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AIBU?

to be broody when I have RH negative status?

109 replies

FortifiedWine · 11/03/2016 20:41

Hi all. Looking from advice from any RH negative mothers who have had more than one pregnancy.

Had a baby in 2011, after finding out I was rhesus B negative, received two anti-D vaccinations during pregnancy to protect the next pregnancy. in 2012, 11 months after my first birth, I found out I was expecting again. I refused the anti-D this time, as (stupidly) I was convinced I'd never have any more children, had a REALLY hard time with hyperemisis to the point I was sleeping on the bathroom floor near the toilet. Plus wasn't too keen on a blood product with whatever else in it being injected into me.

When I'd received this shot the first time, I developed PUPPS straight away, which is basically an unbearable intensely itchy skin condition where you are scratching your skin off 24 hours a day and nothing relieves it except giving birth - so rare that my consultant was the only person who had heard of it - I knew what it was beforehand though as I'd trawled the internet wondering WTH was going on with my body. But consultant agreed that's what it was after a test for choleastasis(sp?) But imagine being SO itchy all over that you literally cannot leave your house, get out of bed, do ANYTHING... at that time I was scratching myself with anything that was around, a pine cone, hairbrush, and at one point a pair of tweezers until I was bleeding. I was admitted to hospital at 39 weeks pregnant because I couldn't bare it anymore. I was awake day and night scratching, making my skin bleed, not knowing what to do. I couldn't focus on my upcoming birth as my entire body ITCHED like crazy. It really was something else.

At that point, they kept me in and gave me a sweep and some anti histamines. Whilst they helped me sleep, I still itched. I was crazy angry with everyone and everything at that point, it's bad enough going through late pregnancy without that! However, another sweep later and I gave birth on my due date. Itching went instantly.

So in 2012, upon discovering I was pregnant again I was TERRIFIED. However, I didn't get it second time, amazingly! I was so happy. But as I'd refused the anti-D, believing that had caused it and I wanted no more children, I am now (four years later) thinking of having another child. I am getting towards my 30s and (if it makes a difference) the father would be different to the first two. Am I able to have another baby? The doctors and midwife said I would be high risk as I haven't had the shot in my second pregnancy and there's nothing they can do except monitor my antibodies. Worst case scenario... the baby is stillborn. Best case... it needs a blood transfusion in the womb and will be in special care after with jaundice and other problems. I have also been told that if I was impregnated by a RH negative donor, there would be no issue as blood wouldn't mix.

So I am now looking at sperm donation, which is obviously expensive especially if it doesn't work. I've also been told that the blood mixing rarely occurs anyway, even if I got pregnant by RH positive partner. Not sure what to think. Don't want to risk it obviously, but also don't want to spend thousands on sperm donation in a clinic that may not work?!

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nephrofox · 11/03/2016 20:45

Do u know your current partners rhesus status? Surely that's the first step.

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FortifiedWine · 11/03/2016 20:52

Nephrofox - Yes he's positive. Apparently only 15% of the population have negative blood. Not against sperm donation but you know... freaking nightmare! Plus RH negative donors are sparse. :(

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SaveSomeSpendSome · 11/03/2016 20:54

Im rhesus neg D.

I dont know what blood type dh is. I needed the anti D injection a fair few times during being pregnant with dd as i bled afew times.

I think you was very foolish to refuse the injections.

It was always stressed to me how important it was to have them as they stop my blood from attacking the baby.

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FortifiedWine · 11/03/2016 20:54

Plus I don't know what people think here, but I met a homeopath who claimed she could change the babys' blood to negative should I get pregnant. I am all for alternative therapies but a bit sceptical about homeopathy tbh. It seems like a big risk to take.

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FortifiedWine · 11/03/2016 20:58

SaveSomeSpendSome - Oh yes, I know I was. I can only blame being a girl in my early 20s and having such shitty pregnancies/hormones/the PUPPS that suddenly developed after the first jab for putting me off it. I know it sounds silly, but when you are intensely itchy and scratching all day every day for weeks it eats away at you psychologically. I was too scared of going through that again I guess.

