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AIBU?

To ask DH to take day off work tomorrow as I have a bad cold and am struggling to look after baby

99 replies

SilkObsidian · 13/03/2016 14:21

Baby is almost 7months, he has a cold too and is up every 45mins-1hour to BF all night.

I have all usual cold symptoms plus fever and keep vomiting. Head is banging.

DH has taken DS most of day so I can rest, he brings him to me for feeds.

I don't feel I can cope tomorrow AIBU to insist he works from home?

OP posts:

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sooperdooper · 13/03/2016 14:23

If he can work from home then definitely ask, is if something he's able to do usually?

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Abed · 13/03/2016 14:23

I've had what you have, it's no cold, more like a flu virus

Can he easily WFH?

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froggyjump · 13/03/2016 14:23

You may BU to insist, you would NBU to ask

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bibbitybobbityyhat · 13/03/2016 14:24

Have you asked him?

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Abed · 13/03/2016 14:24

Oh yeah just reread the OP, YABU to insist.

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Sirzy · 13/03/2016 14:24

Surely if he is working from home he will be working though so still limited in how much he can help? Surely if he took a day off it would need to be a day off Not working from home?

Whether that is a realistic option only you and him know - would he get paid? Would it cause problems to take a day off at short notice?

I would say in general get as much rest as you can today and then tomorrow just spend the day on the sofa doing as little as possible.

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yorkshapudding · 13/03/2016 14:27

I think it depends on his job. Can he easily WFH and if he does will it realistically make much difference to you? When my DH works from home he's constantly on the phone, or Skype including to his bosses so there's no way he would get away from claiming to be "working from home" when he was actually looking after a poorly baby.

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RudeElf · 13/03/2016 14:30

Yanbu to ask him to take a days annual leave. He cant WFH and care for a baby so that isnt an option. Ywbu to insist on anything.

It may be necessary to just manage somehow. As a single parent i can tell you its possible.

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BertrandRussell · 13/03/2016 14:31

If it's anything like the bug I've got- and it sounds like it- I've been struggling to look after a 15 year old who can do absolutely everything for himself except drive!

But insist is the wrong word.

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witsender · 13/03/2016 14:39

How can he work from home and look after the little one to the extent that you get a break? Or do you mean holiday? Either way, wrong to insist but ok to ask. If he has to work cbeebies is your friend.

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Abed · 13/03/2016 14:42

And companies expect that employees who WFH actually y'know work... Not look after babies etc.

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IsItMeOr · 13/03/2016 14:43

Poor you. Sounds like he needs to take the day off work so that you can rest up and get better.

If you were a paid child carer, there is no way that you would be going to work tomorrow, in which case any parents who relied on you to care for their children would need to either take a day off, or arrange for somebody else to care for their child.

While I appreciate that we use a different bar for measuring whether we're able to look after our own kids, for me it still comes quite a long way before vomiting, shivering, fever and banging head.

So no, I don't think you would be unreasonable to insist that DH looks after your child tomorrow.

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RidersOnTheStorm · 13/03/2016 14:45

YWBU to ask him to work from home because he wouldn't be working he'd be looking after the baby. But not U to ask him to take a day's leave.

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browneyedgirl1974 · 13/03/2016 14:47

I guess you don't expect him to look after baby during his working hours. Just getting extra commutting and lunch hour would be beneficial.
If he can easily do this than yanbu to ask.

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Pinkheart5915 · 13/03/2016 14:47

Would work be ok about it? Does he still get paid ( if money is an issue this will be important) ?
My husband has worked from home and helped with ds (6months) when I've been ill or suffering very bad sickness from current pregnancy.

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AtrociousCircumstance · 13/03/2016 14:47

YANBU. You both work, him out of the house and you within it. You are physically unable to do your job. He needs to take over.

I'm just recovering from flu. Never had flu before and I thought I was going to have to be hospitalised. Utterly unable to function. Impossible to care for DCs.

(On another note, try this remedy: chop up two cloves of garlic and leave for ten mins. Squeeze half a lemon and mix the chopped garlic into the juice along with a tablespoon of honey. Pour mixture into the squeezed-out lemon-half. Eat the whole thing, pith, peel and all).

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WorraLiberty · 13/03/2016 14:47

Not enough info really OP.

Would asking him to work from home cause him any work issues?

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Narp · 13/03/2016 14:48

He is entitled to parental leave, which he should take if at all practicable.

This always comes pup on MN and there are always a vocal few who insist it's all down to you because you are the SAHM and not a jot of the father's time should be taken caring for his child (which he'd be doing)

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Pinkheart5915 · 13/03/2016 14:48

Posted before finishing.

My husband done his work normal hours but helped at his lunch time and didn't have the 2 hour each way commute so that helped too.

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VoldysGoneMouldy · 13/03/2016 14:48

You're not unreasonable to ask, but you would be to insist. Equally he probably won't be able to fully work from home if you need him to look after both you and the baby.

That said, if he can't, there are things you can do to make it work.

Make sure there is an extra portion of whatever you've got for dinner tonight that you can just bang in the microwave tomorrow. Set up a nest with everything you both need, so you don't have to move too much.

Hope you feel better soon.

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PurpleDaisies · 13/03/2016 14:48

What's his employer normally like for granting annual leave? I think it's fine to ask but the employer wouldn't be unreasonable not to grant it at such short notice when the dh isn't actually ill.

Poor you though. Often these viruses are short lived so you might feel surprisingly better tomorrow.

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curren · 13/03/2016 14:49

He can't really work from home as he wont be working.

If you are really really ill and he can easily take time off, I think it's ok to ask.

Why do think it might be unreasonable? Has he said no? Do you ask a lot?

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Littlef00t · 13/03/2016 14:49

He should take it off. You can't be responsible for a child in your state, you need rest.

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Thisisnotausername · 13/03/2016 14:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 13/03/2016 14:51

I would definitely want some help, looking after a sick baby whilst you are sick all day is exhausting.

Can we work a half day?
If he works from home will he have much time free?
Do you have any family who can help?
Do you have any local babysitters who would take baby for a walk so you can sleep?
How possible is a day off for him?
Can you afford an Emergency Nanny? There are agencies online and they do look after sick children.