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Aibu to think this is cruel?

(130 Posts)
summerdreams Mon 14-Mar-16 17:58:52

Was at a hospital appointment today with my 19 month old there was a mum and dad with a pram, 4 month old and a 2.5 year old it was a small playroom/waiting room the ages are guesses by the way.
They walked in 2.5 year old on reins and put the reins under the wheel of the pram so the little boy could only sit on the floor next to the pram no toys near enough to play with and the couple sat there dad reading a magazine and mum breastfeeding the 4 month old. I found this really odd and I could see other parents looking also. Its been annoying me since coming home the little boy was very quiet and never said much I keep tryna think of reasons for doing this and cannot really. We was at main childrens hospital and I understand people come from all over the country and are tired and stressed but cannot think why you'd tie your child up and ignore them ? Aibu hmm

pinkyredrose Mon 14-Mar-16 18:00:38

Jeez can you pull those judgy pants any higher?! You know nothing about them, mind your own business.

pinkyredrose Mon 14-Mar-16 18:00:59


Twitterqueen Mon 14-Mar-16 18:04:19

yes YABU. The child wasn't tied up, he was in reins. OK the dad was somewhat self-centred in not finding a toy or taking the child on his lap and entertaining him, but you can't be a full on parent 100% of the time. And if the mum was breastfeeding clearly she couldn't manage both of them.

You don't say that the child was distressed or crying or bored or anything - just that he was quiet. So what? And you are projecting and being judgmental about "seeing other parents looking."

I think you need to MYOB

VelvetCushion Mon 14-Mar-16 18:07:05

YANBU. I would find it odd as well. You are not being judgey just making an observation and asking opinions. Ignore the high and mighty police!

DaffodilsandTruffles Mon 14-Mar-16 18:10:00

I've been judged (loudly) for attaching my two kamikazi runners to a trolley by their reins.

The woman being rude to me saw a 10 minute snapshot of my life and decided how unreasonable I was - she was wrong.

It does seem odd that he wasn't given a toy to play with but if he wasn't distressed I'm afraid YABU in this instance.

HoggleHoggle Mon 14-Mar-16 18:13:37

Actually I think that's a bit shit. I get you can't entertain a child all the time etc but for 2 parents to be on hand and for neither to interact with the toddler or give him something for him to amuse himself with, that's crap.

AnyFucker Mon 14-Mar-16 18:15:28

it was obviously a child friendly area with toys etc, so yes I agree that was a bit worrying tbh

SaucyJack Mon 14-Mar-16 18:18:27


This is not China. We do not tie 2 year old humans to immovable objects.

Even more sad that he was clearly used to it IMO.

SweetieDrops Mon 14-Mar-16 18:19:21

Maybe I'm PFB but I've thought twice a few times about letting DD play with the communal toys at the doctors since some people don't seem to think twice about bringing their kids there with chickenpox or d&v. Maybe they felt the same way or their child has something they don't want to pass on to others.

SalemSaberhagen Mon 14-Mar-16 18:28:07

I'm the same sweetie, our doctors has a little plastic Wendy house in it but I never let DD play in it. I'm sure she would come out with more germs than she went in with!

Sunnyshores Mon 14-Mar-16 18:29:33

YANBU, it would seem to be crap parenting, even if only a 10 minute snapshot. But theres nothing you can do in this instance, so dont let it upset/annoy you.

lljkk Mon 14-Mar-16 18:31:16

I'd understand as a temporary measure when hands full. But to plonk kid down to be bored & just ignore so parent could read a magazine, ugh. yanbu, it was odd.

Inneedofadvice553 Mon 14-Mar-16 18:33:18

ridiculous to judge in a hospital. I NEVER let my dd touch any toys in the doctors surgery or hospital because of germs.

OP what was your dc doing? playing with the toys? maybe the judge police should come down on you for exposing your child to excess germs??!!!

mind your own business!

Mouthfulofquiz Mon 14-Mar-16 18:34:48

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

summerdreams Mon 14-Mar-16 18:35:29

The reason im asking is because im not ususally one to judje and thats why I was trying to think of a reason. I was there for an hour and neither parent spoke to the boy but both spoke to the baby it made me feel a little sad. Thats all, oh and I did mind my own buisness never said anything just asked on here for anyone elses opinions on it, I also found it off that the little boy sat there in quietly for so long with no interaction because there other children and toys around.

Theimpossiblegirl Mon 14-Mar-16 18:36:16

I think some people are being a bit harsh for the sake of it. I would have judged too. Tying a child up like that and not interacting is odd. To do it so publicly also makes me think they think nothing of it and the fact the child just sits there and accepts it signals this may be the norm. Very strange way to look after a child.

summerdreams Mon 14-Mar-16 18:38:23

Hi before any body starts about germs my son is extremely immune compromised neutropenic with an immune deficiensey these appointments your not aloud to unless your child is 100% well they send letters out explaining as many of the children are immuno compromised . Otherwise theres an isolation bit fyi.

RudeElf Mon 14-Mar-16 18:38:28

Wow! A 2.5 year old sat still and quiet for an hour despite toys and other DC around? confused

That is no 2.5 year old I know!

Micah Mon 14-Mar-16 18:39:40

I can't get past 'tryna'.

Me neither. Or "we was".

My first thought is the child is autistic or similar- my friends DC is extremely so- doesn't interact and is happier being left in his own world. In a new situation like a dr's surgery trying to engage him and pull him out of his own head would have led to a lot of stress. Securing him for his own safety and leaving him be is the safest and best option.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Mon 14-Mar-16 18:39:44

Tryna is unreasonable.

It seems sad that the tied down boy was so quiet and resigned. I would expect some fuss from a toddler who could see toys but not reach them. sad

Witchend Mon 14-Mar-16 18:39:47

Dd1 used to ask for reins on. She loved the security of feeling attached, with the slight independence.

Theimpossiblegirl Mon 14-Mar-16 18:48:15

It's not very fair to pick up on grammar/spelling. This is not pedants' corner.

summerdreams Mon 14-Mar-16 18:48:34

theimpossiblegirl these are exactly my thoughts

summerdreams Mon 14-Mar-16 18:50:29

About the child not the spelling thats just a mumsnet thing. Should have not been talking to my child while typing will tie him to pram next time wink

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