Going to the gym after a funeral

[TrixieBlue2016]

A colleague at work DM died last week and the funeral is tomorrow afternoon. Most of our team is going to the service but not the wake.

I usually go to the gym after work. However I mentioned the funeral to my DSis who thinks going to the gym 2 hours after a funeral is bad form. A social no no.

Aibu to go anyway?

[MirandaWest]

How would anyone know what you're doing? Unless they also went to the gym
in which case they'd be there anyway

[PestilentialCat]

Up to you but I wouldn't go to the funeral in gym kit

[TheSinkingFeeling]

I can't see how this is 'bad form'

[acasualobserver]

Who would ever know you went to the gym or home or anywhere else. However, you might want to change first.

[dementedpixie]

Yes it's ok to go

[PiperChapstick]

Eh? What are you supposed to do? Sit in a dark room and wear only black for 3 months YANBU

[SpuriouserAndSpuriouser]

I think that as it isn't a close relative or anything, it's fine to go to the service, pay your respects, and then carry on with whatever you would normally be doing.

[madein1995]

If you tell people/others know you are going to the gym, ir leave early to go, then that is bad form. Otherwise, provided no one knows I'd say it more acceptable. Surprised that you want to go to the gym afterwards though, and certainly not something I'd be telling the deceased family!

[ProfessorPickles]

What a strange view! If it was your own DM then yes it would be a bit weird to pop down to the gym afterwards.

I'd say it's absolutely fine!

[VelvetCushion]

What is wrong with going to the gym? You would have done your bit in attending the funeral. After that you can do as you like

[TwistAndShout]

I came home and did a DVD exercise workout after my grandfathers funeral. Cleared my head. Can't see how going to the gym is any worse.

[nattyknitter]

Life goes on and it isn't like you were close to the deceased.

Even if it were your own mother, I wouldn't react, as people deal with grief in their own ways.

[AyeAmarok]

Of course you're not being unreasonable!

[LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett]

Your SIL is weird.

[TrixieBlue2016]

It is common knowledge I go to the gym everyday after work (I had a heart attack last year) obviously won't be wearing gym clothes to the funeral.

My DSis thinks you should 'pause life' to remember the dead. I agree to an extent but - this sounds terrible, I'm going to show support to a colleague not as someone who is grieving if you see what I mean.

[WorraLiberty]

Your DSis is being weird.

She was your colleague's Mum, not your own Mum.

Perfectly fine to go to the gym.

[hollieberrie]

I agree with your DSis I'm afraid. Each to their own but I wouldnt do it. It just doesnt sit comfortably with me.

[choirmumoftwo]

Dh and me went to a friend's dad's funeral this week and took the opportunity of an unplanned afternoon off work to go out for lunch afterwards. I can't see the problem. You're going to support your colleague and will have fulfilled that role admirably I'm sure.

[expatinscotland]

I doubt he will know or care where you go after the funeral. Your sister is being weird.

[abbsismyhero]

sackcloth and ashes much? really the endorphins released by exercise will cheer you up no end everyone should go to the gym and be happy

[RockUnit]

It's fine to go to the gym.

[bakeoffcake]

I'm going to a funeral tomorrow morning. I'm going to carry on with my day as normal, in the afternoon.
Anyone who suggests otherwise is a bit weird tbh.

Even if it were a close friend or relative, people grieve in different ways and I'd never judge anyone on what they choose to do after a funeral.

[HanYOLO]

So long as you don't say, "right I'm off to spin class" at the crematorium I think you're ok on this one.

But maybe be prepared to go to the wake if she especially asks you to on the day?

[TheFormidableMrsC]

YANBU. Dsis is weird. Exercise cleanses the soul agree with don't go in gym kit