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AIBU?

WIBU To have another baby?

13 replies

MyUserNameIsGreat · 08/03/2016 18:30

I am 38, mum of four, eldest is 8 and youngest is 11 months. My husband and I are also looking after his sisters 3 children ages 7, 5 and 3. This is for the forseeable future.

Both me and my husband would like another baby (or two!) If the three children weren't living with us, we wouldn't hestiate to have another one. We have the space and have all the baby gear. We would only need to buy clothes if it was a girl (four boys).

There is a chance we could end up having the children for good or certainly they may be with us on and off until they are adults, but nobody knows what the future will hold.

Would you, in this situation, have another baby? 4 to 5 or 7 to 8 is hardly going be noticable is it??

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Oysterbabe · 08/03/2016 18:35

I wouldn't no but then I think 4 is an insane number of kids Grin
You'd probably be fine from the sounds of it.

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VegasIsBest · 08/03/2016 18:36

How can the difference between 4 and 8 kids not be noticeable??
Presumably his sister's kids are living with you because something has broken down at home. In which case they probably need more love and attention. Not less. How will feeling like they are part of a production line, rather than individuals, help any of the 4, 5, 6 or 7 kids you currently care for?

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RubbleBubble00 · 08/03/2016 18:40

Personally no because your sisters children are going to need lots of tlc if their mum can't care for them.

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TruJay · 08/03/2016 18:41

Surely if you were finding your current situation immensely difficult you wouldn't even be considering it and you are so you must think you can handle it.

If you both want a baby then I say go for it but I love babies and don't really think of the logical side dh does that I just love having babies.

So lovely of you to care for your sil's children too Flowers

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MyUserNameIsGreat · 08/03/2016 18:41

I meant that we currently have 7 so going to 8 isn't that noticeable, and if the other children go back to their mum then 4 to 5 isn't that noticeable. Believe me, 4 to 7 was very noticeable.

None of them feel like a production line, they are all treated equally and have special one on one time with both me and my husband.

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PotteringAlong · 08/03/2016 18:42

I wouldn't. You can't possibly give 8 kids the individual care and attention they deserve and need; uou lift can't.

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PotteringAlong · 08/03/2016 18:43

Cross post! If you're sure you can then that's fine; but I still wouldn't.

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mycatsloveeachother · 08/03/2016 18:45

This won't be a very popular viewpoint but I think having five children is selfish from an environmental point of view - sorry, you did ask!

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ButEmilylovedhim · 08/03/2016 19:06

You're going to have a lot of teenagers in a few years. That's hard going in a different way to little children. Have you thought ahead to then? Genuine question, not being snarky. Especially as three of them have had upset in their lives.

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FlowersAndShit · 08/03/2016 19:12

I think it's very irresponsible to have that may children and also very selfish. If you ask most adults if they liked growing up in a large family most of them would say they hated it.

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cornishglos · 08/03/2016 19:34

Well I am from a big family and I loved it. I feel so privileged to have my siblings. Maybe it's not great for the environment, but filling this planet with people who love each other will have a positive effect on many that they meet. If you have to have the population argument, it might be better that people who aren't sure if they want kids don't have them. Anyway, I say do it. Babies are awesome and if you can provide a loving, large family for another soul, I think that's great.

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eatsleephockeyrepeat · 08/03/2016 20:28

I think it's a lovely idea.

Happy (and unhappy) childhoods come in all shapes and sizes. Big families, not everyone's cup of tea - some feel more strongly than others - but sounds like they're yours. And sounds like you're approaching it very responsibly (from your few lines of text I judge thee) so make another baby! So what if half of Mumsnet disagree with you, it takes all sorts to make the world go round.

Oh and the kids you're looking after? It may well be wonderful for them too :)

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Fedup21 · 08/03/2016 20:31

Wow-can you comfortably afford to feed/clothe/support 8 children?!

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