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VagueIdeas · 11/03/2016 20:59

I'm pretty sure they check your antibodies when they take bloods at the beginning of the pregnancy, so any issues (and they're rare, like you say) would be flagged at that point anyway.

A homeopath is no more able to change the blood group of a foetus than they are able to turn it into a unicorn, so ignore that particular piece of (dangerous, dishonest) bullshit Grin

Would it be worth discussing this with a GP to see whether getting an anti-D shot NOW would protect a future pregnancy? They may not know, but could contact an obstetrician?

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WiIdfire · 11/03/2016 20:59

No matter what else, for goodness sake don't listen to the homeopath! That's completely rubbish.

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PerryHatter · 11/03/2016 20:59

Also neg. I'm confused on the best and worst case scenarios you've stayed. So, if you get pregnant by your current positive partner, your Childs best scenario is a blood transfusion and special care. Or is this just if your blood mixes?

Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I'm sure you wish you'd had the injections now. What advice have your doctors given?

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Griphook · 11/03/2016 21:00

met a homeopath who claimed she could change the babys' blood to negative should I get pregnant.

She talking a lot of shit.

I had the itching thing, nowhere near as bad as you, I was repeatedly tested for Cholestatsi, but the bloods always came back ok. I used to sleep with wet fannels on my body to control it, and change the fannels during the night. A wide tooth comb was good for the itch as well. Considering how much longer you had it, I think you would be mad to get pregnant again

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SaveSomeSpendSome · 11/03/2016 21:01

Do the hospital know if the anti D caused the itching?

I would still have the injection again as i think having a shit pregnancy is much better than burying a still born child.

My daughter is rhesus positive so im so glad i did have the anti D

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IrenetheQuaint · 11/03/2016 21:04

These days they can do regular scans and deliver the baby early if it shows signs of rhesus disease, then keep it under a sunlamp in an incubator until it's well enough to go home.

At least so I believe from a friend of mine for whom the anti D injections didn't work for some reasons.

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NameAgeLocation · 11/03/2016 21:04

I don't have practical advice but the itching thing sounds like a type of torture so I can imagine you having been willing to do anything, however foolish or irrational, to avoid taking any risk of that happening again. Please don't beat yourself up about
that decision.

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JuxtapositionRecords · 11/03/2016 21:07

I actually think I have heard it all now - change the baby's blood, wtf??? I hope you didn't believe her? She needs reporting for selling that crock of shit.

I'm O neg and have more than one child but had all the shots so haven't been in your situation. However it can't be as clear cut as your best and worst case makes out. That is only if your blood mixes which would be very, very unusual. You would have to be extremely careful throughout the entire pregnancy. Can the doctors not give you a more detailed risk analysis?

Maybe I'm overstepping the line here but a sperm donor when you have a partner seems a bit extreme to me.

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hedwig2001 · 11/03/2016 21:08

Your baby's blood group is down to genetics. Nobody can change that, one the baby is conceived.

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FortifiedWine · 11/03/2016 21:11

VagueIdeas - They said getting the shot now wouldn't do anything so there'd be no point, as it's only meant to be at 28 week pregnant and straight after birth. It has to be at certain intervals. But I know if I had another baby I would definitely get it! It apparently doesn't effect the first baby - DC2 had mild jaundice, but I had had the shot to protect that pregnancy.

The consultant didn't say the anti-D caused the PUPPPS. It's apparently meant to be something to do with your body rejecting blood from the baby/placenta though. And as it happened straight after the shot it made me think. And as I didn't get PUPPPS during the second pregnancy (when I didn't get the shot either times) it makes me wonder.

But obviously, if I could get a healthy baby at the end of it, I'd go through the itching again. That's not really the issue though, I'm just wondering about my blood potentially mixing with the babys' and attacking it.

