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Aibu to wish there was someone you could just see when you are struggling

(16 Posts)
Sothisishowitfeels Sat 12-Mar-16 21:03:46

I am a normally capable 32 year old mother of 6. I have had a terrible few months, difficult birth Dc 6. She has been admitted to hospital twice in her 4 month life with chest infections. I have been admitted 3 times in the last 4 months with pneumonia, tonsilitis and flu. I have had thrush God knows how many times from the shit tonne of antibiotics I have been on.

My 5 year old dd is struggling at school - actually struggling is being kind she is being naughty her teacher is actually saying she is struggling to cope and I have no idea how to fix this.

My 3 year old split her forehead open falling off a tiny toddler scooter which was barely moving blood everywhere massive scar across her head trip to a and e.

I have started having panics and hiding out in my bed , I have suffered some kind of mood problem for 10 years but have managed to keep it under control its increasingly hard.

I could go on but I won't.

I have a lovely dh but all of the above he is coping with too .

I have no mother to turn to she died when inwas a teenager.

I recently sat staring at a poster in a and e which told me that they wouldn't "kiss is better" and of course not but aibu to wish that there was a place you could go and just have someone tell you "it's ok" "I'll help"?

Pathetic or normal to feel like this?

Your gp?

They can arrange counselling or cbt so give you a chance to offload.

nephrofox Sat 12-Mar-16 21:07:00

You have 6 kids! I think your should give yourself a pat on the back for surviving the day especially with all the health issues.

Hang in there, better weather should hopefully help the health status of everyone. Your 5 y o is probably reacting ti the stress and change at home. Can you focus on the absolute basics for a while and try reconnect with them

Millbram Sat 12-Mar-16 21:07:25

You sound like you've got an awful lot on your plate OP and maybe you're feeling a bit overwhelmed...could you maybe speak to your health visitor and see if there is anything she/ he could suggest that may help?

Sothisishowitfeels Sat 12-Mar-16 21:13:32

A truth - I was on citalopram my gp changed this to sertraline a couple of weeks ago because I mentioned it wasn't helping very much.

Beyond that I don't really speak to her- I wasn't aware you were supposed to. Also I'm not sure how much talking to her for 5 minutes will help . I had more of of blanket wrapping bringing you hot chocolate service. grin

georgetteheyersbonnet Sat 12-Mar-16 21:22:25

I get you OP. I too wish there was some kind of rent-a-mum service! You are doing amazingly though; you sound like a fabulous person and very brave. Would a private counsellor or therapist help, if it's affordable? flowers

IsItMeOr Sat 12-Mar-16 21:25:22

Do you have a HomeStart near you?

Also worth asking your GP for a referral for CBT or counselling.

Hope you all are feeling better soon, sounds like you have a lot on your plate.


hownottofuckup Sat 12-Mar-16 21:28:58

How about this? Might be worth a go...

Sothisishowitfeels Sat 12-Mar-16 21:37:45

Nephrox - I wish I could blame recent events for her behaviour but I can't, it long predates all of this. She has always been "challenging". I love her but she is more work than all the other children put together!.

Millbram my gp did send a request to the hv but I haven't heard from her at all. I think they are a bit rushed off their feet around here at the moment.

George I probably could afford a counsellor but tbh I don't feel I have much to be counselled about? I have always struggled with mood but for no reason and the latest things are just a string of bad luck. I would be willing to look into it though if things don't improve - worth a try.

Isitme- we do have a home start but until a few months ago I was actuSlly a volunteer there and I would feel really umcomfortable asking for help since I know most of the people there! (Sorry I know I sound like I'm being difficult for the sake of it!)

RubbleBubble00 Sat 12-Mar-16 22:54:18

ask for a Banardoes referral? They are brilliant, esp helping with specific issues. Round here you get 12 weekly visits with a support worker - ft trained professional - might be useful to work with dd(5) and her behaviour issues?

RubbleBubble00 Sat 12-Mar-16 22:55:43

try grapefruit seed extract for thrush with a good probiotic

RubbleBubble00 Sat 12-Mar-16 23:02:52

if you know your hv name, there's nothing stopping u ringing her yourself and asking for a visit or a phone chat?

SarahJinx Sat 12-Mar-16 23:07:17

If you have funds (and the time...) how about a life coach? Life coaches are all about well being and mindfulness and 'helping' yourself from within. Finding head space, breathing properly and looking after yourself so that you can handle your life is a huge start in my experience. Small children, any amount are a tough gig. Particularly without a support system and health issues of your own please don't be too hard on yourself

Fatmomma99 Sun 13-Mar-16 00:44:22

health visitor, gp, senco. Does your school have a nurturing TA or someone who has capacity to support parents?

There is help out there - you just have to tap into it.

Good luck. x

Pantone363 Sun 13-Mar-16 00:49:24

Amazing site if you need a (free) listener!

greenbloom Sun 13-Mar-16 00:57:27

Find someone who can help you for a bit in practical ways? Like a cleaner or a mother's help type of person? It's a shame there isn't some kind of rent-an-aunt service.

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