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Aibu to be being completely unreasonable and irrational during pregnancy?

(14 Posts)
TrueBlu Tue 08-Mar-16 10:18:27

I know I'm being very unreasonable.

I'm 16 weeks pg.

One day I'll wake up on top of the world, the next everything is wrong and I want to leave DH.

I woke up in the middle of the night stressing about random things (money mainly) and it has set me off on one today.

Making mental lists of all the unreasonable things DP does and then getting upset because it's just my hormones, then wondering 'or is it?'

Ugh, thought I was past the nausea and mood swings but today they have hit hard and I am being totally unreasonable, but is it ur under the circumstances?

DrunkenUnicorn Tue 08-Mar-16 10:25:00

YANBU.... But then I'm also an unreasonable hormonal mess at 26w... Having felt chipper for the past two weeks I've kept bursting into tears over the past 24 hours, being a complete diva about dh not making a fuss over my birthday... So I really can't be getting judgey!

Honestly I hate being pregnant. I'm sore, tired and an emotional mess... Whilst I try and keep it in check it is hard. I wish I was one of those women who bloom throughout pregnancy, whilst skipping through fields with beautiful children, flowers in their hair etc etc...

Good luck. I think all you can do is be honest with dh, take a lot of beep breaths and grit your teeth for the next few months

WorraLiberty Tue 08-Mar-16 10:28:07

You've just described my menopause symptoms grin

missybct Tue 08-Mar-16 10:42:01

I'm 10w, but last week (at 9) I completely lost my shit with DP. Think of raging, wild, Mrs Rochester type losing the plot type shit and you'd probably need to multiply it by ten to get close.

To be fair, DP was being a dick and refusing to wake up after the fourth time DSS had woken choking on his own spit (he had a vicious cold) and telling me to "RELAX" - and in his defence, DSS is nearly 7 so isn't a baby, but can be incredibly lazy at clearing his throat that results in physically throwing up.

Either way, I lost it. I demanded he came downstairs (so DSS couldn't hear) and I told him to get out of the house blush - My poor DP was standing there saying "WTF missybct" but I kept going. And going. An hour later we were both exhausted and I felt so humiliated and angry at myself I burst into tears and he stroked my hair until I fell asleep.

So...no - your not being unreasonable - both I and DP knew my outburst was entirely hormone triggered which made it easier. I'd say being mindful of hormones may lessen the need to turn to catastrophic thinking (i.e.; leaving DP, worrying about money) and being kinder to yourself may enable you to take a step back and say "This isn't the real TrueBlu talking, this is my hormones" - I find that REALLY helps to distinguish between my true self and my moods that are entirely dictated by hormones.

Not sure how communicative you and DP are, me and mine are very open with how we feel, but if you feel you can talk to him (choose a time when you feel less negative towards him perhaps), have a chat about how the surges/fluctuation in hormones are affecting you. I know people LOL about "moody hormonal women" (which I've never found particularly funny) but I do feel a bit more understanding, or at least compassion, should be given at a time where a woman is essentially at extremely high risk of stress both physically and mentally.

But, it does involve a bit of self awareness too - I am lucky in that I could say during my Mrs Rochester alter ego, "I'm being unreasonable and hormonal" - it's not easy, but it really does help the other person at who the hormonal behaviour is being directed at.

olrose Tue 08-Mar-16 11:03:35

i was exactly the same during my pregnancy! its quite normal, and im sure your partner understands, dont worry about it!

5madthings Tue 08-Mar-16 11:12:19

Nope Yanbu as long as you are aware it's pregnancy related.

I am 36wks and at the weekend had a bit of a meltdown, I am not even sure what it was about now,,just usual stuff and me starting to get stressy about being ready for baby etc, anyway I shouted and got very cross then cried and dh tucked me up in bed and made sure I had a sleep. He is being a star esp now as I managed to fall and hurt my pelvis so am fairly immobile and in pain, am quite liking the Co codomol induce doziness now it's Def making me less stressed but I don't recommend injuring uourself obviously!

Aposey Tue 08-Mar-16 11:14:20

I don't have much to add except I feel your pain. I know it might not be much help as it doesnt work for everyone, but I found doing meditation/relaxation has really helped me to get less wound up/overemotional, and resets me if Im stressing in the night. I started using a hypnobirthing track and it is very effective at putting me back to sleep within 5-15 minutes and I wake up having forgotten what I was stressed about. Dont know how useful it will be for the birth, but its been totally worth it just for getting better sleep!

Yesterday I was feeling very smug as my DH told me I havent been as irrational and emotional as he had been expecting. Now Im worried how bad I am normally if he thinks this is ok! confused

TrueBlu Tue 08-Mar-16 11:30:51

Thanks everyone.

Through bitter experience I now try to avoid DP when I'm having a hormonal time of it. It inevitably ends in me getting angry or crying, DP feeling bad or getting angry, one or both of us apologising and me looking unhinged.

TrueBlu Tue 08-Mar-16 11:32:47

Definitely going to look into hypnobirthing, thanks.

TrueBlu Tue 08-Mar-16 11:33:53

grin Mrs Rochester!

GripingPain Tue 08-Mar-16 11:37:27

Ah, pregnancy.

I hated every second. I got calmer from about 20 weeks! It's perfect normal so don't worry. I'm now 4 weeks into motherhood and I want to divorce DH on a daily basis!

Aposey Tue 08-Mar-16 11:38:39

If youre interested, these are the tracks Im using. Well mostly just falling asleep to the relaxation one wink

I sometimes find the voices of led meditations irritating, but hers is ok.

www.penguin.co.uk/articles/book-talk/mindful-hypnobirthing/

waxweasel Tue 08-Mar-16 11:40:41

Snap! I'm almost 36 weeks and pretty nuts. I just keep making lists upon lists upon lists of things that 'need' doing before the baby arrives, stressing myself ragged about them, racing around trying to do them and meanwhile forgetting to eat lunch or drink enough water...it's awful. Then at night I'm lying awake stressing about the lists, or money, or (the latest one) how we should spell the baby's name. Honestly it's exhausting, and I'm looking forward to the baby arriving so that it goes away! I think it's worse if I'm tired (though it's catch 22 as the stressing and running around also prevents me resting...) as today I feel particularly anxious and unhinged, after only getting about 5 hours broken sleep because of DD1. So I feel for you!

waxweasel Tue 08-Mar-16 11:43:12

Thanks for the hypnobirthing links! I find theMaggie Howell natal hypnotherapy one pretty good and non-irritating too

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