My feed
Premium
Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

Is this normal and how do I handle it?

38 replies

StealthPolarBear · 13/03/2016 18:26

Ds has just said when he was playing out earlier that a neighbours child threatened to punch him. Dd heard it as well.
Ds is 9, other child is ten.

OP posts:
Report
wonderingsoul · 13/03/2016 18:29

I'd say it was pretty normal. Horrid but normal.

I'd ask what started it and advise son to not to play with him for bit or what to do if it happened

Report
StealthPolarBear · 13/03/2016 18:30

Well it happened about a year ago too, while I made a fuss of ds and told him not to worry I did reserve judgement. Now I am absolutely livid. Poor ds.

OP posts:
Report
StealthPolarBear · 13/03/2016 18:31

But that k you. My heart rate is coming down a but.

OP posts:
Report
StealthPolarBear · 13/03/2016 18:34

Do I say anything when I see the child? Despite my anger I will be calm.

OP posts:
Report
abbsismyhero · 13/03/2016 18:37

no never say anything to the child if the other child is 10 they can be spoken to by the police

Report
Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 13/03/2016 18:37

It is quite normal. Where I live you go and talk to the parents (in a friendly way working on the assumption parents will be horrified and give kid a good talking to). It might not be that awful - kids say all sorts of nonesense - or it could be really aggressive and threatening, it is hard to know where on the spectrum from "child unthinkingly spouting nonsense" to "horrible, aggressive, threatening, get into mother lion mode" it lies without knowing the ins and outs of the situation and personalities.

Report
StealthPolarBear · 13/03/2016 18:38

Ok I will not talk to the child. Not even a sarcastic "how's the punching arm?"
I assume I'm allowed to completely blank the child :o

OP posts:
Report
StealthPolarBear · 13/03/2016 18:44

I will be practicing the deathstare though.
At times I want to pack mu family up and run away to a cabin in the middle of nowhere. They can have pets instead of friends.

OP posts:
Report
Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 13/03/2016 18:44

We had a lot of problems almost a year ago with my then only just 8 year old and two of his 7 year old friends being attacked physically by a boy 18 months older who DS had been friends with (though the other two boys never had been).

It turned out not to be as simple as it seemed, and one of the 7 year olds had been taunting the older boy mercilessly over a long period, mostly verbally but also damaging his bag, and to our shame DS and the other friend were guilty by association having stood by and watched and sometimes laughed :( The older boy did actually do damage to the main taunter, though nothing that serious, and shook DS up badly... he was bigger than all of them and prone to aggressive outbursts, so easy to assume he was the only one in the wrong, but actually it wasn't that straight forward, and it often isn't.

We sorted it out between the parents, though I know MN never advises that. Ds and the older boy get on well again now and the others steer well clear of him and he of them and they leave each other alone.

Report
StealthPolarBear · 13/03/2016 18:46

I do accept ds may have been irritating tjem (apparently one of the older ones had told him to go away and then come back and be quiet). But I can't see any reason for threatening violence. Dd agreed that they had been bullying him (and she stood by and let it happen which she's been told off for).
I am getting The Rage again. :)

OP posts:
Report
StealthPolarBear · 13/03/2016 18:53

Can I adopt a punchy nick name

OP posts:
Report
rogueantimatter · 13/03/2016 18:54

Aww. Don't get The Rage - 10YO boy won't be affected by it. Most children are pretty idiotic from time to time and you probably don't know about any problems this boy might have in his life or the full story. He didn't hurt your DS.

Being a parent is very hard sometimes Flowers

Report
StealthPolarBear · 13/03/2016 18:55

It's a girl actually. Ds is the only boy which I think is part of the problem.

OP posts:
Report
TrinityForce · 13/03/2016 18:56

I think you're overreacting, sorry. It sounds normal to me.

Perhaps a martial arts class for DS and DD, for some confidence and arse kicking tricks?

Report
StealthPolarBear · 13/03/2016 18:57

The death stare needs some work. I've tried in the mirror and it's just my face.
seriously - it's good to know I'm overreacting. I am taking it to heart.

OP posts:
Report
rogueantimatter · 13/03/2016 19:01

Sorry.

Why does your DS want to play with her? Does he have other friends?

Report
Goingtobeawesome · 13/03/2016 19:02

You're not over reacting. Someone had threatened your child, of course you're going to be upset. Mine was violently assaulted at school recently. It's disgraceful.

Report
StealthPolarBear · 13/03/2016 19:03

Just a big group of kids in the street. When it works well they all play together.
going, that's awful, I'm so sorry. Is your child ok now?

OP posts:
Report
Goingtobeawesome · 13/03/2016 19:05

He's still in pain. Looks awful. School don't care.

Report
theycallmemellojello · 13/03/2016 19:06

Don't talk to or "death stare" the child. Don't call the police. Speak to the child's parents. Keep an eye on the situation - obviously if a pattern of bullying emerges it is more of a problem. Advise your child to play with other children and tell you if anything else happens.

Report
StealthPolarBear · 13/03/2016 19:07

Shock how old? Have you called the police? That might make the school sit up and take some fucking notice.

OP posts:
Report
Arpege · 13/03/2016 19:07

Completely normal.

If the kid is one of those I'd tell DS to ignore. Otherwise I'd put it down to an ok kid being an idiot and testing boundaries.

Report
StealthPolarBear · 13/03/2016 19:09

Tbh she is probably more than a year older than him and being a girl, much more mature. I wouldn't describe them as friends (I don't mean that meanly but they seem to be at different life stages). But they all hang out in a group and the older girls play with the much younger girls (like dd). We've told him to avoid her and I suppose that means avoiding the whole group which will be difficult

OP posts:
Report
StealthPolarBear · 13/03/2016 19:39

The Rage has subsided. I'm still really pissed off.

OP posts:
Report
tinyterrors · 13/03/2016 21:12

It's normal for kids. Mine threaten to punch each other all the time, they don't because they know the consequences they'd face from me and dh.

That said if someone else threatened my child I'd be raging too. My 7 year old has been kicked and strangled at school by a child with adhd and I was livid, school are well on top of it now.

In your shoes I would speak to her parents and keep a close eye on the situation. I'd also be telling your ds that if he does get punched to cone to you straight away and then I'd think about involving the police.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.