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To want to be consulted over a new sofa?

(12 Posts)
Yulia989 Tue 08-Mar-16 16:22:48

OH said he wanted a new sofa, so we discussed it but came to the conclusion we couldn't afford the one we want yet, and would get it in a few months.
Last week his mother came round and I was upstairs. I heard them talking about where the new sofa was going to go and how it would fit. When she left I asked him what she'd come for and he said to bring some clothes for our son.
A few days later he says that his mother has bought a new corner sofa and he's said that we'll have it until we get a new one. I asked what it looked like and he told me it was the same as his mothers other one. I told him that I didn't like it (cream leather), and didn't fancy a second hand sofa. We left the discussion at no conclusion.
On Sunday, his mother was picking him up to go to church with her, and then we had plans a few hours later. When his mother arrived at 9.30, his father and brother also turned up in a van with the new sofa. He left for church with his mother, leaving me to help them move it into the house and remove the old one. It was a lot of work, we had to remove two doors and still caused some damage to doorframes. I wouldn't have let them bring it in if i didn't feel sorry for his father.
So I texted OH and told him how upset I was that this had happened, and it was his fault for not discussing things properly with me about the sofa. He said he didn't know it was going to be delivered that day but had agreed we would have it. We rowed in the car on the way to our mothers day meal with my mother, his mother, and our families, then didn't talk all day.
He still thinks I'm overreacting and he should be allowed to make these decisions on his own "because he's a grown adult". I know it sounds trivial over a sofa, but I hate him and his mother conspiring over things that effect me and our kids. Then thinking he can just do them and I'll accept it.

AlmaMartyr Tue 08-Mar-16 17:00:37

YANBU, I'd expect to be consulted about such a large piece of furniture.

Bonywasawarriorwayayix Tue 08-Mar-16 17:26:38

Well, you are also "a grown adult" and as such should be consulted about large pieces of furniture in your home.

hmcAsWas Tue 08-Mar-16 17:30:16

He's a cheeky sod. It should be a joint decision.

LizzieMacQueen Tue 08-Mar-16 17:35:08

Sorry, this isn't clear to me - did you inherit your MIL's old sofa or are you 'housing' her new sofa (and if so why?) for some indeterminable length of time?

GoblinLittleOwl Tue 08-Mar-16 17:36:50

Is it a new sofa, or is it your mother in law's old one?
My ex- MIL did this so that she could have a new sofa, only ever so fortunately it wouldn't fit in our room.
You are right to be furious.

goddessofsmallthings Tue 08-Mar-16 17:51:45

he should be allowed to make these decisions on his own "because he's a grown adult"

It seems he's not sufficiently 'grown' to know that it's necessary to measure up befoire buying or agreeing to house items such as sofas in order to avoid causing damage to doorframes.

YANBU but you will be if you allow him to do anything similar again and absent himself when the hard work needs to be done.

BoomBoomsCousin Tue 08-Mar-16 19:17:53

YWBU to let them bring it in because you felt sorry for his dad. But YANBU to think he should not have arranged it, especially since he hadn't simply done it on his own, he'd talked to you about it and knew you didn't want it.

NNalreadyinuse Tue 08-Mar-16 19:21:56

This is your fault for letting them bring it into the house. I would have said that dh hadn't agreed it with you. Not on for him to agree to this, then bugger off out and not even be there to deal with it.

ProcrastinatorGeneral Tue 08-Mar-16 19:44:16

Permanent marker and a toddler will soon solve your problem. What a fucking arsehole your husband is.

Yulia989 Thu 10-Mar-16 13:46:55

So it's second hand one from ebay that MIL wants for her house eventually.

MIL said the other day that if I don;t like it that they'll take it away, but I don't want to come across as being petty about it.

Think I'm just going to order a brand new sofa from DFS (Sale now on apparently) and tell OH once I know the delivery date. Tell MIL that I need her sofa out by that date.

SquinkiesRule Thu 10-Mar-16 16:31:43

Unfortunately light leather can easily have biro and other kid marks cleaned off using hairspray.
You would not be unreasonable to bury your not so Dh under the new patio you can have put in with the money you get for selling the ugly sofa.

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