Aibu to think people who rather a child stay in care than be adopted by gays

(275 Posts)
Catvsworld Sun 13-Mar-16 20:34:18

Aibu to think people who would rather a child stay in foster care rather than be adopted by gays have real issues are there hatred of gays is more important than a child's well being

Following on from this idiot judge to was quite rightly removed for allowing his personal feeling on gay adoption rather than applying the law

Listing to the bbc London and so many people Felt a child was better off in care

As an adopter myself this is not a issue of gay vs straight couple it's a issue of gay vs a life in care with many moves

And tbh if straight parents were that fab the children wouldn't be in care all the children we fostered came from straight parents

I just wonder if these people could aculoy look a child in the face and say there is a gay couple who wants you but I think it best yu stay in care for your natrual born shock with a straight face

Also they don't factor in for some children who have been abused by say men two women would be ideal for that child ect

ConfuciousSayWhat Sun 13-Mar-16 20:35:49

Eh? My council is actively promoting the fact they're seeking lgbt foster carers and adoptive parents. I think so long as the child is looked after most people don't give a shit

Catvsworld Sun 13-Mar-16 20:36:11

Sorry but this really boils my piss

And these bigots clearly have no idea the damage that's done by a child not having a permant home

Catvsworld Sun 13-Mar-16 20:38:19

You say that listing in to the phone in on the radio

Many people were supportive of the judge and his stance that a mum and dad is best and that gays shouldn't really adopt

And to be honest I wouldn't have thought in 2016 a judge would need to be removed due to this matter

dazedandconfused17 Sun 13-Mar-16 20:42:24

Yes! He should be removed. A magistrate who wants the right to bring his bigotry into his work should not be there.

infife Sun 13-Mar-16 20:43:24

Well, you'll hate me then. I'm a gay foster carer who is also approved to adopt.

infife Sun 13-Mar-16 20:44:21

.... That'll teach me not to just read the headline and get angry and post!

ConfuciousSayWhat Sun 13-Mar-16 20:44:37

You do have to wonder on the mentality of people who phone in to these kind of shows.

Judges should be impartial and do right by the child by parking their prejudices at the door

Catvsworld Sun 13-Mar-16 20:44:49

He has a right to feel the way he dose but not to allow that to inter fear with his work his job is to apply the law gay people can adopt and if social services who have assed a couple think they can meet the child's needs then the AO should be granted end of.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 13-Mar-16 20:45:20

Why would op hate you, infife?


Alisvolatpropiis Sun 13-Mar-16 20:46:25

Ignore me, slow typing!

People who hold that view are clearly ridiculous, op.

KayKayKK Sun 13-Mar-16 20:46:25

Ali they said they judged he title wrong smile

PovertyPain Sun 13-Mar-16 20:46:40

That'll teach me not to just read the headline and get angry and post!

Lmao. I just came on to swear at OP and tell them that I was going to report them, the goady fucker! grin

Catvsworld Sun 13-Mar-16 20:46:52

I did think that I strongly believe

Any one how can meet a child needs and is willing and able should be welcomed by ss with open arms supported and thank by the public and birth parents

WilLiAmHerschel Sun 13-Mar-16 20:47:24

I wonder if those who think a child is better off in care than with a gay couple think the same about children living with a single parent.

WorraLiberty Sun 13-Mar-16 20:48:00

And tbh if straight parents were that fab the children wouldn't be in care all the children we fostered came from straight parents

That's a bit of a ridiculous thing to say.

Parents are parents - gay or straight.

Some of them have issues and so their children may end up in care. Some of them also die and their children end up in care.

It has nothing to do with being straight and 'fab' or not as the case may be.

Catvsworld Sun 13-Mar-16 20:48:07

Think is I thought on 2016 my view was in the majority but after listening to the show I fear I am wrong

Catvsworld Sun 13-Mar-16 20:50:05

poster WorraLiberty

Not really because the up shot of the phone in is straight parents are better parents

What I am saying is that's clearly not true of the children wouldn't be in care

WorraLiberty Sun 13-Mar-16 20:50:06

You're not wrong. I'd say your view is very much in the majority, thankfully.

One radio show doesn't speak for the whole nation.

The judge is a twat and so are those who agree with him.

Pinkheart5915 Sun 13-Mar-16 20:50:13

I always think it is so stupid when I hear people say gay people shouldn't be allowed to foster/adopt, at the end of the day all the child needs is a loving home and if a same sex couple can give them that then why shouldn't they be allowed.
Trouble is even in 2016 there are still people they have issues with people because of sexuality, race or such like.

WilLiAmHerschel Sun 13-Mar-16 20:50:33

The radio station might have been more interested to hear from people with that view so might have aired more calls from people who think that way than those that don't. I'm sure there are still probably far too many people who think gay people shouldn't adopt but hopefully it isn't as bad as it seems.

WorraLiberty Sun 13-Mar-16 20:51:48

What I am saying is that's clearly not true of the children wouldn't be in care

My sister died and so her kids went into care. She was a 'fab' parent imo and in the opinion of many others.

Some parents aren't 'fab' of course, and this has nothing to do with whether they're gay or straight.

MadauntofA Sun 13-Mar-16 20:54:11

He was a magistrate and his point was that as adoption by gay couple was only legalised 10ish yrs ago, there is no evidence about the long term effects of placing vulnerable children with them. He felt that it was more natural to have a male and female parent. I don't agree with the "natural" point, but understand that he has his opinion. In an adoption panel, that opinion is likely to be outvoted by the other members who have more balanced views. Each adopter/ couple has its own strengths and above all, the child should be placed at the centre of the decision, not the couple's rights. I have seen many single/ same sex and both sex adopters, some of whom did an amazing job, some average, and some needed a lot of support. The evidence is clear that children as a whole do better in a stable long term placement, but sometimes that isn't adoption, and sometimes long term foster care is better for that child.

TeenAndTween Sun 13-Mar-16 21:10:29

The other thing that gets missed, is that sometimes a gay couple may actually be better for a child than a straight one.

e.g. A child that has been abused by the birth father and has massive distrust and fear of men may be better off placed with a lesbian couple.
e.g. A child who still has a very strong attachment to birth mother may be better off placed with 2 men as they won't be 'competing' for affection.

In the same way, sometimes a single person may be better than a couple for some children as they don't need to 'share' and there is no opportunity for 'splitting' the parents and causing conflict.

80schild Sun 13-Mar-16 21:14:00

Clearly, it shouldn't be the case of one being better than another. It should be whatever is best for the child - not in for the idea of positive discrimination either.

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