16 year old going to a gig in Camden.

[jellycake]

I need some really clear views especially from people who live in London and the surrounding area. Ds is 16, 17 in August wants to go to a 14+ gig in Camden next Monday night. I have said no. We live in Basildon so it's easy to get there but to get to Camden, he would need to get three tubes.
My reasons are:

1. He has college the next day.
2. He is only 16
3. It's in Camden which will be fine to get to, but dodgier getting home if the gig doesn't finish til gone 10. Last train home is 11:05 pm.

He is currently not talking to me
AIBU? I lived in a tiny Welsh village as a teenager and never wanted to do this sort of thing. He has been up to London with a group of friends before but that was in the day for a Comic Con.
Feeling guilty and unreasonable, don't have a DP/ DH to discuss this with.

[swooosh]

I used to go all the time from age 15 from about the same distance as you. We all had great fun and made it to our lessons the next day!

[DontKillMyVibe]

As long as he leaves himself enough time to catch the last train home I would let him go.

[Gowgirl]

He will be fine! Camden is hardly the Bronx! Just make sure he's clear about the route home

[Eve]

Do you have my DS ? Mine is negotiating to go to a gig at Easter in Camden, however to get home he needs to cross London to Waterloo.

I to have said no, mines not aware enough of how to use tube, trains etc. He's not streetwise enough (small Hampshire village!)

[jellycake]

Oh! Now I feel really bad...will rethink!

[Savagebeauty]

Of course he'll be fine. Ds regularly goes there and we live in Surrey.
Just because you never did it, doesn't mean he shouldn't go and have fun.

[Gowgirl]

I'm just sad that I'm too old now, DS 1 is going to love it though. Obviously make him check he has phone credit, fares etc....

[Mistigri]

The only issue is the last train. Where does the train from Basildon leave from - I would guess it's from Liverpool St? So he has to factor in travel time from Camden to the mainline station.

The headliner will most likely be on around 9.30 and will finish around 11pm so he may miss most of the actual gig.

[bornwithaplasticspoon]

Dd has been going to gigs all over tje country since she was 16 and progressed onto music festivals, Reading etc at 17. My stipulations are:

A) She travels and stays with a friend the whole time.
B) Travel arrangements are sorted out beforehand. I like to see train/coach tickets
C) She has fully charged phone and takes a mobile charger
D) She texts me regularly

[jellycake]

He's going to love you lot! I will tell him I've changed my mind!

[ThreadyPants]

I'm so pleased you're letting him go. I love gigs and Camden isn't a terrible place! He'll have a great time. Then come back desperate to do it all over again

[ifyoulikepinacolada]

He'll be fine - Camden's pretty tame nowadays. So long as he keeps in regular contact and has a back up plan if any part of the journey goes wrong.

[titchy]

Yes in principle you should let him go - how else will he learn! He should be with a group though all travelling together. And yes he needs to allow plenty of time for the last train which may well mean missing most of it. Camden isn't that dodgy as long as he keeps cash and phone deep in pockets not flashed around, and should be ok on a weeknight.

[ThreadyPants]

Gowgirl no-one is too old for a gig!

[Archfarchnad]

Hi jelly, we've faced gig-related questions too recently, but we do live in a different country so the legal situation is a bit different.

A big issue for me would be that he would have to be going with at least one (reliable) friend. I'd be very unhappy with him going all alone.

1. College next day: not ideal by any means, but tell him sternly that if he misses college the next day as a result, there will be no money from you for forthcoming for future gigs, and no events on week nights until he's 18 and can decide for himself. I went with DD2 to a gig last Thursday and it was very clear to her that she would have to be functioning the day after - and she did so. I also stressed that it was an exception because she really wanted to see the singer.
   

1. Only 16: not too young as long as he's with friends and is allowed to go in without an adult. DD1 went to concerts with friends at that age in a big city. I'm assuming your DS doesn't have special needs which would make it more tricky for him to cope.
   

1. Small risk of missing train home: potentially bigger problem, but don't most concerts on week nights finish by 10 or so anyway because the venues are aware that people have to get up early the next day. If he's going with a friend can he sleep at someone's house who lives nearer, or would a friend's parent be able to pick them up from where they get stuck? Ask your DS to come up with a contingency plan for what might happen if he misses the last train (one that doesn't involve him phoning you and whining 'help me mum').
   

If all those conditions are fulfilled - he promises to go to college, he's with friends, and he has an emergency plan - then I'd let him go.

[Mistigri]

PS you could call the venue for timings, but in my long experience of gigs in London typically the headliner will be officially due on at 9 but often it won't be until closer to 9.15 or 9.30. Most bands will play for about 1 hr 15.

[Backingvocals]

I grew up in the suburbs but spent a lot of my teenage years commuting to Camden or New Cross or somewhere daft for nightlife purposes. And I was really square . Honestly it's really a normal thing to do. Ok I was used to navigating the tubes but I'm sure he'll manage if you plan it out first. Anyway it's only 16 yos that can be arses with that kind of journey. By the time he's our age he'd do anything to avoid a lengthy tube journey across London but at his age it's still exciting.

[Mousefinkle]

Crikey... I was wandering around Camden with my slightly older punk boyfriend aged 15 well into the early hours . And went to plenty of gigs from 14 onwards on my own. He'll be absolutely fine. I left home at 16 to put into perspective how well 16 year olds can cope with life. He's hardly trekking through the Bronx.

[bornwithaplasticspoon]

Cowgirl, I've been to a few with dd and had a brilliant time!

[Backingvocals]

Can be arsed not can be arses. We know they can be arses but that's a whole other thread.

[ThreadyPants]

I was wandering around a foreign city with a small group of friends at 17!

As do many youngsters.

[BertrandRussell]

Right. People who would/are saying no, stop and think clearly. What are the bad things you think might happen? Honestly, I'm not being a git. I insisted on collecting my 15 year old from a friends on Saturday even though he wanted to get the last train. Because he would have had to walk through a very rough bit of town where there are frequently nasty incidents, and then travel on a train where there would be very few other passengers and most of them drunk or drugged. But I would be and have been absolutely fine with him traveling to and through London. There are always plenty of people about. The tube is easy to do if you plan in advance, and Camden is not a dangerous area. And there will be a sort of tidal flow to the station after a gig like that, so there will be plenty of other young people about.

[LynetteScavo]

I recently started a similar thread re; my just turned 17yo who didn't know the route, and was going alone.

I was told I was being silly.

It turned out I was, and DS was fine and had a fab time.

Check out what time it finishes though. I think it was just luck that the gig DS went to finished in time for him to get the 10.50 train home. The last train was 11.10, and I was convinced he'd miss it.

Get him to find out how much of it he'd miss if he left at 10pm.

You do know if you were a totally cool mum you would drive him, wait round the corner and drive him home, don't you.

[jellycake]

I have told him but given him my list of stipulations e.g knowing the route, regular contact and told him if he doesn't stick to them, he won't go again til he's 18