then what's the issue? How did he even know ds had a kit kat?

CalleighDoodle Mon 14-Mar-16 19:46:46

Wow. Are things so desperate and youre on such completely different pages that he does not trust you to do the weekly shop and actually checks it? If so, youve bigger issues.

However, getting back to the point, it depends what the snacks are. Healthy snacks i woildnt scrimp on. Chocolate and crisps are junk foods, not snack foods.

carabos Mon 14-Mar-16 19:46:50

Why is he checking the online shop? He sounds very controlling. Fwiw, my DFather's mantra was "never try to save money on food or professional advice - it's a false economy".

PuntasticUsername Mon 14-Mar-16 19:47:37

So you gave a small child one KitKat as a one-off, there were still enough left for everyone else, and your DH still has the hump about it?

HIBU.

Pinkheart5915 Mon 14-Mar-16 19:47:59

Yes stand your ground.
I can't believ he would check your online shop, does he not trust you that much?
I think your right a pre schooler is growing and does need snacks, especially if he's saying his still a little hungry.

TooOldForGlitter Mon 14-Mar-16 19:48:02

He checks the online food shop? Is he under the misguided impression that he's in charge?

phequer Mon 14-Mar-16 19:48:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pinkheart5915 Mon 14-Mar-16 19:48:53

Also what puntasticusername said

phequer Mon 14-Mar-16 19:49:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HermioneJeanGranger Mon 14-Mar-16 19:50:12

If DP told me he had to check the food shop after I'd done it (and asked him what he wanted/needed) I'd be very hmm indeed. Can't you be trusted?

Sprink Mon 14-Mar-16 19:51:12

Growing children sometimes need snacks between meals, especially if they're active.

No adult needs three meals a day plus four bowls of cereal, unless they're training for something.

BloodyPlantagenets Mon 14-Mar-16 19:51:28

He only checks it because I tend to whizz through and miss things, or forget that we've already got three bags of pasta and buy another one. He very rarely queries what I've ordered but I know after the conversation we had about Kitkatgate that he will pick up on the snacky bits I've added and grump about it. He's really not abusive or controlling, but he keeps a tighter rein on our budget than I do.

phequer Mon 14-Mar-16 19:51:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedACleverNN Mon 14-Mar-16 19:51:57

Oh yes he is majorly unreasonable.

We are short of money at the moment but the one thing we don't scrimp on is food.

We have two small children and they need to eat and they need two healthy parents to care for them.

HanYOLO Mon 14-Mar-16 19:52:37

YANBU because you were caring for the child and it was your decision what to feed him, though bread and butter would have done the job better, if you'd got any.

Sorry you are feeling the pinch so much that your DH gets stressed out over a kit kat. We do try to keep packed lunch stuff just for packed lunch in this house. Otherwise everyone would eat lidl breakaways and crisps at every opportunity and not eat proper meals.

Sprink Mon 14-Mar-16 19:52:50

I'm not even sure I believe what I posted, but it felt very 'wise' when I typed it. grinwine

TattyDevine Mon 14-Mar-16 19:53:33

I wouldn't necessarily jump to the financially controlling conspiracy theory. Are people maybe being a little bit sexist? If a woman was checking over a big online shop to make sure her DH hadn't missed anything would that really seem so bad?

Snack food can be a money pit - I had to have a go at my DH for randomly grazing on expensive (for what they are) foods I had bought to put into our children's lunch box - things like mini babybells or those dreadful cheese strings, which are really expensive for what they are, or munching on slices of ham for sandwiches - I'd rather he got the block of cheddar out and grabbed a slice of that, it's better value for money. Babybells are convenient, in that they are the correct size portion and individually wrapped etc but you pay for that convenience and packaging.

Cereal is quite expensive for what it is too, though, so you can come back at him with that.

By all means stand your ground, but better still, go through your weekly shop WITH him and try and work out ways you can BOTH make savings, to everybody's satisfaction. That's what I'd try and do anyway...

Costacoffeeplease Mon 14-Mar-16 19:53:52

He sounds a bit of a twat tbh

VelvetCushion Mon 14-Mar-16 19:55:48

Sounds like a nightmare.
OP, go to your local pound shop if u have one. They do branded snacks, ie mars, twix, etc etc and loads of other stuff. Go and stock up, pay cash not debit card. Take the bag home and fucking hide it from the bastard.
Put stuff in kids school bag when he not around.

PerettiChelsea Mon 14-Mar-16 19:56:04

Exh was the same about 3 square meals & we used to butt heads about it regularly. I think kids need a snack mid morning & afternoon, they have small stomachs!

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