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AIBU?

To think that this is disgusting?

55 replies

IncidentalAnarchist · 12/03/2016 11:14

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/mar/12/a-letter-to-my-wife-who-i-have-never-loved

Ughhh!! Surely this must be made up? The poor woman!

OP posts:
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IncidentalAnarchist · 12/03/2016 11:15
OP posts:
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JOEYDOESNTSHAREFOOD · 12/03/2016 11:23

I stood at the alter knowing I shouldn't get married and didn't love my husband to be. I left him a year later. It happens. I'm not disgusting though.

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MajesticWhine · 12/03/2016 11:24

It's sad. She is probably not happy either. He should be honest and divorce her.

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witchofzog · 12/03/2016 11:24

I dont think it is disgusting but more desperately sad. Both marrying to please their parents. Both not happy. You can bet your bottom dollar his wife knows she is not loved. He needs to be honest for both their sakes and set her free so they can both find someone who they can have a genuine living relationship with

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HackerFucker22 · 12/03/2016 11:27

This is an arranged marriage I assume?

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scarednoob · 12/03/2016 11:30

That was my reading too, as it says they "never spoke" to each other

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kawolski · 12/03/2016 11:31

Reads like it may have been an arranged marriage to me too. I feel sorry for them both, how sad.

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GirlFromMars1 · 12/03/2016 11:32

Why would it be made up? It sounds like a very sad but true story. If it was an arranged marriage to please his parents then it could be expected that he might not ever develop feelings of love. (Not to say all arranged marriages go this way, I know for some people it can be a very positive experience. For me though, I've always just fell in love quickly or not at all. My parents could set me up with Brad Pitt and I couldn't guarantee I'd fall in love with him, I think it just comes down to chemistry).

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multivac · 12/03/2016 11:36

It's appalling.

The sub who neglected to change 'who' to 'whom' in that header should be severely reprimanded.

(I didn't read the piece; I've reached the point where exposure to a heartfelt 'open letter' makes me come out in hives.)

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SohowdoIdothis · 12/03/2016 11:43

I wonder when he will realise you only get one life and stop being such a coward and wasting it.

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ElderlyKoreanLady · 12/03/2016 11:44

It's desperately sad but depressingly common. I know many couples and ex couples within which one or both parties sleepwalked their way into marriage without stopping to really assess if they loved their partner.

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Sallygoroundthemoon · 12/03/2016 11:47

Very sad. I assumed it was an arranged marriage too and feel very sorry for both of them.

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DarrenHardysDrongo · 12/03/2016 11:48

I'm also reading it as an arranged marriage. Awful situation for them both.

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HooseRice · 12/03/2016 11:52

It's not uncommon. I know a few people who have married knowing it wasn't going to last. One got married because her MIL's dying wish was to see her son married. They divorced soon after she died. No children involved.

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VoldysGoneMouldy · 12/03/2016 11:53

I don't think it's disgusting. Painfully sad for them both, yes.

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JOEYDOESNTSHAREFOOD · 12/03/2016 11:56

Mine wasn't an arranged marriage.

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HanYOLO · 12/03/2016 11:56

I just find it terribly sad, for them both.

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Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 12/03/2016 11:56

I don't think The Guardian employs sub-editors any more. It certainly appears that way.

I assumed it was an arranged marriage. If my parents had been given the responsibility of choosing my future husband, I can guarantee they wouldn't have chosen anyone like my actual husband (of 33 years), and it would probably have been a disaster. I'm sure it works for some people but it would have been my worst nightmare.

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lborolass · 12/03/2016 11:58

Disgusting is a much overused word nowadays and mostly in completely the wrong way as you have done here so YABU

Do people really discuss what their favourite colour is? Were they 5 when they met, do adults even have favourite colours?

I agree with most, sad for both parties

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HanYOLO · 12/03/2016 11:58

mulitvac Grin

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BitOutOfPractice · 12/03/2016 12:02

Not disgusting, just sad.

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coffeeinaredmug · 12/03/2016 12:09

It is hardy disgusting. It is however very, very sad. I hope he plucks up the courage to walk away and allow them both to meet people they love.

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SilverBirchWithout · 12/03/2016 12:10

I've been married over 30 years, I'm not sure either of us know the other's favourite colour Smile

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SilverBirchWithout · 12/03/2016 12:11

Sounds like something wriiten by one of the interns.

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JanetOfTheApes · 12/03/2016 12:11

Poor man, too.

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