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to think this might be a child protection/safe guarding issue?

(434 Posts)
thickgit Fri 11-Mar-16 22:03:44

There's a nursery close by to me. Today, they were playing outside. I very clearly saw male nursery worker laying on his back on the ground, leaning up a bit on his elbows. One girl was laying on her front, on him. Another girl was laying on him, more on his chest.
It looked inappropriate to me so I immediately called nursery and told manager to go outside and see. She was more interested in knowing who I was.

I called back ten minutes later to give her my number. She wanted my name. I wouldn't give it. She was very defensive about the scenario and just wanted to know if I would feel the same if it was a woman. I explained that I've worked in nurseries and would not let children lay on me like this. She said other workers were out there, so she had no issue with it.
What are your thoughts?

Gobbolinothewitchscat Fri 11-Mar-16 22:05:27

Why wouldn't you give your name?

DonkeyOaty Fri 11-Mar-16 22:06:29


MumOnTheRunCatchingUp Fri 11-Mar-16 22:08:50

My thoughts? Poor chap, was the ground not still wet??

Birdsgottafly Fri 11-Mar-16 22:10:06

No, It's not a safeguarding issue.

Of course she would want your details.

PurpleDaisies Fri 11-Mar-16 22:11:30

I don't understand why you wouldn't leave your details if you were concerned about what was going on.

WorraLiberty Fri 11-Mar-16 22:11:57

Maybe she wanted your details because someone had reported a strange person, staring at the nursery children and paying an unhealthy interest in them while they played outside?

Tis a suspicious world we live in...

LindyHemming Fri 11-Mar-16 22:12:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBouquets Fri 11-Mar-16 22:13:04

I would imagine that anyone male or female working with young children would have to be extremely careful of what they did. I also find it strange that the Nursery boss was so defensive and focusing on questioning you for your name and phone number. Our nursery did not have any grass areas but I only ever saw workers walking among the children watching for falls etc. I don't think you have done anything out of order. If you thought the situation looked worrying so would other mums and GP. The main thing is to keep children safe and also to ensure that no member of staff puts themselves in a position which might be questioned.
Keep an eye out and see if that ever happens again. I don't see the difference between a male or female member of staff being in a questionable position. They should be aware of how things could look.

bloodyteenagers Fri 11-Mar-16 22:13:06

I have read the op a few times. I don't see
The problem. Is he was a she would you be getting involved? Be honest with yourself. Forget about your place settings for a moment.

thickgit Fri 11-Mar-16 22:13:09

Initially, I was more interested in her getting straight out there to see what it was I was talking about
When I called back, she sounded aggressive and defensive and I didn't see why, and still don't, it was relevant to have my name.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Fri 11-Mar-16 22:16:03

So the nursery worker was playing with the children, and you immediately think paedophile?! That's right,because all men who work with small children must be mustn't they! Christ on a bike, no wonder there is a shortage of male primary school teachers and nursery assistants!

ElderlyKoreanLady Fri 11-Mar-16 22:16:03

Safeguarding issue? Did he have his pants on? hmm

BumpTheElephant Fri 11-Mar-16 22:16:59

I don't know as I didn't see it but it sounds innocent, perhaps slightly over familiar but I wouldn't think it was a child protection issue! My boys jump on/lie on DH sometimes, they don't do that to their nursery or school teachers though.
He probably shouldn't let them lie on him, more for his own safety than theirs though so passers by don't accuse him of being inappropriate.

twofalls Fri 11-Mar-16 22:18:11

Totally ridiculous.

WorraLiberty Fri 11-Mar-16 22:18:16

If you thought the situation looked worrying so would other mums and GP.

How do you know that?

Perhaps the other Mums and GP might have rolled their eyes out of their heads.

I've stood in school playgrounds and listened to some parents talking complete and utter shit in the past about men working with young children.

Fortunately, no-one else agreed with them to my knowledge.

AStreetcarNamedBob Fri 11-Mar-16 22:19:00

It sounds absolutely fine! We employ a nanny and she is often to be found down on the floor with the children and them climbing on her etc.

What on earth is the problem??!

Madelinehatter Fri 11-Mar-16 22:19:02

I don't think it's appropriate. From either gender. Not suggesting he is a Paedophile in anyway but there should be some boundaries.

MartinaJ Fri 11-Mar-16 22:19:51

I can't see anything inappropriate. Are men forbidden to touch children now?

TheDuchessOfArbroathsHat Fri 11-Mar-16 22:20:56

What have we here then? A curtain twitcher! How wonderful. And one who's not even got the nads to give their own name. What's the deal with that? Can't you even own what you're thinking and saying?

ctjoy103 Fri 11-Mar-16 22:21:02

What are your thoughts?

That you're a interfering busybody.

Madelinehatter Fri 11-Mar-16 22:21:49

Nothing to do with him being a man. I don't think nursery workers should be lying on the ground with small children lying on top of them. Both my kids went to nursery I would be amazed if this had ever happened. Be interested to hear from nursery workers.

Summerwood1 Fri 11-Mar-16 22:22:56

Crazy to have rang the nursery or to have even thought that it was inappropriate

Micah Fri 11-Mar-16 22:23:56

Would you have had the same issue if it had been a woman?

I picked dc nursery because the care workers were all sat on the floor, playing, cuddling, in close contact. These are babies! I hated the one where all the staff were "busy", but the children were held at arms length.

Small children will lay on, near or next to carers. They like physical contact. So some are male.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Fri 11-Mar-16 22:24:15

I think it's treatment on this thread and the reaction from the nursery manager is the main reason why a lot of people turn a blind eye to things.
I'm not saying anything thing untoward is going on or its not. I wasn't there to make the judgement, but I think people should be able to report suspicions if they have an ounce of doubt or questioning with out getting verbally attacked.
I hope to God Op is wrong, and I bet she does, too.

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