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AIBU to join in with a Christian play group or service if not religious

(46 Posts)
shatteredmama Fri 11-Mar-16 19:49:01

Hi, it's my first post, I'd really like your opinions, I have an 11 month old dd and am really struggling with pnd and anxiety, I don't have any family for support and only a few friends, none have dc. I thought play groups would be a good idea, and went to a few sure start groups but didn't feel comfortable with them or enjoy them at all.

Today I walked past a local church, saw lots of posters outside which gave the impression they provide services for the community, not just the followers (AA, bereavement meetings etc), so I popped in and was greeted by the most lovely woman who told me about their mum and baby groups and Sunday service with creche, she didn't ask about my religion but encouraged me to attend.

I'd love to go for the company and support and to give dd an opportunity to play with other babies, but feel awkward not being a practicing Christian, for info, I was Christened as a child, but am probably classed as an agnostic more than anything else now.

I don't want to offend any members of the church by attending, and don't know what to say if asked about my Faith, so, would I be cheeky and unreasonable to go? Would be particularly interested on views from those who go to church and groups.

AnotherRubberDuck Fri 11-Mar-16 19:57:22

Of course you're not bu! These things are run for the entire community not just for the members of their church. The people hosting will not mind if you're Christian, Atheist or Buddhist. They just want you to have a cup of tea, a chat and somewhere nice for your child to play.
Go and enjoy yourself.

butterflylove16 Fri 11-Mar-16 19:57:51

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. In my church all mum's are welcome to come along, and it sounds like it would be a good chance for you and your little one to meet others smile

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Fri 11-Mar-16 19:59:36

I'm not even remotely religious and DD went to a church playgroup fro years (and I never went to a service!)

Go to the playgroup, but not the service (if you dont want to)

I'm pretty sure that most of the playgroup users won't be church goers

Griphook Fri 11-Mar-16 20:01:05

Is it like a mother and toddler/baby group? If so the most welcome I've ever had at a playground was a religious one. (I've been to a lot) I felt supported and made to feel really welcome. Yanbu.

deplorabelle Fri 11-Mar-16 20:02:42

For a while I helped run a church toddler group. I can confirm you'd be very welcome whatever your beliefs and they can be brilliantly supportive

toriap2 Fri 11-Mar-16 20:03:09

At our church you would be welcomed with open arms. We have a playgroup once a week and the ladies who run it are so lovely. All mums are welcome of any or no faith, it is all about friendship and supporting mums. Go and have a lovely time.

theclockticksslowly Fri 11-Mar-16 20:03:49

I'm in a similar position and have recently started going to a local church mother and baby group during the week. I'm not a practicing Christian either so did wonder but there's not much else in the area and knew I needed to get some adult company and would also do my DD good too. It's been great - very welcoming group of people and no mention of church/religion etc. I think they see it as providing a service for the local community and certainly don't expect you to turn up for services. Definitely give it a go!

PearSoup Fri 11-Mar-16 20:04:23

I go to three different groups run at/by different Churches. Two sing some Cristian children songs and read a bible story at music time but that's as far as it goes. All lovely. Very welcoming. I am an atheist and they have never asked anything about my religious beliefs.

Ameliablue Fri 11-Mar-16 20:08:59

As a Christian, I would say to go. You would only offend if you were openly anti-Christianity, e.g being rude about their beliefs when talking to them. It is fine too say you don't believe.

Jenijena Fri 11-Mar-16 20:10:43

You would be very welcome, go.

phequer Fri 11-Mar-16 20:10:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cuntycowfacemonkey Fri 11-Mar-16 20:13:50

You'll be more than welcome I used to attend a church toddler group it was lovely.

PurpleDaisies Fri 11-Mar-16 20:18:25

I'm a Christian and you'd be very welcome at my church, whether it was a full on Sunday service or a weekday group. It honestly doesn't matter whether you've been christened or not, or even if you've set foot in a church in the last ten years. Hope you have fun. smile

RaskolnikovsGarret Fri 11-Mar-16 20:20:58

We are all a different (practising) religion but want to go to our church for community reasons, and we are interested in the God stuff too, and like the odd hymn. I worry that people will think we are crazy for going, but we might all just turn up one Sunday anyway!

AMouseLivedinaWindMill Fri 11-Mar-16 20:23:04


each toddler group is different I attended several that had religion, only one was VERY religious but so sweet run by lovely older ladies. the others the religion was in the back ground really and nothing pushed on you, I have no idea if other mums were religious or not, ever.....many toddler groups are in church halls....yo umay get unlucky and get one thats uppitty otherwise go and enjoy.

MintyBojingles Fri 11-Mar-16 20:25:45

I'm a Christian and go to a couple Church toddler groups, you'd be welcome at any of them. It's been a lifeline to me to get to know some new people smile you'd also be welcomed to any other thing our Church puts on, though obviously Sunday service would be more religious/spiritual!

shakeatailfeather Fri 11-Mar-16 20:27:05

Definitely go. I am very similar to you, religious stance wise, but have attended a number of Church based playgroups since having DS, and have ended up setting one up (with 2 friends who are the same). No one has ever said a thing.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Fri 11-Mar-16 20:29:26

Yanbu you should go!

Whether you just do the group or the service as well is up to you, but unless you're rude or offensive no one will bother if you're not religious.

I'm not, and never have been, but j go occasionally with guides or family friends and generally enjoy the service, I especially like some of the hymns.

I was really nervous at first about doing the right thing but just copy everyone else and you'll be fine!

techgirl Fri 11-Mar-16 20:29:45

Go go go. I'm agnostic and went to ab evangelical playgroup with my kids for years as they were the nicest one I found. Pretty sceptical about the surrounding church but attendees were a mixed bag -atheist, Muslim and all- and no-one asked about belief!

kippersyllabub Fri 11-Mar-16 20:35:41

Of course you should go. Our local mother and baby group is run by the church: you might find they tell the Christmas story when it gets to December but everyone is welcome and I expect most parents are not actively Church of England (and three families are Hindu, and they are as welcome as everyone else).

Woodenmouse Fri 11-Mar-16 20:39:04

I take ds to a toddler group run by the church and it's brilliant no one cares about who's religious and who's not. Go.for it

shatteredmama Fri 11-Mar-16 20:39:31

Thanks for your messages everyone, you've made up my mind, am definitely going and looking forward to it now.

pickmeupputmedown Fri 11-Mar-16 20:40:00

Another saying go. My church mothers and toddlers is attended by people of different faiths/no faith and everything in between.

YoJesse Fri 11-Mar-16 20:45:21

Not even slightly. My favourite toddler group is run by quite an evangelical church. They are totally welcoming and have been a lifeline to me. Never ever been preachy.
Lots of Muslims mums feel happy coming too. Totally non judgy, lovely group.

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