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To say something to someone

(29 Posts)
Headdesk Tue 08-Mar-16 19:31:37

I'm at uni, I've noticed that a friend of mine is being picked on by a lecturer. Lecturer has seemed to have had a problem with her since the beginning. We are a mainly practical course and I've seen her work and it's outstanding, her marks marked by other lecturers have reflected this, this year this one lecturer is marking all our work and has been giving her extremely low marks when her work is constantly good. Lecturer also takes great pleasure in putting her down with scathing remarks and making her feel small when we have group lectures. Other lecturers have noticed and commented on it as well as other people on our course.
Friend is getting very upset about it, but is very shy and won't go and talk to someone about it because she is scared it will get back to lecturer and make things worse. Fair enough he doesn't like her but this is her degree and future he is messing around with. I want to say something but I'm unsure if I would be allowed to, would my friend get annoyed. I just feel so frustrated for her, she's talking of just giving up.

GabiSolis Tue 08-Mar-16 19:46:31

Oh how awful! I think you have to do something - although not behind her back ideally.

LifeofI Tue 08-Mar-16 19:49:18

You can say to him you have noticed he picks on her, then he will probably feel like shit and stop doing it because he will realise that you are probably not the only one who has noticed it. Most people especially in a professional setting do not want to have the reputation as being a bully.

Headdesk Tue 08-Mar-16 19:49:22

I'm not sure who to talk to? Would other lecturers be able to do anything?

CerseiHeartsJaime4ever Tue 08-Mar-16 19:49:25

If other lecturers and students have noticed and you do say something, how will they know it's you and not someone else who raised the issue anonymously?

Say something, this must be awful for your friend. sad

ridemesideways Tue 08-Mar-16 19:49:43

How worse could it get though? If she's talking of giving up anyway she's got nothing to lose by raising a complaint... Does she have a personal lecturer she or you could contact? Or arrange an appointment with one of the lecturers who has noticed it?

Headdesk Tue 08-Mar-16 19:50:22

I think he knows he's doing it, he seeks to get great pleasure from embarrassing her in front of other people, other lecturers are also there when he does it.

Headdesk Tue 08-Mar-16 19:51:19

She also says she doesn't want to make a fuss. It's so upsetting to see because she's very talented sad

ChicChantal Tue 08-Mar-16 19:53:34

Don't you have a personal tutor? That's the place to start if you have. I dropped an optional course because of this behaviour from a lecturer, and discovered later that the person in question had a bad reputation for picking on someone from each group. Your friend won't be the only one. Ask around. Ask how other people dealt with it. Your uni/college should have some sort of procedure for dealing with stuff like this.

Headdesk Tue 08-Mar-16 19:54:54

I have one lecturer who I always go to when I have an issue, she is very good so I will talk to her. I was just worried she would say that she can't discuss it with me because it's not about me.

Quietwhenreading Tue 08-Mar-16 19:55:42

Go to your Tutor or Student reps.

Make sure you have dates and examples though.

Headdesk Tue 08-Mar-16 19:57:27

I will do that.
It just makes me so angry that he can mess up someone's whole future because he doesn't like them. It's so wrong.

RubbleBubble00 Tue 08-Mar-16 20:06:49

Make a diary of specific things that are said. You will have a head of course and also a mentor hopefully - either would be a good approach. Make sure friend keeps all her work as she can get remarked if he's being bias.

RubbleBubble00 Tue 08-Mar-16 20:08:21

I would also approach students union rep and ask for advice

FaFoutis Tue 08-Mar-16 20:15:05

Isn't the work double marked?
She could request that her work is remarked. There's usually a procedure for that.

wheresthel1ght Tue 08-Mar-16 20:17:07

You should have a student services dept at the uni and also some sort of pastoral rep on the union so I would definitely go to them.

I had a similar issue with a lecturer when I was at uni, I had a nasty cancer scare and she informed my entire seminar group and then told them I was just an attention seeking baby. I was then frog marched by a group of 16 people to our course head's office and he was brilliant. I had no repercussions from it and after a few more complaints from other students she was asked to take a sabbatical.

I would maybe persuade your friend that she needs to speak up but go with her for support.

Headdesk Tue 08-Mar-16 20:18:17

No, one essay or piece of work it picked from each grade band to be looked at by someone else, other than that it's all marked by the same person.

Headdesk Tue 08-Mar-16 20:19:41

wheres that's awful!!
He seems to only have a problem with her, I honestly can't see a reason for it, she's hard working, polite and very nice. I just don't understand it.

hmcAsWas Tue 08-Mar-16 20:24:03

This is awful

Yes - please do go and speak to the other lecturer that you confide in about your friends predicament

MadamDeathstare Tue 08-Mar-16 20:27:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blindsider Tue 08-Mar-16 20:35:25

She has probably rebuffed his advances...

You absolutely should report this it's bullying!!

shovetheholly Tue 08-Mar-16 20:36:06

I would encourage her to see her tutor and raise it. If she's not comfortable doing it herself, you can't really do it for her without putting her under stress. But I would definitely, definitely be offering to support and help her in raising it because it's really unfair that she's being treated this way.

The thing is that within a department there is politics. You may well find that the university lecturer in question is highly disliked by colleagues and very much out on a limb. You may find they have form for this kind of behaviour. (In fact, such complaints may be something the department privately welcomes as an impetus to deal with someone who is difficult).

I would also ask about systems for anonymous marking if that's possible. Also, all work should be moderated, so if there is a discrepancy and your friend has raised this as an issue, there may be a case for her work to be looked at as part of the sample for second marking.

If all else fails, she can query and appeal the grades.

Headdesk Tue 08-Mar-16 20:40:20

He is disliked by everyone, lecturers and students, but he seems to be marking everyone else fairly. He's known for being very opinionated and if you don't agree you are wrong.

DoreenLethal Tue 08-Mar-16 20:43:22

Please do go see a different lecturer. This happened to a friend of mine, another woman lecturer was bullying her after she had her baby and was just being nasty. We reported it and she disappeared after a week or so on a sabbatical and we never saw her again. Nasty woman.

Junosmum Tue 08-Mar-16 20:43:43

Yes, say something. The head of your course would be the person to speak to, if nothing is done then speak to the dean of the school/ department. Try and think of specific examples, times, dates, words said. Bullies need to be stopped.

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