We've got a house abroad, and typically we go there every Summer to spend a couple of weeks with the kids. Often we invite other people out too, and that usually includes my parents.
My dad is extremely overweight to the extent that he breaks furniture when he sits on it. Often when they go on holiday they have to pay for furniture in hotels that he has broken. In our house in the UK he has broken our sofa, various chairs, numerous toilet seats. In our house abroad he has broken a bed, a chair, and both toilet seats. Worse though is that he has broken the staircase we had fitted when we first started renovating the house a few years ago, which cost a lot of money and was really well fitted. Now it has come away at the top because he drops his full weight onto the top step when he comes downstairs.
He's getting bigger and causing more damage as he does so, and I don't know what to do about this year's holiday. I'm pretty sure they're waiting for us to invite them. We have fun when they are there although there is quite a bit of tension between my DH and my dad now because my dad is very sloppy and thoughtless e.g. making a lot of noise and banging about when the kids are in bed, spilling things and not clearing them up, as well as the aforementioned breaking things. He's completely oblivious to housekeeping, and it's like having a giant toddler around. He's very sensitive so if we say anything he will sulk and refuse to speak to us and say he's going home etc, so it's easier in some respects to not say anything.
I've looked at other options for sleeping arrangements so he wouldn't have to go upstairs, but that would mean putting them in the utility room, and I'm pretty sure that would make them feel bad about being exiled from upstairs. Also he needs a proper bed and we don't have one downstairs. They are 70yo.
I've discussed it with my mum and not outright said they aren't invited, but told her I'm fed up of him breaking things and being thoughtless. She just shakes her head sadly and says things like "I know, I'm fed up of it too".
I feel really tight about it as I know they like to spend time with the DCs, and it is nice to have them there, but I don't want to risk either total collapse of the staircase, or total collapse of my DH's and DF's relationship.
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AIBU?
to not invite parents on holiday with us
41 replies
ForwardAll · 08/03/2016 13:47
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