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To just want some time to myself instead of having sex?

(53 Posts)
u32ng Thu 10-Mar-16 21:15:14

It's been a busy day: I've looked after 3m old DC2, done house chores, had my sister over for lunch/the afternoon, made dinner, bathed and put DC2 to bed, done the tesco online shop, and am about to make bottles (it's 9pm). I was then looking forward to actually sitting down and having some 'me' time until heading to bed at 10pm. DH has just asked if we can have sex after the bottles are done. My first thought was that I can't be arsed and just want my own space for a bit blush.

AIBU and selfish to just want 1hr to myself? I know DH will probably take a bit of a huff if I say no hmm

HelsBels3000 Thu 10-Mar-16 21:17:15

YANBU - I have sympathy! My DH is much the same. Highly irritating to be nagged into it - passion killer indeed.

FirstWeTakeManhattan Thu 10-Mar-16 21:20:06


It doesn't matter what you've been doing all day. Don't fancy it? Don't do it.

winchester1 Thu 10-Mar-16 21:22:09

God no you've got a 3 mnth old ffs

KatsutheClockworkOctopus Thu 10-Mar-16 21:26:41


Fratelli Thu 10-Mar-16 21:27:06

Being asked if we could have sex would be a huge turn off for me anyway! I prefer spontaneity. Let him go off in a huff, please never feel pressured into having sex, it isn't any ones duty to have sex with their partner.

PacificDogwod Thu 10-Mar-16 21:28:39

YANBU. At all.

If he fancies sex, I am sure he can think of a way to satisfy that desire without involving you.

Meeep Thu 10-Mar-16 21:30:11

Can't you say no if you're not in the mood?

Lweji Thu 10-Mar-16 21:31:16

Give him the bottles and have some quiet time for yourself?

Only1scoop Thu 10-Mar-16 21:33:52

'Asked if we can have sex after the bottles are done'

Blimey he's spontaneous.

Sounds like you have a post bottle washing appointment confused

MadameJosephine Thu 10-Mar-16 21:42:25

DH will probably take a bit of a huff if I say no

How attractive! There's zero chance I would be able to get in the mood for sex with a man with this kind of attitude

Junosmum Thu 10-Mar-16 21:49:00

And he's not doing the bottles because...might help you get in the mood!

HeddaGarbled Thu 10-Mar-16 21:49:56

Tell him that the next time you will want sex will be after an evening of resting while he cooks the dinner, does the online shop, bottles and any other chores which still need doing.

CantThink5 Thu 10-Mar-16 21:51:40

Tell him he's on the sofa tonight to give you space & peace to relax wink

lilydaisyrose Thu 10-Mar-16 21:53:17

I probably could've had sex and been now enjoying some time to myself in the time it took you to write this and read replies.

momtothree Thu 10-Mar-16 21:53:19

My SH does this - so annoying - just is! Yet never takes the hint that this approached doesn't work - EVER!!

ExitPursuedByABear Thu 10-Mar-16 21:54:03

Get to bed. Relax. Ignore.

ohthegoats Thu 10-Mar-16 21:54:46

Ha, this happens in our house too. Apparently the other day, me complaining about my aching boobs was a passion killer... there was no passion from my side of things anyway, so mission I wasn't aware of accomplished.

I don't think that guys realise how exhausting it is having someone touching you the whole time, and how when the kids are in bed, you just want to 'not' be touched for a bit.

Want2bSupermum Thu 10-Mar-16 21:55:40

If I were you I would in a huff that he hasn't figured out that if he does the bottles you could have the break you want and he could have what he wants.

GingerCuddleMonsterThe2nd Thu 10-Mar-16 21:57:26

The OH occasionally asks for sex, however if I say no he just shrugs. Yes never had a huff about it, and yanbu to want some time to yourself!

Shakey15000 Thu 10-Mar-16 21:58:14

No way on earth would I be fancying a tumble with anyone who-

A. Asked for it at a specified time
B. Hadn't offered to bath/do bottles
C. Would sulk if I declined

Tell him NO, that you don't fancy it and want some time alone.

imwithspud Thu 10-Mar-16 22:00:45


Going in a huff is extremely unattractive and juvenile.

Lweji Thu 10-Mar-16 22:02:19

This is one reason ex is an ex.

EweAreHere Thu 10-Mar-16 22:04:51


After a long day of looking after a three month old, and being responsible for the evening routine as well and still doing the chores that will be necessary for the overnight feedings and feeding the family, frankly, he has a lot of nerve asking. What's he been doing while you've been getting on with all the chores all evening?!

And don't apologize for saying no. Just say no. You want some peace and quiet before you get some sleep.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Thu 10-Mar-16 22:09:36

Being huffy if you refuse sex is a really unhealthy attitude. Borders on sexual harassment I feel.

Just say no..if he huffs, fuck him. Or rather don't fuck him.

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