To find this woman at work really irritating and how best to deal with her?(11 Posts)
I don't really want to put too much specific information here as it could potentially be quite outing really, particularly if they or other people at work use MN.
Anyway I'll give it my best shot to make sense without being too vague or giving too much away...
Have relatively recently started a new job, completely new sector for me (healthcare related). Have been there for a few months, had lots of training and feel comfortable and confident with 97% of what is expected of me.
Woman 1 is senior to me and has always come across as having a bit of an attitude towards me which I don't really see directed at the same level to other staff (she is a bit grouchy in general but she seems to save most of the 'tude for me). She generally never smiles at me, or looks at me when I talk to her. She's quite short in her manner. I feel confident that I have done nothing wrong on a personal level as have ramped up the niceness to her by being extra smiley and asking stuff about her (like what she did over the weekend etc). I've caught her a few times frowning at me or giving me evil looks. Anyway recently I've had some extra training on a thing which is much more technical than what I have thus far done. I should technically be supervised at all times when doing this, but whenever she is 'supervising' me she goes away and leaves me to it only to then come back and get annoyed about all things I have done 'wrong' . There have been two occasions now when I have been midway through the 'thing' and got stuck and called out to her to help me and she has essentially completely ignored me. She either does this or stands over me, sighing and tutting and muttering to herself about what I'm doing wrong. It really annoys me because I know that what I am doing is completely new to me and have been reassured by lots of other people at work that it takes time to get to grips with it and not beat myself up if it goes wrong the first few times.
I also find her quite patronising. She will explain things that I feel are either totally self explanatory and therefore she thinks she needs to tell me because she thinks I'm stupid or stuff that I have done no problem day in day out since I started with no problem.
Anyway, I have got pmt so am feeling a bit more sensitive to this kind of thing than usual but just wanted to see if IABU?
Sorry I can't advise about all of it (just woken up) but if she's training you on something and walks away then stop until she comes back. She's a twat
keep a log for your own purposes . when you need her to help you , send an email as that gives you a paper trail and note in your log when you send the email , when she comes to'help' , if she actually helps, and the manner in which she does it. It will not take long for the pattern to emerge and you can take that log+ emails to her supervisor or HR depending on the best path to take. Stop wasting your energy being so nice to her, A pleasant 'good morning' or such will suffice.
I met one exactly like this when I was temping. She'd give me impossible jobs to do while she did the easy stuff and ignored my requests for help. She was absolutely vile and got my contract terminated early by telling lies. As I was temping I had no say in the matter.
My only advice would be to have a word with your manager voicing your concerns.
so 97% of the time, you are happy and confident with your job?
it's only the 3% that you have to be helped by this grumpy woman? if so, and if she doesn't have any other power over you, and is not your manager, then it doesn't sound so bad. i would just try to be brave through the painful parts!!!
i agree with the poster above, don't waste time being extra nice to her, but always be totally professional in all dealings with her. if it was much worse and she was your manager i would advise you to look for another job.
Just read to check this wasn't about me.
How horrible. YANBU.
The day to day snippy comments and evil looks are one thing, but the training (all aspects - leaving you to it, being patronising and nasty etc) are on a different level. Can you talk to your manager?
I think I would be loudly shouting her back every time she walked away - with another query
Yep I know this. Had a very similar situation a few years ago with a vile woman. Patronising, unhelpful, unwelcoming. She had me in tears one day, although I hid my distress. My hubby gave me a tip and I swear it worked. Had to ask her to help with me something so our conversation was a bit like this. Me "J I hate to ask you but could you give me a hand with this, I'd ask someone else but I'm afraid you've got the short straw".
Cow said "huh what do you mean"
Me "oh just that you always seem so irritated with me, sorry you find me such a pain".
The Cow was so flustered and embarrassed that her attitude changed. .
I'd have to just ask her what her problem is. I think it's always best to get shit like this out in the open instead of having your head done in by some twit.
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