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To think you shouldn't take time off work for a deceased pet?

(405 Posts)
ImogenTubbs Wed 09-Mar-16 07:16:13

Woman in my team (quite new, very young) went home at lunchtime yesterday because her family pet had been put down (it was old, she lives with her parents). She has now just said she wants to 'work from home' today because she is so upset.

I had a pet, so I get it, but AIBU to think this is not on, and unfair on the rest of the team?

megletthesecond Wed 09-Mar-16 07:19:17

I don't know. Was it a dog? I've had colleagues who take a days leave when their beloved cat or dog dies. It doesn't bother me picking up the slack.

Gileswithachainsaw Wed 09-Mar-16 07:19:55

What an absolutely horrid post.


if she needs a day off she needs a day off. have some compassion seriously.

I'd be devestated too. and cab do without cold heated people witg their mental lists of what deaths are acceptable to Warren a day off. not her fault if it falls apart without her. it's poor organisation your end

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Wed 09-Mar-16 07:20:57

I've taken time off when I've lost pets. I've always been heart broken.

Floralnomad Wed 09-Mar-16 07:22:01

I knew someone who had 6 months off with depression after her horse died . Anyhow I think it's perfectly reasonable to have time off work if a pet dies .

WizardOfToss Wed 09-Mar-16 07:22:18

I have a pet, so I get it

I really don't think that you do.

Coconutty Wed 09-Mar-16 07:22:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PastaPrincess Wed 09-Mar-16 07:23:10

I think YABVU

Mrsnippycat Wed 09-Mar-16 07:23:31


Don't be so nasty.

I've had days off and worked from home when pets have been ill or passed away, and I'm not very young or new (if that's at all relevant).

She's lost a much-loved pet who she probably grew up with. She's sad. Give her a break.

YesItsMeIDontCare Wed 09-Mar-16 07:23:36

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WhatBloodyTimeDoYouCallThis Wed 09-Mar-16 07:24:26

So she's had 1/2 day off and today she is not 'off work' but just asked to work from home. Absolutely fine. Remember she is very young.
Anything after that I would start to question but you sound harsh and lacking in empathy for a young employee.

SirChenjin Wed 09-Mar-16 07:24:32

How is it unfair if she's working from home? Presumably you all have the option of working from home?

GlitteryFluff Wed 09-Mar-16 07:24:32

I think it depends on the pet in question. For example, Goldfish I'd say you're probably not BU (but I've never had a goldfish so not sure how attached you get?)
If it's a dog, then yabu.

GiraffesAndButterflies Wed 09-Mar-16 07:24:51

If she needs a day off she should take leave. If she is OK to work then she should be in work. I wouldn't grant this to one of my team and j wouldn't give compassionate leave for a pet.

Gileswithachainsaw Wed 09-Mar-16 07:25:37

Oh and people like you prove exactly why pets mean so damn much to people..they are a far greater loss than the likes of back stabbing arse holes they will meet along the way.

ImogenTubbs Wed 09-Mar-16 07:26:24

It wasn't a dog. That's why I'm asking here, as I don't want to be mean. I lost my pet earlier this year and was devastated (still am), but I was in work the same morning. Alright - IABU! I'll go easy. Yesitme, I'm so sorry you've been so badly affected.

TheCokeMachine Wed 09-Mar-16 07:26:54

I took a days annual leave when I had to have my dog PTS. My boss offered to let me work from home but I declined as I was too upset to deal with our clients.

You are being mean.

ImogenTubbs Wed 09-Mar-16 07:29:18

Those are my first ever biscuits! blush

PageStillNotFound404 Wed 09-Mar-16 07:29:21

The fact you've put "work from home" in quotes suggests you don't believe she will do any work. That's a separate issue from whatever the reason is she's using to not be in the office. If you have a WFH policy then I'd expect you to have the checks in place to ensure a satisfactory amount of work was done.

Personally I would have said "don't worry about work, take a day's leave/flexi" partly because one day of redistributing the urgent parts of her workload is worth the goodwill it's likely to build - and over a team, the need to take short-term unexpected leave for various reasons tends to balance out over time so everyone takes their turn at picking up the slack - and partly because I'm a soppy animal lover myself and I not only know the effect a death of a much-loved pet can have from firsthand experience, but also that not everyone reacts to the loss of a pet in the same way as I would. Some will take it better, some will take it worse.

Mrsnippycat Wed 09-Mar-16 07:30:21

I have cats but most of my losses are another species. Sometimes the smallest creatures hold a huge part of our heart.

I agree with Giraffes that compassionate leave isn't necessary but leave or WFH is perfectly fair, and probably more fair on the rest of the team than having someone sobbing on and off all day. Always awkward!

Hepzibar Wed 09-Mar-16 07:30:55

YANBU OP I agree totally. I would not be giving compassionate leave for an animal.

If they insisted it would have to be unpaid and I would take a dim view when Performance reviews came around.

MissWimpyDimple Wed 09-Mar-16 07:33:03

YANBU I completely agree!

SirChenjin Wed 09-Mar-16 07:33:33

She hasn't asked for - or been given - compassionate leave, she's working from home, presumably as she is allowed to do. I imagine she just wants a day working quietly at home.

Pontytidy Wed 09-Mar-16 07:34:32

If a child's teachers took day off for pet death I do not think I would that sympathetic (of course may not know or the death may be linked to other issues) but on principle I do not think it is appropriate

FigMango1 Wed 09-Mar-16 07:36:00

But she's still working, just from home though so what's your problem? And she left after lunchtime so it was just half a day. Goodness you're here whining about something dying.

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