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My garden is not a toilet

(68 Posts)
GingerMerkin Mon 14-Mar-16 15:27:02

For the second time in a week I have looked out of my front window to see a woman allowing her child to go to the toilet in my front garden. The first time I was surprised and revolted but thought these things happen and DC might have been taken short. Think it is a bit much for the same thing to happen again within the week, same woman and same child. I have got the rage big time and am contemplating either ripping the mum multiple arseholes so I can use her as a sprinkler system or chucking a bucket of water over her.

WWYD wise MNers.

MaidOfStars Mon 14-Mar-16 15:30:38

Pee or poo? Not sure it matters but I'm nosy enough to want to know....

Is the child entering through a gate or just peeing (assume it's this) and it happens to be next to/on your garden?

BertrandRussell Mon 14-Mar-16 15:30:54

What, actually lifting child over the wall into your garden?

GingerMerkin Mon 14-Mar-16 15:32:50

Is pee and they are walking into the garden and slinking round behind a large bush to one side.

RidersOnTheStorm Mon 14-Mar-16 15:34:15

I'd have been banging on the window and making rude gestures.

jlivingstone Mon 14-Mar-16 15:34:36

Fill up some water bombs! Use on either/or/both child/mother.

BertrandRussell Mon 14-Mar-16 15:34:48

I'd probably just grin and think that human pee is not as repulsively smelly as fox pee. But I am, by mumsnet standards, a slattern.

MaidOfStars Mon 14-Mar-16 15:35:31

Water pistol.

GingerMerkin Mon 14-Mar-16 15:36:26

Has been about the same time of day both occasions. Wondering if she visits every day and I haven't noticed. Will have to wait and Spring out tomorrow. Don't want to frighten the DC but the mum needs an arsehole ripping.

GingerMerkin Mon 14-Mar-16 15:37:07

Bertrand, thinking of the pong come summer.

scarlets Mon 14-Mar-16 15:37:37

Open the front door when the kid is mid-flow and say, "may I help?"

Seriously if it happens a third time you need to say something

Finola1step Mon 14-Mar-16 15:37:46

Once is unfortunate.
Twice is taking the piss. Boom boom.

I would go out and tell you to remove herself and her child from my property. Tell her you have seen her do this twice and suspect there have been other incidents. Tell her that if she does it again, you will report her to the police for trespass.

Owllady Mon 14-Mar-16 15:37:51

We get male cyclists doing it against our hedge even when it's bare. I don't know whether they think people in the country are used to full frontal nudity or what hmm

BarbaraofSeville Mon 14-Mar-16 15:38:54

The cheek of some people. shock I can understand desperation once, but not a regular occurrence. I assume that your garden is obviously attached to your house and can't be mistaken for public land in any way?

While walking in the countryside I've seen notices with various degrees of politeness, stating that front gardens and driveways are not dog toilets - maybe you could put up a similar notice?

GingerMerkin Mon 14-Mar-16 15:41:05

Slightly wild looking garden but with gate that is always closed, no excuse I think.

ToadsforJustice Mon 14-Mar-16 15:41:18

I would lie in wait with a super soaker water pistol and I would attack the mother as soon as they appeared.

usual Mon 14-Mar-16 15:46:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsmugoo Mon 14-Mar-16 15:48:02

Same as usual, just open the door and politely ask them to stop.

KondosSecretJunkRoom Mon 14-Mar-16 15:51:21

Just have a firm word with the mum if it happens again but it's not necessary to be so aggressive about the whole thing. It's just a little boy - you don't need to get to asshole ripping levels unless he is writing profanities across your wall in piss.

YouAreMyRain Mon 14-Mar-16 15:55:36

Human urine is excellent for plants. Ecologically minded people were into containers and put it around their garden or into their compost. One child's wee would be less than a cupful. Most would soak into the ground. It won't stink in the summer at all, you are being very over dramatic.

It's impolite and not socially accepted, (and quite odd that there seems to be a routine rather that being caught short) but nothing more than that.

Aeroflotgirl Mon 14-Mar-16 15:57:55

Yanbu if you see it again go out and say something. No need to be scarey, but please do not use my garden as a toilet, I have seen you let your child use it on a few occasions type thing.

Sagethyme Mon 14-Mar-16 16:06:41

Plant a blueberry bush there, they love acidic soil! Or even better wineberry they are very prickly!

Paulat2112 Mon 14-Mar-16 16:10:06

YANBU! That is very weird!! I have three kids so i know if they got to go, they got to go! But no in someone's garden! Today ds2 (he is only 2) needed a wee when we were out dog walking and we found a piece of public land and he did a wee in a bush! I would never let any of my kids pee in someone's garden! That is a brass neck and incredibly rude!

kaymondo Mon 14-Mar-16 16:11:07

You should definitely say something and ask her not to allow her child to do it again but I can kind of understand how it happens. Kids are funny about remembering when they've been allowed to pee in unusual places - ie. I've had to pull over to let DS pee by the side of the road before. Now every time we go down that particular way he says he needs to go by the side of the road again. I know it's a try-on as he likes the novelty so make him wait but others may not. Having said that, she should never have let him go in your garden the first time! I can't imagine what would possess her to think that it was okay!

specialsubject Mon 14-Mar-16 16:11:36

it's no use for compost until the child is past puberty, and then only if male.

but walking into your garden is unbelievable. Small kids can wee in drains.

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