Must also add they checked for antibodies during second pregnancy and after, and there were none. I think a RH neg donor is the answer... if I can find one before I start becoming infertile! Shock

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coconutpie · 11/03/2016 21:11

What Rh status is your second child? The whole point of anti D is to stop you manufacturing the antibodies which would attack the foetus (the antibodies would only develop if your blood mixed with the baby's). If you refused it, can you not get a test now to determine if the antibodies are present? If they aren't, then maybe you could go on to have another baby. If they are present, then it's probably not looking likely. Also, it's only a problem if the next baby is Rh +, never know, the baby might be Rh -.

Talk to your doctor, that's the only way forward. Also, that homeopath is a quack. Don't believe that bullshit.

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LazyCake · 11/03/2016 21:15

I'm also rhesus negative. I'm afraid I don't have much insight into your dilemma, but wanted to say please don't beat yourself up for not having the shot during your previous pregnancy. You did the best you could in a difficult situation. The itching you describe sounds absolutely maddening.

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FortifiedWine · 11/03/2016 21:16

Cocnutpie - Both my children are B positive. I'm B negative, and ex partner is B positive too. Current partner is B positive. The consultant said that if I got pregnant by someone who was negative, it would result in a negative baby. With someone who is positive, it can result in a positive or negative, it's chance. So the best thing to do is go with a negative donor.

Ps. I don't believe the homeopath Grin I am too paranoid for that crap lol

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coconutpie · 11/03/2016 21:18

OP, if your baby's blood mixed with yours then your body would have created the antibodies. I think it's 72 hours they have to put a halt to the antibodies starting to create. That's why they give the anti D injection. If you didn't have the anti D and the baby's blood did mix with yours, it is too late to reverse it - once they are created they stay there permanently. That is why it is an issue for second and future pregnancies, not the first. Unless there's a bleed on the first as the time when blood mixing is likely to happen is during the birthing process. Hence why it's so important for women to know if they are Rh - because if they have a miscarriage they may need anti D.

Get them to check if antibodies are present.

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keepingitsurreal · 11/03/2016 21:19

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coconutpie · 11/03/2016 21:19

X post! Oh and OP don't beat yourself up over not getting it - the itching sounds horrific and you did what you thought was best at a very difficult time Flowers.

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Sausagema · 11/03/2016 21:21

You're slightly misinformed regarding your "best case" scenario. A fetus needing an IUT is far from best case and pretty bad shit. It's a risk, but it's entirely dependent on the levels of anti d in your blood in this potential pregnancy. If the levels are low then your baby could be absolutely fine with a mild case of newborn jaundice, and could go anywhere up the scale to the transfusion you describe. If you have not got these antibodies in your blood, there is no point giving you more Anti-d in any future present, because, to be frank, that ship has sailed.

Uou sound quite misinformed what with your best case scenario, talk of sperm donors and homeopathic changing of blood groups quackery. A gp will probably not know much about this but can refer you to an obstetrician for pre conception counselling.

This could all have been avoided though. I know you were in a bad way the last time but someone refusing anti d when they need it is a big deal and I'm sure you were spoken to at length by a number of professionals about the consequences of such a decision, so were well informed.

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coconutpie · 11/03/2016 21:23

Keeping - she didn't put her baby at risk. She hadn't planned on having any further babies so presumably thought not having anti D wouldn't be an issue down the line.

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Maryann1975 · 11/03/2016 21:24

Are you in a relationship? What does your partner think about you getting pregnant with another mans sperm? Is he happy to bring up a child that You conceived while with him but isn't biologically his? (I think this is different from him accepting and taking on an existing child at the beginning of the relationship). I think his views are important here too.

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FortifiedWine · 11/03/2016 21:24

coconutpie - They detected no antibodies in either pregnancy though, and I never had any sort of trauma, is that a good sign do you recon? I've not had a miscarriage since my babies, but I did have an early one in my teens (and had no idea about my blood type etc then) but caused no problems.

It's so confusing! My mother is also B negative, and could not hold a pregnancy down after I was born, and even had an ectopic at 30. She was never offered a shot. But this was many years ago when I don't think where the medical knowledge was there about this sort of problem tbh.

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