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to find this mentality annoying?

(97 Posts)
MrsDeathOfRats Wed 09-Mar-16 12:40:37

My dh never finishes anything.

Orange juice - half a mouthful left in the bottle

Cheese - like Brie he will leave a tiny bit, like the top piece with the skin on.

Fresh bread (like baguette) he will leave 1 inch or so wrapped in the paper.

Cake - a sliver will be left on the plate.

Packet of biscuits - one left in the packet. Sometimes it's just ^half!
He has always done this. I never really questioned it too much. It was clearly a habit so just left it.
But recently he has started telling Dd that it is rude to finish things.
Ie - don't finish the juice, what if someone else wants some?
Don't finish the cheese -
That it is rude and selfish to finish something.
But this drives me mad.
Also, when I questioned this he basically had to say that he thinks I am rude when I finish something.
So my only understanding is that we have to throw away the last piece of everything just so no one is rude by consuming it....

Wtf. That is nuts isn't it???

IPityThePontipines Wed 09-Mar-16 12:41:52

Is he saving a little bit for the fairies?

BarbaraofSeville Wed 09-Mar-16 12:43:35

How is it rude to finish things but not/less rude to leave a tiny pointless bit that gets wasted.

If he was leaving a glass of juice, or 2 biscuits, or a portion of cheese, fine, but not leaving crumbs because it saves him the hassle of putting the wrapping in he bin.

Chocolatteaddict1 Wed 09-Mar-16 12:43:53

He obviously has ishooooes what are his parents like?

Duckdeamon Wed 09-Mar-16 12:44:57

Fine for him to do that: not fine for him to encourage DC to do likewise without reaching an agreement or compromise with you.

MrsDeathOfRats Wed 09-Mar-16 12:46:07

I have actually never met his parents. They live in another country and don't speak English. So as much as I've seen his mum on Skype, we haven't really spoken.

It just doesn't make any sense! I could live with it when it was just him being weird but now he is trying to get Dd to do it aswell. And I don't like that. It has caused a row.

glad I'm not the only one who thinks he is a freak

JanetOfTheApes Wed 09-Mar-16 12:46:20

Bit harsh. It was probably a Big Thing when he was a kid, and he never really questioned it. Just talk about it!

JanetOfTheApes Wed 09-Mar-16 12:47:04

You've had a child together but never met his parents? That's.....strange.

0phelia Wed 09-Mar-16 12:49:08

Haha I have come across this as a cultural/European trait before.

I was told by a certain family member that it's rude to finish everything on your plate, otherwise "mum" or whoever thinks they need to give you a second helping.

It indicates that you are not full up and you need more of whatever it is.

Nonsense, though!

0phelia Wed 09-Mar-16 12:49:54

It's a cultural difference. Live with it!

ToriaPumpkin Wed 09-Mar-16 12:50:31

I know someone like that. Drives me batshit. Either leave a whole portion, or just fucking eat it! Leaving crumbs/a rind/a mouthful is just wasteful.

Stanky Wed 09-Mar-16 12:52:08

That does sound a bit annoying.

acasualobserver Wed 09-Mar-16 12:52:20

I was told by a certain family member that it's rude to finish everything on your plate, otherwise "mum" or whoever thinks they need to give you a second helping.

Yes, indeed, one must always leave something for Mr Manners.

ijustwannadance Wed 09-Mar-16 12:54:15

Tell him he can waste food all he wants but not to force his daft ideas onto DD. Because someone is really going to want his half eaten biscuit. hmm

MrsDeathOfRats Wed 09-Mar-16 12:54:48

His parents live in a different country that we are unlikely to travel to as it is a terrorist state, and they are unlikely to come here as old and frail.

Is it a prerequisite of starting a family that you travel to unsafe countries to meet people you can't converse with cos you don't speak a language in kind?
I did not know this!!

I do live with it, I just don't want him forcing this mentality on Dd. And we have disagreed over it.
I never once mentioned it u til he started saying it to Dd.
He says I am being rude by finishing stuff and I think it's a weird way to live always having to throw away the last biscuit cos no one can eat it incase they are rude to all the other people present who also can't eat it cos then they are rude!!!

Stanky Wed 09-Mar-16 12:56:22

Dh's family always leave a couple of mouthfuls of tea or coffee in the mug. Sometimes, I don't realise and tip it every where when I go to put them in the dishwasher. SIL asks for drinks, sips a mouthful, and leaves the rest. By the end of the day, there are about 4 almost full cups of cold tea on the side. It drives my dm nuts.

Flingingmelon Wed 09-Mar-16 12:57:14

Ooh, friends kids went to a super posh school and they were taught to do this. It's good manners apparently. hmm

Made me think I'd done a bad job of cooking lunch TBH.

Stanky Wed 09-Mar-16 12:58:09

I often find at parties, that everyone is too polite to take the last after eight mint. People are strange.

molyholy Wed 09-Mar-16 12:58:29

Is he saving a little bit for the fairies?


KatharinaRosalie Wed 09-Mar-16 13:03:30

Woudl drive me nuts too, who wants a dried up piece of cheese or a mouthful of juice? It's lazy - you leave a sliver, so you don't have to throw the packaging away.

IfNotNowThenWhenever Wed 09-Mar-16 13:04:02

I do this! Exactly this!
Not because it's rude not to, but because. ...I have no idea!
Ok, fine it's for the fairies.
Not worth starting a row over surely?
When he encourages your little one to do the same just catch her eye and do the twirly finger next to your head and roll your eyes at Daddy. She'll get the picture.

I would save up all the little bits and pieces he leaves, over the week, and serve them to him as his dinner on Friday - to prevent wastage.

Mind you - as a teenager, I used to get sent to stay with my mum's friend, in the summer, and she used to keep all the left overs - even a spoonful of mash or whatever - and Friday's dinner was all the left over savoury stuff, divided between us, followed by all the sweet leftovers, ditto - with custard over the top. It was called scraps dinner and scraps pudding and was awful.

DinosaursRoar Wed 09-Mar-16 13:06:50

I would tell him that while it's not a good idea to overeat if you have had enough in order to "finish something up" - if the amount he is leaving isn't enough for another portion for someone else, then it's pointless. That you understand it is a cultural thing from his background that he's been taught it's rude to finish something, but that's not the case here and if he thinks about it, it's not logical to leave a bit that's not enough for someone else to have some (like a mouthful of orange juice, you'd still need to open another bottle if you wanted a glass of juice).

Ask him why it's ruder to leave just a tiny bit that's not enough for someone else to have a portion than it is to eat/use up all of something.

queenMab99 Wed 09-Mar-16 13:08:28

Leaving a bit on the plate 'for Mr Manners' used to be a thing probably pre WW2, however leaving bits in packets to avoid being rude seems a bit strange, it would be nice to leave most of the biscuits in the packet for the next person (me!). If it is a cultural difference, then all sorts of things are changing now anyway, so perhaps it is time unreasonable, wasteful traditions were ditched, for practical reasons.

DinosaursRoar Wed 09-Mar-16 13:09:03

IfNotNow - were you taught as a child it was "greedy" to finish up all of something? You are effectively still denying someone else having some if you've not left enough for another portion, but you haven't "finished it all".

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