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Going to the gym after a funeral

(52 Posts)
TrixieBlue2016 Sun 13-Mar-16 22:31:56

A colleague at work DM died last week and the funeral is tomorrow afternoon. Most of our team is going to the service but not the wake.

I usually go to the gym after work. However I mentioned the funeral to my DSis who thinks going to the gym 2 hours after a funeral is bad form. A social no no.

Aibu to go anyway?

MirandaWest Sun 13-Mar-16 22:33:28

How would anyone know what you're doing? Unless they also went to the gym
in which case they'd be there anyway

PestilentialCat Sun 13-Mar-16 22:33:34

Up to you but I wouldn't go to the funeral in gym kit


TheSinkingFeeling Sun 13-Mar-16 22:34:27

I can't see how this is 'bad form'

acasualobserver Sun 13-Mar-16 22:34:49

Who would ever know you went to the gym or home or anywhere else. However, you might want to change first.

dementedpixie Sun 13-Mar-16 22:35:30

Yes it's ok to go

PiperChapstick Sun 13-Mar-16 22:35:52

Eh? What are you supposed to do? Sit in a dark room and wear only black for 3 months hmm YANBU

SpuriouserAndSpuriouser Sun 13-Mar-16 22:36:11

I think that as it isn't a close relative or anything, it's fine to go to the service, pay your respects, and then carry on with whatever you would normally be doing.

madein1995 Sun 13-Mar-16 22:36:38

If you tell people/others know you are going to the gym, ir leave early to go, then that is bad form. Otherwise, provided no one knows I'd say it more acceptable. Surprised that you want to go to the gym afterwards though, and certainly not something I'd be telling the deceased family!

ProfessorPickles Sun 13-Mar-16 22:37:05

What a strange view! If it was your own DM then yes it would be a bit weird to pop down to the gym afterwards.

I'd say it's absolutely fine!

VelvetCushion Sun 13-Mar-16 22:37:47

What is wrong with going to the gym? You would have done your bit in attending the funeral. After that you can do as you like

TwistAndShout Sun 13-Mar-16 22:37:58

I came home and did a DVD exercise workout after my grandfathers funeral. Cleared my head. Can't see how going to the gym is any worse.

nattyknitter Sun 13-Mar-16 22:46:20

Life goes on and it isn't like you were close to the deceased.

Even if it were your own mother, I wouldn't react, as people deal with grief in their own ways.

AyeAmarok Sun 13-Mar-16 22:48:02

Of course you're not being unreasonable!

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Sun 13-Mar-16 22:49:58

Your SIL is weird.

TrixieBlue2016 Sun 13-Mar-16 22:50:45

It is common knowledge I go to the gym everyday after work (I had a heart attack last year) obviously won't be wearing gym clothes to the funeral.

My DSis thinks you should 'pause life' to remember the dead. I agree to an extent but - this sounds terrible, I'm going to show support to a colleague not as someone who is grieving if you see what I mean.

WorraLiberty Sun 13-Mar-16 22:52:10

Your DSis is being weird.

She was your colleague's Mum, not your own Mum.

Perfectly fine to go to the gym.

hollieberrie Sun 13-Mar-16 22:58:23

I agree with your DSis I'm afraid. Each to their own but I wouldnt do it. It just doesnt sit comfortably with me.

choirmumoftwo Sun 13-Mar-16 23:01:54

Dh and me went to a friend's dad's funeral this week and took the opportunity of an unplanned afternoon off work to go out for lunch afterwards. I can't see the problem. You're going to support your colleague and will have fulfilled that role admirably I'm sure.

expatinscotland Sun 13-Mar-16 23:11:49

I doubt he will know or care where you go after the funeral. Your sister is being weird.

abbsismyhero Sun 13-Mar-16 23:16:33

sackcloth and ashes much? really the endorphins released by exercise will cheer you up no end everyone should go to the gym and be happy

RockUnit Sun 13-Mar-16 23:20:36

It's fine to go to the gym.

bakeoffcake Sun 13-Mar-16 23:21:37

I'm going to a funeral tomorrow morning. I'm going to carry on with my day as normal, in the afternoon.
Anyone who suggests otherwise is a bit weird tbh.

Even if it were a close friend or relative, people grieve in different ways and I'd never judge anyone on what they choose to do after a funeral.

HanYOLO Sun 13-Mar-16 23:22:17

So long as you don't say, "right I'm off to spin class" at the crematorium I think you're ok on this one.

But maybe be prepared to go to the wake if she especially asks you to on the day?

MadamDeathstare Sun 13-Mar-16 23:26:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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