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Is this normal and how do I handle it?

(39 Posts)
StealthPolarBear Sun 13-Mar-16 18:26:38

Ds has just said when he was playing out earlier that a neighbours child threatened to punch him. Dd heard it as well.
Ds is 9, other child is ten.

wonderingsoul Sun 13-Mar-16 18:29:34

I'd say it was pretty normal. Horrid but normal.

I'd ask what started it and advise son to not to play with him for bit or what to do if it happened

StealthPolarBear Sun 13-Mar-16 18:30:57

Well it happened about a year ago too, while I made a fuss of ds and told him not to worry I did reserve judgement. Now I am absolutely livid. Poor ds.

StealthPolarBear Sun 13-Mar-16 18:31:46

But that k you. My heart rate is coming down a but.

StealthPolarBear Sun 13-Mar-16 18:34:16

Do I say anything when I see the child? Despite my anger I will be calm.

abbsismyhero Sun 13-Mar-16 18:37:09

no never say anything to the child if the other child is 10 they can be spoken to by the police

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne Sun 13-Mar-16 18:37:30

It is quite normal. Where I live you go and talk to the parents (in a friendly way working on the assumption parents will be horrified and give kid a good talking to). It might not be that awful - kids say all sorts of nonesense - or it could be really aggressive and threatening, it is hard to know where on the spectrum from "child unthinkingly spouting nonsense" to "horrible, aggressive, threatening, get into mother lion mode" it lies without knowing the ins and outs of the situation and personalities.

StealthPolarBear Sun 13-Mar-16 18:38:35

Ok I will not talk to the child. Not even a sarcastic "how's the punching arm?"
I assume I'm allowed to completely blank the child grin

StealthPolarBear Sun 13-Mar-16 18:44:07

I will be practicing the deathstare though.
At times I want to pack mu family up and run away to a cabin in the middle of nowhere. They can have pets instead of friends.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne Sun 13-Mar-16 18:44:18

We had a lot of problems almost a year ago with my then only just 8 year old and two of his 7 year old friends being attacked physically by a boy 18 months older who DS had been friends with (though the other two boys never had been).

It turned out not to be as simple as it seemed, and one of the 7 year olds had been taunting the older boy mercilessly over a long period, mostly verbally but also damaging his bag, and to our shame DS and the other friend were guilty by association having stood by and watched and sometimes laughed sad The older boy did actually do damage to the main taunter, though nothing that serious, and shook DS up badly... he was bigger than all of them and prone to aggressive outbursts, so easy to assume he was the only one in the wrong, but actually it wasn't that straight forward, and it often isn't.

We sorted it out between the parents, though I know MN never advises that. Ds and the older boy get on well again now and the others steer well clear of him and he of them and they leave each other alone.

StealthPolarBear Sun 13-Mar-16 18:46:52

I do accept ds may have been irritating tjem (apparently one of the older ones had told him to go away and then come back and be quiet). But I can't see any reason for threatening violence. Dd agreed that they had been bullying him (and she stood by and let it happen which she's been told off for).
I am getting The Rage again. smile

StealthPolarBear Sun 13-Mar-16 18:53:48

Can I adopt a punchy nick name

rogueantimatter Sun 13-Mar-16 18:54:11

Aww. Don't get The Rage - 10YO boy won't be affected by it. Most children are pretty idiotic from time to time and you probably don't know about any problems this boy might have in his life or the full story. He didn't hurt your DS.

Being a parent is very hard sometimes flowers

StealthPolarBear Sun 13-Mar-16 18:55:14

It's a girl actually. Ds is the only boy which I think is part of the problem.

TrinityForce Sun 13-Mar-16 18:56:16

I think you're overreacting, sorry. It sounds normal to me.

Perhaps a martial arts class for DS and DD, for some confidence and arse kicking tricks?

StealthPolarBear Sun 13-Mar-16 18:57:33

The death stare needs some work. I've tried in the mirror and it's just my face.
seriously - it's good to know I'm overreacting. I am taking it to heart.

rogueantimatter Sun 13-Mar-16 19:01:17


Why does your DS want to play with her? Does he have other friends?

Goingtobeawesome Sun 13-Mar-16 19:02:19

You're not over reacting. Someone had threatened your child, of course you're going to be upset. Mine was violently assaulted at school recently. It's disgraceful.

StealthPolarBear Sun 13-Mar-16 19:03:56

Just a big group of kids in the street. When it works well they all play together.
going, that's awful, I'm so sorry. Is your child ok now?

Goingtobeawesome Sun 13-Mar-16 19:05:27

He's still in pain. Looks awful. School don't care.

theycallmemellojello Sun 13-Mar-16 19:06:14

Don't talk to or "death stare" the child. Don't call the police. Speak to the child's parents. Keep an eye on the situation - obviously if a pattern of bullying emerges it is more of a problem. Advise your child to play with other children and tell you if anything else happens.

StealthPolarBear Sun 13-Mar-16 19:07:01

shock how old? Have you called the police? That might make the school sit up and take some fucking notice.

Arpege Sun 13-Mar-16 19:07:31

Completely normal.

If the kid is one of those I'd tell DS to ignore. Otherwise I'd put it down to an ok kid being an idiot and testing boundaries.

StealthPolarBear Sun 13-Mar-16 19:09:30

Tbh she is probably more than a year older than him and being a girl, much more mature. I wouldn't describe them as friends (I don't mean that meanly but they seem to be at different life stages). But they all hang out in a group and the older girls play with the much younger girls (like dd). We've told him to avoid her and I suppose that means avoiding the whole group which will be difficult

StealthPolarBear Sun 13-Mar-16 19:39:43

The Rage has subsided. I'm still really pissed off.

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